Breaking Free
by weedom
Summary: When Lara left the post apocalyptic world that Zachariah made Dean was leaving to find the Lara of his world. He finds her and this their story. A side story that Becoming Free. I highly recommend you read that one before this one!
1. Chapter 1

a/n Hey guys so I like I promised I am writing a short story for what happened after Lara left the other plane. I highly recommend if you just stumbled across this story to read becoming free first or this short story will make no sense at all. Hope you guys like it!

Dean's POV

So much has changed in such a short amount of time. That woman showed up and it threw my world upside down. I could tell from the first moment I laid eyes on her that she would change everything. It was a gut feeling I had. I tried so hard to stay away from her but she kept pulling me back. I knew she would be leaving and I knew she was married. A pretty good cocktail of reasons not to get to know her but I couldn't seem to stop. Once she got sick I couldn't leave the room. I told her it was because of her son but I could have put him down next to his mom and left. I even tried to do that a few times but every time I got to the door something in me said "protect this woman" and so I did. I stayed and I watched over her.

I didn't mean to get in such a huge fight with her when she woke up. In fact when she woke up asking for me and she kissed me and I thought maybe something could happen there. The kid was sweet and I could be ok with some baby daddy drama. Once I turned on the lights though I knew that she was having none of it. She really is head over heels in love with her husband. So I over reacted a bit and locked her in my cabin. I've done worst things I suppose but I felt like such an ass hole. I tried to show her that I was sorry by going back every night to sing her little guy to sleep but she was just confused by my actions. Every time I went over I fought the urge to tell her I was sorry and let her out but I am just so god damned stubborn sometimes that I refused to change my mind and let her free.

The day I walked in and saw her having sex I thought I would freak out. Like pull out a gun and starting shooting the guy she was riding freak out. I couldn't see who she was on but I knew what she was doing. A myriad of emotions pumped through me at that moment. Jealously was the main one but also a smidgen of hope. If she was willing to cheat on her husband with some guy here maybe she would be willing to cheat on him with me, after I destroy the guy who is currently enjoying her. When I yelled out and she fell forward and the man she was with grabbed her protectively I thought for a moment I was dreaming. What the fuck was my face doing beneath her? And why the fuck wasn't I dreaming of being the guy under her instead of the poor bastard walking in on it? Then Cas brought me out of it and I realized I wasn't dreaming and this was real. They all then proceeded to explain to me the truth. I would have liked if they had maybe oh I don't know not lied to me for a month but hey who I am to ask for the truth when I lie to people for a living I guess.

Seeing a version of me with the woman of my dreams and holding their son was quite a shock. That is the life I secretly always wanted and knew it would never happen. Dean Winchester hunter was not meant to have that kind of life. But right in front of me I am having that life. It was a kick in the gut that is for sure. After he left I couldn't help falling for her further. I could see why my other self was so in love with her. She is funny, smart, kind, and just a bit damaged like we are. She is the perfect fit for us but he got her first and that is something I have to accept. I almost kissed her once but she threw up all over my lap. It was for the best. I would have felt like an ass hole if I succeeded.

I was trying to figure out if Sam was still alive in Lucifer and I kidnapped a demon that was close to him. When Lara came in he looked right at her and asked. "How did you get her out?" That moment kick started a whole new level of concern in me. She is alive in my world despite what they said and she is a prisoner. I knew I had to go find her and rescue her. Even if she doesn't like me ever I need to get her out of that horrible place.

The other Lara was nervous to see me go but I think she knew I had to do this because she didn't try to tell me not too. I've been camping outside Lucifer/Sam's compound for a few days now waiting for the perfect moment to break her out. I finally figured out what window was hers. She stares out of it most of the day so that wasn't hard. She looks so sad.

Its night and I think there must be some sort of meeting tonight because demon guards seem a bit scarce tonight. This is my chance. I quickly yet quietly run across the open field and hide my body flush against the building. It's an old mansion, nothing would be too stylish for Lucifer I guess. I manage to climb the trellis and get to fourth floor of the mansion. I carefully shimmy over to her window on the extremely small ledge that is there. I can only pray she will open it for me so I don't have to make the commotion of breaking it open. I get to the window and I look in. She is sitting at a desk staring at herself in the mirror with tears rolling down her cheek quietly. She looks so different from the Lara I have grown accustomed too. This girl has been through a lot. I try to tell myself to go easy on her and be kind. I can't let the normal Dean ruler of the camp out I need to make this girl feel safe. I knock lightly on the glass and she whips around obviously startled. She focuses on me and breaks out into huge smile and runs to the window flinging it open and pulling me inside. "He said you would come for me. He said now Lara I want you to be prepared he will come and he will save you." She exclaims.

The words shocked and confused don't quite cover what I am feeling currently. "Who told you I was coming?" This is all a bit much.

She grabs my hands and pulls me in to the room away from the window and she shuts it quietly so no one would notice it. "Sam." Did she just say Sam? I grab on to her arms and look down at her. "My brother Sam?" I ask her forcefully.

Lara smiles and shakes her head. "I was petrified of him at first. I remembered him from years ago when Ruby was wearing me and he well, he umm, he hurt me and got me pregnant." She stops for a moment trying to gather control over her feelings. My brother got someone pregnant? That is a story for another time I can't focus on that right now. She must notice I want the rest of the story because she takes a deep breath and continues. "A few months ago I was brought back to life and I woke up here. Sam came walking through that door and I freaked out but Lucifer was the one in control and he explained to me all the changes that were going on in Sam. That night Lucifer tried to… umm.. lie with me but Sam was able to take over his body just enough to get him to leave. Lucifer thought that maybe if he gave Sam one hour a week free to do what he wants he would be happy and be lulled back into submission. Sam has spent his hour with me every week. He told me that you would come for me he was sure of it. He told me to be ready to go with you and to trust you. He told me that when you came you have to kill him." She finishes quietly.

I always knew I would have to kill Sam's body I just hoped that Sam wasn't in there anymore. She grabs my hand and waits till I looked at her. "He wanted me to let you know that he is sorry. He let Lucifer in under the condition that he would not ever hurt you. He did it thinking he was protecting you but he realizes now he messed up. He's sorry Dean."

I can't focus on this right now. I need to get her out of here and back to the camp where it is safe. Once I get all the information from her I can come back here and finish what needs to be done. I grab the angel blade in one hand and I her hand in the other. "Come on we need to get out of here. Do you need to pack anything?"

She shakes her head no. "I don't want any of this stuff." I understand that. I pull her to the window and I explain to her how we are going to get down. Before we can make our escape the door to her room flings open and a man comes in. It doesn't take but a second to recognize the man in front of me, it's Sam.

a/n Soooooo what do you think?


	2. Chapter 2

Dean's POV

"Sam?" I choke out. I haven't seen him since we went out separate ways in 2009 god was that 3 years ago?

Sam starts to chuckle at me and shaking his head. His hair is a bit shorter than he normally keeps it. It's the first sign that he is different. He does love his long locks. I remember trying to cut them once when he was around 8 and he threw a shit fit! "Sorry to disappoint Dean but you're talking to me, Lucifer. Sammy is in here somewhere in here. He is excited that you are here. He has missed you a lot." I miss him too. I never should have let us go our separate ways. I should have forced us to stay together.

We are still at the window but I make sure to move in front of Lara. I can trust Sam but I can't trust Lucifer. "Sam always said you would come to get her one day. Said the pull would be to strong. He managed to get into my thoughts and memories and he saw what you two were supposed to be. I never believed him I guess I should have." He snarls out at me.

Lara starts to tremble behind me. "Sam if you can break out!" I yell at his body.

Lucifer starts to chuckle again almost maniacally. "Sorry Dean I have full control over him right now. This is quite the present you have brought me."

Lara grabs on to the back of my shirt and she grabs a hold of the fabric. I turn around she looks nervous almost scared. I grab her hand and she squeezes it tightly. "I hate to ask but what are you talking about."

He looks from me to Lara and back again. "I have everything I need right in front of me, don't I Lara." I look at Lara and she starts to shake. She looks terrified. "I guess she hasn't had time to tell you yet has she. I finally got her pregnant. The little anti Christ is safe and warm in her womb right now."

I can sense Lara putting her hand protectively over her stomach. "You're wrong Lucifer! It's Sam's I know it's Sam's." She yells at him. What the hell is going on?

Lucifer smiles coldly at her and puts his hands up. "Maybe your right and maybe I'm right. I guess we'll know in 9 months. But you also brought me the only person that could actually bring me down. It's so nice of you to bring me Dean here in a nice bow."

"Don't you fucking touch him!" Lara yells trying to move past me but I throw my arm out to keep her back behind me. I turn around and I look at her. "You're pregnant?" I ask her.

Lara shakes her head slowly. "He succeeded twice in the same week but the second time Sam broke through at the last moment." She stops talking at looks at Lucifer. "It's his and my child is not some pawn in the next phase of your plan for world domination.

"What is with you all and thinking you understand my plans! I am not some evil creature hell bent on making the world a miserable place. I am not going to make this world a horrible place. I am going to make it great again all I ask for in return is to be your God. I don't think that is such a small thing to ask in repayment for making this world better than it was when you guys were born into it. You all act like I am so kind of horrible monster I am an angel and I plan on putting this world back on track like my father wanted it." He actually believes his own lines.

I can't help myself but I start to laugh. "So is that why you have unleashed Croatian and killed what ¾ of the world's population? Yea it seems like you are making the world a better place." I say sarcastically.

"I had to do that. I have to bring it down to rebuild it. I couldn't make beautiful what was ugly so I destroyed it to create. You mortals are all the same. You don't have the higher brain functions to even fathom what I know and what I want to do. Now I promised Sammy here I wouldn't hurt you but I made that promise under the assumption you would be smart enough to stay away. If you leave now I won't kill you out of respect for him but you need to leave her and go back where you came from."

Lara grabs on to my hand tighter. "It's a reasonable offer but I don't think so. She is going to be coming with me." I can hear her letting out a sigh of relief. Lucifer starts to walk towards me. I know we are about to fight. "Just let us go you know I can't hurt Sam." Please just go I don't want to kill my brother's body.

He's fast. He lunges out to attack and I block it and manage to get him away from Lara. I can't risk him hurting her. We spar for a few minutes. I used to be able to take Sammy down easy. He was bigger than me and I would never admit it but he was stronger than me. But the thing that always gave me the edge is that I taught him every move he knows. I can tell what he is going to do before he does it. Now that Lucifer is in there he has a whole other set of skills that I can't even pretend to predict.

I pull the angel blade out and Lucifer looks at it and for a moment I see fear than he lets out a cocky chuckle. "Do you really think you'll ever have the chance to get close enough to my heart to kill me?" I lunge at him and we continue to fight. It seems to go one for hours but I know it's only minutes. I get lucky and I get him on his back and I have the blade at his heart but I can't do it. It's my brother I can't kill him.

"Can't do it can you Dean? Whose it going to be your soul mate or your brother? " He mocks me in my brother's voice. He hits my arm and the blade goes flying. Lucifer stands up and starts to push me back against the wall. "That's what I thought, brother every time. Just wanted to let you know before I killed you that you missed a great fuck in your Lara." Then a change comes over Sam's face. It looks like he is fighting with himself. His face contorts and his hands grab on to his arms looking like he is trying to contain myself. "You have to do it Dean. You have to kill me. I will never be free of him and I can't do it anymore. He is lying there is not going to be some beautiful world created. I can see it in his head. Dean you have to kill me! Put the blade in my heart, take Lara, and get the fuck out of here!" He shouts out.

I move towards the blade but I can't do it. I can't kill him. I have done so much to safe him. I have watched over him since he was 6 months old. I sold my soul for him. I can't just kill him. I can find away. I can still save him. "I can't Sam."

"You have too! It's the only way to fix this mess!" He shouts. I move back a step. Then there is a pain on his face. I look down and there is a blade sticking out of his chest. "SAM!" I scream out. The light starts to sputter out of him and Sam falls forward and lands on me.

I manage to get him on his back and he grabs my hand. He looks over at Lara who is standing there holding the angel blade in shock. "Thank you Lara. Thank you so much. I couldn't do it anymore." He says weakly.

Lara falls down next to him and brushes the hair off his face. "I am so sorry Sam. I just did it. I wasn't thinking." She is about to get hysterical. Sam shakes his head no weakly. "You did the right thing." His hand goes out to her stomach and lays there. He looks at me. "You keep that little boy or girl safe. Don't let them make it what they want. Keep it away from them."

"Sam I am sorry. We never should have separated." I say trying not to cry. Sam smiles at me. "It's just what happened. I'm sorry I said yes. But everything is going to get better now. I love you Dean. You were always my best friend, my brother, and my father." He closes his eyes and the light spurts out completely and all that is left is his body on the ground with dark shadow wings spread out behind him.

"Sam?" Lara asks on the verge of a break down. She shakes his shoulders violently. "SAM!" She yells out has tears start to pour down her face. She looks at me. "Dean I am sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. I just did it. I am so sorry."

I reach out and touch her face. "It's alright Lara. You did what needed to be done. I couldn't do it and someone had to." I stand up and I grab her hand and pull her to her feet. "We need to run." I state. She gets up and pulls herself together and I help her out the window, on to the ledge and back down the ground. I have to keep her safe. She is carrying what might be the last part of Sam.

a/n so what do you think? Reviews appreciated!


	3. Chapter 3

Lara's POV

He hates me. Sam has been telling me for years that Dean would come and save me. He told me to be ready and to go with him when he came. Then what do I do? I kill Sam in front of Dean. Sam had made me promise to kill him if I got the chance. He made me promise him that every day he could. So I did what I promised to save the world but I may have lost the friendship of the only person I have ever wanted to know. I have listened to Sam's stories for years now. When I first meet him when Ruby was wearing me and again once I woke up. This is a nightmare.

I miss him though. I miss him a lot. I never thought I could ever grow to care about Sam Winchester. The man that haunted my dreams for years. The man that ripped the skin on my back leaving me with claw like scars. But I did grow to care about him. I grew to love him. Not a romantic love, but the kind of love I would feel towards a close friend or sibling. I didn't think it was possible but I did. He had been through so much and was misunderstood. He always did what he thought was right but you know what they say about the road to hell being paved with good intentions. When I woke up and saw him standing over me I thought I was going to die.

_Death is so wonderful. I have enjoyed being dead very much. It is peaceful. No demons possess me. I haven't stolen any souls and I'm not being passed around like a demon party favor. I somehow even got into heaven. I love lying in the grass looking up at the clouds while the sun warms my skin. _

_ "Lara!" My mom shouts for me. I roll over and smile at her. I am reunited with my family. I now know I was loved as a child. I always wondered what my life was like before I was taken and I finally know that it was beautiful. "Coming mom!" I shout. In heaven the soul can manifest into what it wants to. I have decided to relive my childhood. I look like a 5 year old currently._

_ I roll over and jump up running back to the house but I run into something. I fall back and look up. I can't make out any distinctive features it's just a mass. The mass looks down at me. "No so fast Lara, you're coming with me!" _

_ I scream as the mass grabs on to me and I pass out. I don't know how long I have been out but I wake up and I feel a bed beneath me. I moan and slowly open my eyes. I see a man hovering above me and it takes a moment for my mind to register who it is. "SAM!" I scream out trying to move out from under his gaze._

_ Sam starts to laugh and shake his head. "This is Sam's body but I am not Sam currently." He extends his hand but I ignore it. "I am Lucifer and I brought you back Lara. You are going to carry my child." _

_ "I am what?" I ask him slightly confused. Sam or I guess Lucifer sits down on the bed next to me and extends his hand to caress the side of my face I jerk my head and he drops his hand. "You are going to carry my child Lara just like you did for Sam all those years ago. You are going to be my little queen. You will lack for nothing. If you want something merely tell me and I will make sure you get it." _

_ "Let me go." I mutter pathetically. He smiles at me. "I am sorry but that is the one thing I cannot do. I do not want to hurt you. Once you give me a child I will let you raise the child in relative peace until I need him." I can't believe what he is saying. This sounds ridiculous._

_ Lucifer pushes me back on the back and starts to cover my body with his. I start to fight him but he grabs my hands and pulls them above my head. I then notice I am naked. Great he couldn't bring me back with at least a tshirt. "I will not hurt you Lara." Lucifer mumbles into my lips. _

"Lara?" Dean asks me shaking my shoulder. I shake of the memory of the first time Lucifer took me and look at Dean. I notice I am crying and move my hand to wipe away my tears. "I am so sorry Dean. I know what Sam meant to you. He would talk about you all the time." After a few months of Lucifer using my body Sam learned how to take over his body in small increments. He was able to keep Lucifer from sleeping with me often after that. Lucifer allowed Sam to take control over his body for a few hours a week thinking if he appeased him he would stop fighting him. Sam spent all his time with me when he was free. We became friends, best friends, and he told me all about Dean.

Dean smiles at me but it doesn't reach his eyes. I can tell he wants to cry but if what Sam said was correct he won't cry in front of me. "I haven't seen in him a long time." He replies sadly.

"He loved you very much Dean and I am sorry I killed him. I know you raised him and I took him away. I am so sorry. He made me promise to kill him. I understand if you can't stand to look at me. You got me out of that place and that is all I will ask of you. We can go our own ways in the morning." I reply on the verge of a break down. I can feel the panic taking over my body.

We had been running for what feels like hours and I am exhausted. I start to shake and my body just gives way underneath me. Dean catches me and carries me inside of a house we had been running by. He lays me down on the couch and does a quick check of the house and carries me up stairs to the bedroom and lays me down on the bed. He starts to dig through the dresser in the bedroom and throws me a tshirt and sweat pants. "You might want to change. You're freezing and you should rest in your condition."

I had almost forgotten what I was wearing. Lucifer liked to keep me in attractive outfits hoping that it would make Sam attracted to me enough not to fight him when he would lay with me. I am wearing a short black dress and ballet flats. I grab the tshirt and sweats and change in the bathroom. When I come back out Dean has a fire going and wraps a blanket around me and ushers me to the bed. "Lara I understand why you did what you did. I do not blame you and I do not hate you."

I lean my head against his chest. I feel so comfortable with him. I guess it's all the stories Sam had told me about him over the years. "It's alright if you do. I understand. I hate myself right now too." I feel the tears coming down my face again. I don't even bother to wipe the off.

Dean grabs my face and wipes the tears away with shirt sleeve. "Why do you hate yourself?" He asks me. I frown and my hand covers my stomach. "Sam was my first friend, ever, and I killed him. He might be the father of my child and I killed him. He was kind to me and I killed him. He fought Lucifer for me every day and killed him." The panic starts to take over me again and I start to sob. Dean doesn't say anything just holds me and lets me cry into his shoulder. I don't know how long I have been breaking down but I slowly start to regain control over my breathing and stop crying.

"You did what he asked you to do. You did what I couldn't do. You set him free Lara. That was the best thing a friend could do." Dean stands up. "I am going to go see if there are any canned foods downstairs. You need to eat and then we need to get some sleep. It's a long trek back to the camp but I think we will safe here for the night."

I lie back down and look at the bedside table. There is woman, a man, a teenage girl, and a young boy smiling back at me in the photo. They must be dead now, more casualties to Lucifer's apocalypse. I relax in the pillows until Dean comes back up. He has two bottles of water and dish with what looks like canned peaches in it. He puts the bottles of water down and hands me the bowl of peaches. I take one whiff of the food and I feel my stomach rebel against me. I get up and run to the bathroom making it to the toilet in time to puke. Dean is immediately behind me. "Sorry I have really bad morning sickness." I say between my gags.

Dean starts to chuckle behind me and mutters something that sounds like. "I knew something was off with her." Once I stop vomiting Dean helps me up and gets me back to the bed. I eat the peaches and fall back into the covers and go to sleep.

_Lucifer is back again. He can't stop coming to my room. He says he will stop once I give him a child but the thought of procreating with him makes me ill. "Lara." He says softly, almost sweetly, as he moves back the blankets to my bed and gets in next to me. He insists I sleep naked and as gone so far as to remove all clothing from my room. He has a demon leave clothing out for me every morning and take it away from me every night. I tense immediately. "I know you are awake Lara. It is time for you to do your duty." _

_ I don't mean to but I start to cry. "Now what are those tears Lara? Have I ever hurt you? Is there a reason to cry?" He asks me. I shake my head no. In reality he has never hurt me, not like those men I was whored out to on a regular basis did. He isn't violent with me but he isn't kind either. He likes it a bit rough and it scares me. _

_ I have long since stopped trying to fight him. I know it is futile and ends up with me just hurting myself. I punched him once but all I did was break my own hand. "Why did you bring me back with my scars?" I ask him as the thought comes to my mind._

_ Lucifer flips me over on my back and kisses the long scarred over skin. I want to vomit. I hate him touching me like this. "They are part of you Lara. They give you character." I shudder at the feelings of his tongue on my back. _

_ "Please don't. I don't want to tonight." I say weakly into my pillow. He laughs and continues to kiss my back. "Just relax it will be over in a few minutes." I shut my eyes and bury my head as deep in my pillow as it can go. It will be over soon. _

_ He mounts me from behind and I try to go somewhere else, anywhere else. The body pounding into me starts to shake. That's not normal. I move my head slightly and look behind me. His face is contorted. "Lara!" It gasps out. He jumps back and I roll over bringing the covers up over me. "It's me Sam. I am not going to hurt you." He says then he steps back wincing in pain. "I can't let him do this. The child would be evil." He barely gets out before Lucifer takes back over his body. He looks angry. _

_ I've never seen this side of Lucifer. I know he is the devil but I have never seen him look at me like he really is the devil. "Where were we?" He asks with a smiles on his lips. He crosses the room quickly and rips off the blanket covering my shaking body. "I will not be denied what I want Lara." He says pushing me back and plunging into me. I cry out in pain but he doesn't stop. _

"Wake up Lara!" Dean shouts shaking my shoulders. I come too and look over at him as the sun comes through the windows. "There you go. Easy now, calm down." He says to me while I wake up. I look around the room still a bit confused. "You're safe, I got you."

It takes me awhile to calm down but I manage to regain control of my breathing. Dean gets up and heads downstairs to raid the kitchen one more time. He gives me a duffel bag he found in the closet and tells me to collect anything I need. The teenage of the house was close to my size so I am able to raid her closet. I grab a few pieces of clothing from the mom's closet to for when I start to get bigger. I doubt I will have access to clothes back at the camp Dean talks about.

I come down the stairs feelings more comfortable in a pair of jeans, a sweatshirt, and sneakers. I hated dressing up like Lucifer's whore. He passes me bowl of oatmeal. He must have boiled the water over the fire while I was getting ready. I eat it slowly hoping my stomach doesn't rebel against me. I realize we haven't talked about the child yet. I touch my stomach gently and look up at him and he is looking at my stomach as well. "Dean, I…"

He stops me. "It doesn't matter Lara. It's Sam's." He states sure of himself. That's enough for me for now. I just hope it is Sam's and not the anti Christ.

a/n so how do you guys like it? This one won't be a very long story but I will wrap it up with no loose ends.


	4. Chapter 4

Dean's POV

It's getting dark and I need to get her to safety. It isn't safe out here during the day and it's even worse at night. We have been running all day and Lara is starting to slow down. She's exhausted and I feel guilty. I shouldn't be making a pregnant woman travel like this. It can't be good for the baby. Lara comes to abrupt stop and crumbles over. "I can't Dean. I'm sorry. I just can't." She coughs out. I back track and rub my hand over her back.

"I understand. Come on let's take a break." I say putting my arm around her shoulder. I guide her towards a tree and help her sit down so she can lay back. We sit there in a silence but the quiet is broken but the rumbling of a truck. I put my hand up to motion to Lara to stay quiet.

The truck gets closer and closer and I'm getting nervous. It could be anyone or anything. As the truck gets closer I let out a sigh of relief. It's just Cas. I stand up and wave my hand at him. The window is down and I can smell the familiar smell of weed pouring out of the window. He definitely is something else. He pulls up and turns the truck off and gives me a carefree wave.

Cas jumps out of the truck and waves for me to follow him. "I'll be right back. He is a friend just wait here a moment." I tell Lara who is still catching her breath. She gives me a confused glance but lets me go.

I follow Cas and once we are out of hearing distance he starts to talk. "Gabriel came back to collect Lara." Before I can say anything he puts his hand up to silence me. "He erased the camps memory of her so no one would be confused when you brought a new Lara into the camp. He also left us a fuck ton more supplies. Even furniture the sick bastard." Cas says with a laugh. He hands me a letter addressed to me. "Their Lara wrote this for you."

I rip it open and read it in the failing sunlight.

_Dear Dean,_

_ I can never thank you for keeing my baby and me safe these last few months. I know this is has been confusing and at times painful for you. I can only imagine what it would have been like for me to have a version of you plopped in my lap that has some wonderful life with my other self that I can't comprehend. So I thank you for your kindness and understanding. _

_ I know that you will find your Lara here. I want to give you some advice to for dealing with her, well me. We are damaged Dean, like really damaged. We have been through things no human should ever be exposed too. We have horrible nightmares and simple things elude us. When I got out I was incapable of taking care of myself. I had never been to a grocery store, I had never cooked, I never went to a clothing store, I had only been used by demons. You need to help her adjust to the world because we never experienced it. _

_ Be careful at night. Do no leave her alone our dreams are terrifying. Make sure to wake her up and make sure she feels safe. It will get better but it won't go away. Dean can't keep them from coming but he can help me wake up from them and let know I am safe and no longer living in that hell. _

_ We are soul mates Dean. Whatever world or universe we are in Dean and Lara belong together. Don't waste too much time before telling her how you feel. Be honest and don't try to be a tough guy. She will be in love with you too. Dean and I waited so long and we almost lost each other. Take fate by the balls and have the life you deserve and she deserves. _

_ Take care of Cas too. He seems carefree here but he is hurting. The only reason he does all the drugs and has the orgies is because he doesn't know how to cope with this new human experience. Be the friend to him you used to be._

_ Thank you again for all you have done for me and John. Especially singing him Metallica. _

_Love _

_Lara_

I look up at Cas and he gives me an expectant look. I know he wants to read the letter to but it's for me and me alone. "Sam is dead Cas. So is your brother." I don't want to elaborate right now. Cas looks at me with a rare moment of clarity. He knows I am not ready to talk about it yet. "You want to meet her? She's your daughter or something right?"

"Technically she is Jimmy's daughter and I watched over her until she was taken." Cas says blandly. He follows me back to the tree where Lara is currently sitting.

She stands up when she sees us and walks over to me. "Lara this is Cas. He used to be an angel but all the angels have gone now and he's human now."

Lara studies him before saying anything. "I know you. I don't know how but I remember you. You meant something to me." She wistfully says her eyes slightly glazing over as she thinks through her memoires trying to place the stoned out angel next to me. Cas smiles at her and extends his hand to help her stand. "This vessel is your birth father Lara. His name is Jimmy Novak. I was one of your guardians. Obviously we didn't do such a great job since you were taken. We were very close when you were a child." Lara seems in awe and she goes with him to the truck.

"Where are we going?" She asks once we have all climbed in and Cas has already driven away. "We are going back to our camp. It's safe there I promise." Cas explains. Lara's hands instinctively flutters to her stomach covering her baby protectively.

"Where will we stay?" She asks us almost in a panic. I soften my expression and grab her hand. "You will stay with me. I will keep you both safe." Cas looks at me and his eyes look from her to me trying to figure out what I mean by you both. "She's pregnant Cas."

"With whose baby?" He screeches out. Drugged up Cas is not a sensitive Cas. "With Sa…" Lara tries to disagree with me but I refuse to listen. "With Sam's child."

"Your bother Sam has fathered a child with her?"He croaks out. I smile and rest my hand over her womb for the first time. "Yes the last part of my baby brother is in her."

Cas smiles and flicks his joint out the window after I give him a dirty look about smoking in the truck with Lara who is also pregnant. "Well that is lovely. Oh by the way I kicked Chuck out of his cabin and have it ready for you two. I figured if you found her you'd want to keep her as safe as possible with you. So I got you a bigger cabin so you'd each have your own room. I also took first dibs on the furniture that…..we found for you guys too. Don't worry everyone got new stuff so now one can bitch." I am glad he didn't mention Gabriel. I don't know how much we should tell her yet. She has been through so much already. I will need to talk to Cas about it just not tonight.

Lara falls asleep on the drive to the camp and when we pull up I have to slightly jostle her to get her awake. She wakes up with a start and calms down when I grab her shoulder. "It's fine, we are here." I tell her. Cas drives to the gate and they let us in.

Luckily the camp is quiet when we pull in. It's late and most people have gone to bed. I didn't want her to feel overwhelmed by people if I could avoid it. There are few people milling around when we come in and I tell them that I found a survivor and brought her back. I need to talk to Cas before I decide what to tell the camp about Lucifer being dead. About my brother being dead…

I grab the bag that Lara packed at the house we stayed at last night and guide her to our new home. I hadn't really paid attention to Chuck's cabin before but I am glad that Cas kicked him out. It's a lot bigger I can tell that just from the outside. I head in and there is a decent looking sofa in the middle of the room with a coffee table hell there is even a rug. I turn around to look for Cas. "You weren't kidding when you said he brought supplies were you." I say with a smirk.

Cas lets out a laugh and brings his unlit joint to his lips. I wouldn't let him smoke in the car because of Lara and the baby but I can see now that we are back and he is on the porch he wants to light up again. "What can I say? My bro said he wanted his little brother to have some semblance of a decent life now that the threat is gone." I chuckle I don't give a fuck why he did it I am just glad he did. Cas points to the room to the left. "I set your room up in there Dean. Lara yours is over there." Cas says pointing to the room to the right of the living room.

She gives me a scared look and I take her bag into her room. It looks nice, well not nearly as glamorous as the room Lucifer had for her at his mansion but it's nicer than anything we have had in this camp for years. There is an antique white four poster bed with a heavenly looking mattress with a nice new quilt on it. There is even a matching side table and dresser. "Shit Cas." I say quietly. He grabs my shoulder and laughs.

"Well you guys need to settle in. I'll get someone to bring you guys some food since dinner is long over. I'll see you tomorrow." Cas leaves the room and I can hear him chuckling to himself the rest of the way back to his cabin.

"Is this room really mine?" Lara asks quietly. I smile and drop her bag on the bed. "Apparently. We can go through some of the supplies tomorrow and see what we can find you in the way of clothing. I don't know what you got from that house."

Lara smiles and takes a seat on the bed. "I got enough. Don't worry about it." She looks around nervously then she looks up at me. "You'll be just across the hall right?" She asks me wringing her hands together.

I shake my head yes. "I will be just across the hall. We can keep the doors open tonight. If you need something just holler. We don't have plumbing the cabins. We have a bathing house set up that was once the camps shower room and there is flushing toilets there too. Most people keep chamber pots in their room for night time and I assume Cas left you one. But if you want I can take you down there tonight so you know where it is." I almost feel guilty taking her out of that nice mansion now. I have communal showers and chamber pots to offer someone who had been living in the lap of luxury.

Lara smirks. "You can show me tomorrow. Don't worry I still remember my time enough in the body farm to know how to survive without running water." The other Lara had told me about her time at the body farm and I assume this Lara experienced the same thing. Luxury is nothing something this girl is used too.

"Also we have one communal mess hall. This was a summer camp so none of the cabins have kitchens. We have a generator and most all the cabins have some electricity but at night we tend to ues mostly candles so we don't waste too much of it." I throw her a pack of matches and note that Cas has set up candles around her room. For a stoner he is pretty thoughtful sometimes.

Before I can leave Lara jumps up and gives me a tight hug. "Thanks Dean." I look down at her ready to tell her it was nothing. "No, really Dean thank you. I never thought I would make it out of there. Thank you for everything." Then she lets go of me and starts to unpack her stolen goods.

I walk to my room and let out another chuckle when I see how much my life has improved in the a few days I have been gone. Long gone are the crappy cots with shitty mattresses. I have a king size sleigh bed with a real mattress that looks just as good as the one that Lara has in her room. I look up at the sky. Hell it even looks likes all my shit from my cabin has made it here and is in boxes next to the dresser. "Thanks Gabe you sick bastard." I say with a laugh. For the first time in years I fall asleep with hope.

a/n sorry I haven't updated this story in like forever but I got to it! I will do a few more chapters just to finish their tale up.


	5. Chapter 5

Lara's POV

These past months have been the most wonderful months of my life. I am free. Completely and utterly free. I don't have to do what some demon wants and I can go and come as I please, well within reason. I can't leave the camp because of the demons and croats running around but why would I want to leave? This is like heaven all over again.

I love my new home. I have never had a room that felt like mine. I had my cell which I was forced into and I had my room at Lucifer's that I was forced into. This home is mine. Dean has let me do what I want to it. He even helped me move the sofa around to a flow I liked better.

Dean is more amazing that Sam ever told me. He is kind, friendly, loyal, and yes he is gorgeous. I can't help but blush when I think of him sometimes. I know some of the ladies here don't like me. They give me nasty looks and I have gleaned from others that he used to be a bit loose with the ladies but to me he has been nothing but proper. I kind of wish he would stop being so proper but then I look down at my very swollen abdomen and stop that line of thought. He will never want me, could never want me. Your pregnant with his brothers or the devils baby. He is a kind man but when it comes down to it he is kind because you might be carrying his brother's child. I may not have chosen this path but I am nothing more than a common whore. He's never made me feel like that but I'm not totally stupid. I know what I am to him and I can accept that. I will take whatever I can from him.

"Lara?!" Dean yells out from outside out cabin. I push myself up off the couch and walk to the porch. I have been moving much slower lately. I am near my due date and it's hard to move fast. Dean is carrying something in his arms and I smile at him. "What do you have there?" I ask him. The baby kicks in my stomach and I lower my hand to rub it so it knows I am here.

Dean just smiles and moves past me into our cabin back towards my room. I follow him and Cas comes up behind me, I didn't even see him out there, with more things. He drops off some stuff and walks back out. He looks less stoned than normal and he has a carefree smile on his face. Slowly yet surly he has been doing less drugs. When I first got here he was always smoking or drinking something but now it's just a few times a day. "Dean what are you doing?" It looks like he is putting something together. Him and Cas went out yesterday and I have been missing them something terrible. I have gotten so used to have them both around that I felt slightly lost without them. Dean watches over me and makes sure I am adjusting and learning how to live free like this. He keeps his bedroom door open every night so he can hear me and wake me up before my memoires get to bad. To be honest he usually ends up sleeping in my room after I wake up the first time so I sometimes wonder why we bother with two beds. Or why he bothers sleeping in his bed to start with. Cas is quickly becoming one of my best friends. No one could ever replace Sam but he is more than I could ever have hoped for as a friend.

"You are so close to your due date and I realized you didn't have any proper nursery stuff. So Cas and I decided to get what you needed." His smile is so huge and genuine that I can't help but break into one myself. Right then the baby in my stomach kicks happily and my hand flutters to my stomach.

"Dean quick!" I exclaim happily grabbing his hand to my stomach. "The baby likes it. Thank you." I say looking into his eyes. After everything he has done for me he has earned my respect, my gratitude, and somewhere along the way he earned my heart. I would do anything to make him smile because when he is happy I am happy. He has never once gotten mad at me for killing Sam and has never raised his voice or hands to me. Apparently those are things women should expect but not me. Those things alone make him special in my book

"This little guy has a strong set of legs." He says kind of wistfully. I know that besides his mom he has never spent much time around a pregnant woman. "Yeah you should try sleeping when they are kicking." I say with a laugh.

Cas comes back in with another load of supplies. "How are we going to get all of this to fit in here?" I ask. Dean meets Cas' gaze and starts to turn red. I don't think I have ever seen him flustered before.

I move to sit down on the bed while Dean and Cas fight out whatever silent battle they are having with their eyes. Finally Dean looks at me and gives me a nervous laugh. "Well I was thinking and well…" He rubs the back of his neck like he does when he is nervous and I sit their patiently. "Most nights we end up sharing a bed anyways. Why don't we turn this room into a nursery and we can just take my room."

I know I must look like a fool. I can feel my jaw and it's wide open in shock. Dean immediately moves to me. "I'm sorry that was inappropriate we don't have too. We can turn a corner of the living room or I could find us a bigger cabin or I could..."I raise my hand to his lips to silence him and smile.

"No Dean I like the idea. It just took me by surprise that is all. Every night you end up with me anyways so why not skip the step of you getting out of bed." He relaxes and stands back up to start moving some of the baby things they brought into the room. "Do you have room in your room for my things?" I don't have much but I don't want to take over his room.

"Of course. I don't have much so there is plenty of drawer space. We'll just put the bedroom set in one of the empty cabins for whenever the baby gets older and needs a grown up bedroom. Why don't you show me what you need moved out and Cas and I can start tearing it down."

"I can get my stuff out." I say opening my drawers to move my meager possessions. Dean puts his hands over mine. "You shouldn't be working too hard."

I nudge him with my hip. "Dean I'm just moving some clothes that isn't going to push me over the edge. Besides half my birthing team is in the room with me!" He knows I won't budge so he doesn't push it. I am a bit more nervous about giving birth than I am willing to let on. There is one nurse here but she doesn't like me very much. I think she used to sleep with Dean and since I got here no one has been sleeping with Dean but me. Even if it is in the most innocent of ways. Cas says he knows enough about the human anatomy to be of assistance so they both plan on helping me through it. It's better than giving birth in cell 6 though. Anything is better than that place.

We worked together all afternoon and by early evening Dean and Cas had the crib and changing table set up. I brushed my hands over the furniture happily and walk up to Dean and give him the best hug I can give. "Thank you so much for this." I can't seem to put everything into the thank you I wanted without getting teary eyed. Pregnancy is killer on the hormones. Dean just smiles and kisses the top of my head. "If you go through the bags you should find some baby stuff to decorate the room with."

I don't know how they got this stuff or where they got this stuff but I am glad they did. I want my baby to have a happy nursery. I want my baby to have the childhood I didn't. "How did you guys find all this stuff? You didn't go anywhere to dangerous did you?" I am starting to get worried. Even though I know they have made it back safe I hate the idea of them putting themselves at risk for me.

Dean chuckles and continues to build a bookcase they got. "We went to the Target in town. No one has ever ransacked the baby section before so it was an in and out job. Not only that we have gone there frequently enough that we know it's safe there."

I look to Cas to make sure the story checks out and he smiles at me. "It was completely safe Lara nothing to worry about. We were fast and we didn't even run into a demon or croat. We just wanted you t o have these things."

They are safe and that is all that really matters. I am glad to hear that nothing bad happened. I dig through the bags of stuff they brought me and start to organize the clothing by gender and size. I know it is silly but if it's a girl I want her to wear cute pink dresses and if it's a boy little blue sets. Every night before bed I pray that the baby is Sam's and not Lucifer's. I don't know what we will do if the baby is Lucifer's. With him dead can it even be the antichrist? I already have names picked out but I don't want to tell Dean yet. I worry they will make him sad.

I hear Cas moving around behind me and he nudges Dean. I am quickly spun around and Dean puts one arm around me and another on my stomach. "Smile!" Cas says with a crocked grin and before I can say anything I smile out of instinct, decades of doing exactly what you are told are hard to break, and a flash goes off. A slip of paper comes out of the machine that flashed and Dean gives my shoulders a shrug. "I found something else for you Lara. So you can take pictures of the baby. Cas even found extra film."

"What is it?" I ask stupidly. Cas smiles and hands me the piece of a paper and I see an image developing on it. "It's a camera?" I say with a smile. Dean kisses my temple and Cas puts the camera down on the dresser. I watch the photo develop and it looks so happy. I am smiling and I notice that Dean's hands are resting over mine over the baby. His arm is draped over my shoulder and he has me pulled into his side. If I didn't know better and just saw the image I might believe that we were a husband and wife doing our nursery for our first born. But we're not. I put the image on the dresser and give Dean a hug. "Thank you Dean." I whisper into his ear.

"Don't mention it. I want my little niece or nephews life to be well documented!" He turns around and goes back to building the changing table and I look back at the picture. It's the first photograph I have ever had taken of me that I know of.

I notice there is another photo on the table as well. I pick it up and look at the familiar face. Sam. He's young in the picture. He might even still be in high school and he's leaning against a black car looking out into the distance. "Dean?" I ask him holding the picture up. I know I am about to cry. I just miss him so much sometimes. He was my best friend and I killed him.

"I thought a picture of Sam in the nursery would be good so that he could watch over his baby." He responds softly. I can hear the tears in his voice begging to break free. I cross the room and awkwardly hug him. "This is the perfect spot for Sammy to watch over his baby. Is this the only picture you have of Sam?"

He shakes his head yes. I pull him to me closer. "Are you sure you don't want to keep it in your room?"

"Yeah I want him in here." I know better than to try to convince him otherwise. I tuck the picture into the mirror frame on the wall so that he will have a good view of the room. I wish he was here.

After a few hours I hear the dinner bell and we all look up surprised at how much time has passed. It feels like it has only been an hour or so but in reality it has been like five. Time goes fast when you are having fun they say and now I get it.

"Come on Lara let's get you feed." Dean says grabbing my hand and guiding me out of the cabin. He does sweet things like that sometimes. He'll grab my hand and slow his pace to mine while we walk to our meals or he will steady me if I get a bit off balanced. I've fallen in love with him. I know he could never love me but I can be content to just be his friend. It is enough for me to be happy and complete.

Per usual I get some nasty stares from some of the more beautiful women in the camp when we enter. He ushers me to the line and puts his hand protectively on the small of my back and helps me load my tray. I want to yell at the women that I haven't done anything but I know how this looks to them. Besides to Cas the first day I got here Dean refuses to talk about the father of my child. People have asked and he just shrugs it off with a wink. Everyone thinks that he found me on the way back from killing Lucifer/Sam and that we hooked up and I got pregnant. Quite honestly I am fine to allow them to believe that. If they knew I might be carrying the antichrist God only knows how they would actually react.

Some of the men pat Dean's back when they think I am not looking and raze him a bit about getting me knocked up. He takes it well and lets them think whatever they want to about our relationship . I know he is doing it to protect me and my child, possibly his niece or nephew, but I worry it is changing his life to much. I hate to think that because of me some girl he really liked broke up with him. Cas has told me that isn't the case and that before I came here Dean wasn't exclusive to any one woman in the camp. In fact he may have been with every woman in the camp at one point or another. If what any of what those women say behind my back is true. I have made some friends though. Some of the married women and the teenagers have been quite receptive of me. I have joined their sewing circles and help out in the kitchen whenever possible. I want to be has helpful has I can in this community.

Dean ushers me to table and I sit between him and Cas. The table is immediately filled with all of their closest friends or men at arms I guess. Like most meals I get lost in the shuffle of the conversation but I am more than comfortable with that. I like to listen to everyone talk around me. Every so often Dean will touch my arm and whisper something for just me to hear and that is all I need to feel included.

After dinner we head back to our cabin and Cas heads back to his to do things that only Cas can seem to get away with. I have heard jokes at the dinner table about other man trying to start an orgy here and how badly that fared for them. They now leave all the crazy stuff to Cas, mostly.

We work in happy silence for a bit longer after we get back. Bedtime tends to be early here because we try to rise and sleep with the sun. It helps save the generators. I hang up the baby animal mobile that they found for me and wind it up once to hear it play a cheerful lullaby. I make the bed while the song finishes. "Your baby is going to be very happy here." Dean says while I put a stuffed bear in the crib. He comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist and lays his hand on my stomach so he can feel the baby kicking while he rests his chin on my head. I never feel safer or better than when he holds me.

"My baby is going to have a wonderful life here. What are we going to tell the baby you are to it?" I haven't asked this question yet. But we are so close to the due date and everyone in the camp thinks it is his baby. I can feel him tense behind me. "What do you want to tell the baby?"

What I wish more than anything is that the baby was his child. But that isn't an option. Sometimes I like to fantasize about just that. I like to imagine how it would have been different if I had meet Dean under normal circumstances and we were just a normal couple excited about their first born. Then the apocalypse comes crashing down and the fact that we aren't even a couple. "Dean I would like you to be whatever you want to be to these child. If you want to be just the baby's leader that is fine. If you want to be an uncle the baby will love that." I pause for a moment. I look up at him through my eye lashes and I get ready to say something under any other circumstances I wouldn't dare. If he reacts poorly I won't have to admit that I wish he was the father I can just say it's because everyone already thinks you are. "If you want to be the baby's father I know you would do a wonderful job. I don't want to tell you what you can and can't be to the baby. "

An emotion I can't recognize flashes over Dean's face and he breaks into a grin. Before he can open his mouth to respond I crumble over in pain. Then there is a wet feeling. He is immediately at my side putting an arm around my back. "Lara are you alright?" He asks me nervously.

I am hit with another contraction and I try to breath in. "Dean it's time. The baby is coming." I say through the pain. He picks me up and carries me out of the cabin. We pass someone on our way to the medical cabin which is one of the few cabins with running water and he shouts at them to get Cas. I can't focus on where we are going all I can think about is the contractions that are hitting me.

Time seems to speed up and slow down all at once. Dean gets me to the makeshift hospital bed and lays me out on it. He puts pillows behind me trying to make me as comfortable has he can. "I need help getting these pants off." I say weakly before my next contraction hits. I don't know much about birth but I remember a bit about the first one I experienced in cell 6 when after hours the captured nurse pulled out my dead baby.

Dean immediately helps me slide out of my pants. I lift up and wince has another contraction hits. Once it passes Dean helps me lean back down into the pillows behind me. I hear the door open and I look up to see Cas coming in. "Where is Jane?" Dean barks out nervously. Cas just shrugs his shoulders and comes to stand between my legs at the end of the bed. "Lara I don't want you worry about anything. I can do this and they are looking for Jane. She is probably with some male suitor at the moment." I shake my head in understanding.

"I'll go look for her." Dean hisses out. I grab his hand quickly. "Please don't go Dean. I need you." I beg him.

His face softens and he nods his head and leans down and kisses my forehead already slick with sweat. "Don't worry I am not going anywhere." I relax until I am hit with another contraction. I let out a scream and Cas moves quickly to examine the situation.

Hours later and Jane is still nowhere to be found. I don't know if she purposely making this difficult because she hates me or if she is really just having a nice evening with a guy in some random cabin. Dean keeps taking her name in vain but I know Cas is doing a good job even if my body is refusing to make his job easy. I can tell by the look on Cas' face that he is worried. Dean is trying to keep that worry from affecting me but I can see their silent conversations clearly enough to know I am in danger, I just hope my baby isn't in danger too.

"Dean?" I ask hoarsely. Dean grabs a cup of water next to me and brings it to my lips and I take a small sip and in a moment I am screaming out in pain has my body tries to push my baby out. Once it passes I lean back into the pillows too weak to sit up any more. "I know I have no right to ask this but please take care of my baby."

His face goes from shocked to angry. "You are going to be fine you hear me? We will both be taking care of this baby together. I don't want to hear another word about it." The leader side of him comes out and I know he effectively just gave me an order to live.

"Just promise me you will take care of the my baby." I sound weak and once I know he will take care of the life in me I can relax and just let nature take its course. Dean leans down and kisses my forehead softly. "I promise you that I will take care of your baby but like I said we will be taking care of this baby together. It's just taking after Sammy and is probably huge."

I smile at him weakly. That is all I needed to know. Regardless of what happens I know my baby will be alright. "I have an answer for you." He tells me with a small grin on his face. I look at him confused. "I want to be the baby's father if you'll let me." He tells me quietly.

For a moment the room seems to fade along with Cas and the fact I am in labor and it's just Dean and I. "Really?" I ask him sounding happier and more alive than I have in hours.

He shakes his head yes and grabs my hand bringing it to his lips. "Yes I want to be this baby's father. I want to raise it with you and Lara... I..." He stops for a moment and looks down at me softly. "I love you Lara and if you'll have me I want you too."

"Yes!" I say with as much excitement has my exhausted body can muster. "I love you too Dean and I have wanted you so bad for so long. Yes I want all that too." Dean face breaks out into the biggest smile I have ever seen and he leans down and kisses my lips softly. Its more than I could ever have imagined.

Then my body is hit by another painful contraction and I scream out. "Come on Lara you need to push." Cas demands from between my legs. "Sit up and push Lara!"

I struggle to sit up but I just don't have the strength. Dean lets go of my hand and I look at him frantically worried he is going to leave the room. He gives me a reassuring smile and helps push me forward and slides in behind me on the bed. Dean helps me sit up and once I am up enough for Cas he pulls me back into his chest. He lays his hands softly on my stomach. "Come on Lara lets get this baby out." He whispers into my ear.

The contractions are almost back to back now and another one hits my body trying to push my baby out. "Come on Lara you are so close just push for me!" Cas tells me. I push back into Dean and push with all my might. The pressure seems to alleviate immediately. "Good Lara the head is out. It's all easy from here. Just keep pushing."

I don't stop and just keep pushing. I let out a scream has I make the final push. Then there is a moment of silence. Followed by the cries of my baby. "Cas please whose baby is it?" I cry out. I don't know what I will do if he tells me Lucifer.

Dean tenses behind me and I feel him kiss the back of my head. "It doesn't matter Lara. No matter whose child that is I will raise the baby like it was my own." He whispers into my ear. I lean back into him and let my body relax.

Cas picks up the baby and cuts the cord and I see him visually looking all over the baby. Cas told me if the baby is the anti Christ there will be a mark on its body. Cas brings the baby over to me and lays it in my arms. "It is Sam's Lara and you both are the proud parents of a little girl." He tells me with a smile.

I look down at the small life in my arms. It's Sam's! Oh thank you God, thank you so much. I pray silently. I take quick stock of the little baby girl, my little baby girl, in my arms. She has 10 perfect little fingers and 10 perfect little toes. She has quite the set of lungs on her. I weakly bring her forehead to my lips to kiss. "I am so glad to finally meet you Samantha." I say quietly into the little fuzz on my baby girls head.

Dean gasps and I feel him grab on to me tighter. I turn my head weakly to the side and look at him. "Is that alright?" I ask him. I can see the tears in his eyes. I know if I ask him about it later he will deny it though. He smiles and leans forward to kiss my lips for the second time. He kisses them softly and I can feel him smile into them. "It is perfect." He then looks down at the bundle in my arms. "Hello little Sammy. I am so excited to finally get to meet you. I am going to be your daddy but I promise you that I will tell you all about your real daddy, my brother Sam, when you are older." He couldn't have said anything more perfect.

"Lara I need to sew you back up. Why don't you give Dean Samantha and lay back and relax." Cas tells me. I almost forgot he was still here. Dean slips out from behind me and takes the baby from my arms. I reluctantly let her go but I know I need too.

There is a loud commotion at the door and I roll my head to the left to see what is going on and Jane comes bursting through the door. "Oh my god Lara I am so sorry. They just found me. I am so sorry." She runs to Cas and leans down next to him and I see her addressing the situation. I see her eyes darken and I know something is wrong. Dean notices it too because he looks at her with his steely glare. "What is wrong."

Jane looks up at Dean and I can see she is nervous. "Don't worry Lara will be fine. She just needs to time to heal." Jane looks at me with uncharacteristic compassion. "But Lara I don't think you will be able to have any more children."

I look at Dean and he smiles kindly at me. "Don't worry about that right now. Just relax and let them work on you. We will worry about everything else later. All that matters is you getting better." He leans down and kisses me again. That alone makes me want to get better. I have wanted him to kiss me for so long and now he is.

"Why don't you and Cas clean up the baby while I fix up Lara." Jane suggests. I see the battle in Dean's eyes. He promised me he'd stay with me and he has stayed true to that promise. "Get her cleaned up." I tell him.

They walk over to my right and I hear the water pipes clink has it starts to pour out. Samantha starts to cry I take it she is not to thrilled with her first bath time.

Once Jane is done sewing me back together she checks my vitals. She looks a bit nervous and looks at Cas. "She lost a lot of blood." She says quietly. I know she is worried. Cas nods his head and looks down at me. Dean seems to be lost in the awesomeness that is Samantha. "Dean has her blood type." Cas suggests. I start to shake my head no but I don't seem to have the energy and everything goes black.

a/n so what do you all think? It will be over soon I don't want this to be long one just long enough to tie up loose ends.


	6. Chapter 6

Dean's POV

Please let her wake up. She has been asleep for nearly 10 hours now. Maybe sleep isn't the best term for it. Passed out? Nearly bleed out? God don't take her from me. I should have done what the other Lara told me. She told me not to wait too long because it could be too late. She told me that my Lara was in love me and that I needed to just man up and tell her. And what do I do? I sit by and wait through 9 months of perfect moments and wait until she is already 12 hours in labor and clearly exhausted and quite possibly near death.

BUT the look on her face when I told her I loved her and wanted her was worth it all. I was worried she would push me away and tell me to leave. Instead her face lit up and I knew she felt the same way for me. I forgot all the reasons I haven't told her in the past and just focused on the look on her face. She loves me too and she wants a life with me.

Only now it might be too late. There might not be a life for us. She lost a lot of blood. I donated what I could and Cas volunteered saying Jimmy has his daughters blood type but to be honest I am not willing to risk it. He has shared a lot of needles and a lot women. I don't know if he has some crazy disease that could be given to Lara. It's a horrible thing to say or to think but I couldn't risk it. So I gave more than I should have and have been recovering since.

Then there is a little Samantha. What a perfect baby. I have checked every inch of her for the marking. Cas said if she was the anti christ there would a 666 mark on her, but he is not worried now that he has looked over her thoroughly. I have looked over her and she is definitely Sam's. She is the last part of my brother and I will die to keep her safe. I will not fail her like I failed Sam. She is my way to make it up to him.

Poor Samantha is so hungry. We had some formula stored up and I made her a bottle a few time but she doesn't want it. I know she knows that there is a better source of food just a few feet away passed out in bed but I can't rouse her. She needs her rest.

Samantha is currently curled up in my arms with her little hands in her face. She has been moving around and making little crying sounds. I hear a sound behind me and I see Cas standing there with another bottle. "She is probably going to be hungry soon." He says has he hands me the bottle. I take it and test the liquid on my inner arm. It's not too hot. I support her head and give her the bottle that Cas just gave me. She drinks it greedily and she slowly drifts off to sleep. I pull her up on my shoulder and rub her back and let her lay there has she sleeps.

There is a slight movement on the bed and I try not to move too much because I don't want to disturb Samantha. Lara is moving slightly and I watch her has her eyes slowly open. She looks around the room and I can tell she is a bit confused. Her hands flutter to her now flat stomach and she does a quick inspection of the room. "My baby?" She asks quietly sounding alarmed.

I stand up slowly and walk over to Lara. I help her sit up on the in bed and I gently hand her Samantha. "She's right here. Just took a bottle and she is taking a nap." Lara takes her into her arms and looks over her. Lara's smile gets bigger has she looks over her daughter. "She's beautiful Dean." She tells me not taking her eyes off of Samantha.

"Yes she is." I respond getting into bed next to Lara. I sit next to her and put my arm around her shoulder pulling her into me. She leans into my side and I can feel her relax into me. "How long was I out?"

I kiss the side of her face and I can feel her smile against my chest. "About 10 hours. Don't worry I took care of her. I got her all fed and changed, but when she wakes up I have a feeling she is going to be pretty hungry. I made them let us come back home because I thought you would rather wake up here than the medical cabin."

Samantha moves just a bit and Lara rearranges her body around her baby then nestles back into me. She takes in a deep breath than pulls away and looks up at me with tears in her big blue eyes. "Lara what's wrong?" I ask jumping out of bed looking around for something that could be upsetting her.

She just shakes her head and puts her hand up to silence me. "What you said when I was giving birth you don't have to if you don't want too. I know that emotions were tense and you were scared." Her voice is shaking and I can tell she is about to burst into sobs.

I jump back onto the bed and pull her into me. "That is what I want Lara. I should have told you months ago hell I should have told you the first time I saw you but I was scared. I love you. I want a life with you."

"Really?" She squeaks out. I shake my head yes and kiss her lips softly. "Absolutely." I get back out of the bed and move to my dresser. I had found it months ago when Cas and I were looking for supplies. Everyone one else was in the grocery store or the sporting goods store but I saw the jewelry store on the corner and I had to stop. I thought Cas would mock me relentlessly but he didn't. I dig through my drawer until I find the small box hidden amongst my socks and underwear and go back to Lara whose whole attention is on the little baby in her arms.

I sit knell down next to her on the floor and grab her hand and kiss it. "Lara I knew the moment I saw you in that window that you were it for me. A few months ago I was out with Cas and I found this. I got it with the intention of growing a pair and telling you that night but I was so scared. Will you be mine?" I don't ask her to marry me because in this world marriage isn't something attainable like it used to be.

Lara's face flushes and she smiles. "Yes Dean I will be yours if you will be mine." She tells me softly. I slip the ring on to her finger and she grabs me for and kisses me softly. "I am yours forever." I tell her.

A few hours later Samantha wakes up with a loud cry. "I think she's hungry." I tell Lara who is obviously nervous. She looks at me with fear filled eyes. "I don't know what to do."

I help her stand and I escort her to the rocking chair that Cas and I got for her in the nursery. She sits down and starts to fumble with the buttons on her shirt. She finally gets them undone and I hand Sam over to her. "Just support her head and let her do the work. She knows what she wants." Lara brings the baby up to her nipple and Samantha does what she instinctively knows.

"I don't know what I am doing Dean. I never had a childhood or a mom. I have no clue how to do this." She's about to start panicking.

"It's going to be fine. We will figure this out together. I practically raised Sammy and there are other women here who have raised kids before. Besides the other you didn't know anything about babies either and she was fin..." Lara gives me a confused look. Shit! I have really fucked up.

"The other me?" Her face crinkles up in confusion. I should have told her about this sooner. "Lara I umm.. well I guess this is something that I should have... Lara I am sorry. I haven't be totally honest with you about everything. About a year ago Cas and his brother Gabe came to me from a different dimension and asked me to watch over Cas' or I guess Jimmy's daughter and grandson because angels were after her. I agreed and she came a few days later. We got in a huge fight and I ended up locking her in my cabin for about a week. At the end of the week I came in and found her having sex with me... well the other dimensions me. Their son brought him here because he missed him. That's when they told me everything."

Lara looks completely overwhelmed and Samantha has just finished nursing and is wiggling around in her arms. She picks her up and puts her on her shoulder and starts to rub her back. "Dean what are you talking about."

I try to get my thoughts together. This is all to crazy and I was part of it. "So there are different paths of existence depending upon what the people in that path choose. So far I know how 3. There is this one which you know. There is the second one which I believe is the primary path. In that everything in our lives go the same until a few years ago when Sam and I do stop the apoycoplyse. In that path a few years later we break in to a body farm and we find you. I don't know all the details but you end up staying with us. After a while we admit that we are in love and we get married and have at least one son. We name him John after my father and he's well.. well apparently.. he's the second coming of christ."

"EXCUSE ME!" Lara hisses out. Samantha starts to cry and Lara jumps up and starts to rock her. "You want me to believe that I give birth the second coming of Christ?!"

I shrug my shoulders. "I am just telling you what they told me. In the third path we meet when you are five years old. Your parents pass away when you are 10 and you move in with your Uncle Bobby and Aunt Karen. Apparently sometime after I come back from hell we get married and we have 6 kids."

"SIX KIDS!" She shouts at me. Samantha just cries harder and Lara cuddles her closer. "I know it seems crazy. The first one is John only in that world he and I kill Lucifer and the anti Christ and heaven wins the apocalypse. We also have some twins and a baby girl."

Lara looks a bit shell shocked and stands there quietly while she calms Samantha down. Once she has stopped crying and fallen asleep Lara lays her down in the crib. She motions for me to follow her out of the nursery and I follow her into our room. "Why didn't you tell me about this before?" She asks me. I can tell she is hurt.

I look down at the ground to nervous to look her in the eyes. "For a few reasons. One when I found out about these other worlds it pissed me off that there were other versions of me living a life I could only dream about. It didn't seem fair that some version of me had my soul mate with him his entire life while I have lived alone and miserable for most of mine. Second I didn't want you to think that the only reason I loved you was because of this other world. We are soul mates Lara. We are meant to be together. I can feel my heart and my body reaching for you whenever we are more than a arms length apart. That isn't because I meet some version of you it's because I meet you. I didn't want you to think otherwise."

Lara walks over to me and wiggles her way into my arms and rests her head on my chest. She looks up at me and smiles. "Did you say soul mates?" I shake my head yes and she gets on her toes and kisses me softly. "I love you Dean Winchester and I understand why you didn't tell me but if you ever keep something from me again I will punish you."

2 months later

It's been two months since Samantha come barreling into our lives. It's been two months since I told Lara I loved her and she agreed to be mine. It's been two really great months. We've gotten into a successful routine and we're all just really happy.

I haven't gone out on a mission since Samantha was born but I know that is going to change soon. I can't just stay here because I am worried about Lara and Sam. I still oversee everything that is going on in the camp but it feels lighter, better. Lara is all smiles all the time now. She just loves to watch Sam.

At night Lara puts Samantha down and comes into bed with me. I just lay there holding her and it's enough. Her body and more importantly her mind aren't ready to be with me yet. She still has nightmares but they seem to be getting better.

I have spent most the morning helping Chuck organize supplies and I am excited to get back to Lara and little Sammie before lunch. Has I take the stairs to our cabin I can hear Samantha giggling happily and Lara cooing over her. I stop at the door frame and just watch my little family. Samantha is in a pink footed onesie and is laying on a soft pink blanket on her back. Lara is giving her raspberries on her little tummy and tickling her lightly. I walk through the door and Lara looks up at smiles at me. "Dean!" She shouts out happily has she picks Sammie up and comes over to me. Samantha looks so much like my brother Sam it almost hurts. Her eyes are hazel like his and she had his wavy brown hair. Her facial features are so similar to Lara though. Lara is careful not to crush Samantha between us when she finally reaches me and kisses me softly. "How was your morning?" She asks me with a smile.

I take Samantha from her hands and she giggles and rubs her face in my neck. "It was good. I am glad to be back with my ladies though. How was your morning."

"Good, Jane stopped by today and I wanted to talk to you about something. She said she could use some help in the clinic and thought I might be willing to learn how to help her out. I thought it might be a good thing." She looks so excited but I wish she didn't feel the need to ask my permission but I guess after the life she has lead she is not used to making her own decisions. I am also glad to see them getting along. I know Lara feels hated from many of the woman her age here. I know it's because of me and it makes me feel horrible. All of these women and I knew it didn't mean anything but I guess it doesn't keep them from getting jealous that I finally settle down and it's not with one of them. I wonder what they would think if they knew we weren't even sleeping together yet.

"That sounds great. I know you want to be able to help out more and that sounds like a great plan." She lets out a happy squeal and stands up her toes to kiss me again. "Thanks Dean."

We walk over to the canteen and all the ladies fawn over little Samantha like they do every time they see her. They ladies don't remember John so this is the first baby they have seen in years. Lara rests Samantha in her arms and I get a tray for the both of us and get our food. We take a seat at our normal table only now some of the women have joined us. Where Lara used to sit quietly next to me and almost borrow into me when she was brought into the conversation she is now talkative. Her and the ladies talk about Samantha and all the stages of childhood while I talk with my men about strategy.

After lunch we are headed back to our cabin to put Samantha down for a nap when Cas runs after me and stops us. "I have a present for you two." He says slyly. I laugh at him and put my arm around Lara. "Yeah what could that be?"

"I am going to take Samantha for the afternoon so you guys can spend some alone time together." He doesn't wait for us to respond and just takes Samantha from Lara's arms and walks back to his cabin. Samantha doesn't even start to cry, she likes Cas a lot.

I look down at Lara not sure how she will be responding to this and she just looks slightly confused. "Well that was unexpected." I laugh out.

Lara smiles and me and nuzzles her face in my chest. "If you think you want to I would like to get more acquainted with you Dean." I can hear the shyness in her request. She doesn't even look up at me. I kiss the top of her head and use my fingers to lift her chin to look at me. "I would love to get more acquainted with you Lara." I say swiping her off her feet and carrying her back to our cabin.

The cabin feels different with just the two of us but not in a bad way just different. Lara is laughing and I kick the door shut behind me and carry her to our room. I lay her down on the soft mattress and stand back for a moment giving her a moment to collect herself. "Dean I'm...I'm nervous." She tells me quietly.

I slowly lower myself over and her kiss her softly. She moulds into me and moans slightly has I deepen the kiss. "There is no reason to be nervous. We won't do anything you don't want to do Lara. I love you."

She smiles brightly and pulls me back to down her lips. "I'm nervous because I've never willingly done this before. I don't know what I am doing and I want you to enjoy it."

"I am going to enjoy it regardless Lara it's with you. And we can take it nice and slow . And I want you to enjoy this too." I lean down and kiss her again. She moves to take off my over shirt. "Not yet I want to explore you first." I tell her with a crooked smile and she just blushes.

I haven't had a lot of time to explore her body. She has been so shy about it. I have kissed her senseless numerous times in this very bed and I have coped a slight feel under her shirt but she has been too nervous for me to truly touch or see her. I start to unbutton her shirt from the bottom up and I kiss her stomach up until the final button is popped. I can see her body flushing beneath me. I put a hand behind her neck and lift it while my other hand unclasps her bra. I lay her back gently and slide the bra off her chest. I sit back a moment and just enjoy her beauty. Her hands flutter to cover herself and I wait for her to calm down. "You are so beautiful Lara. There is nothing to be shy about." I tell her with a smile has I kiss her forehead down to her neck.

She shakes her head no beneath me. "How can you say that with all the scars that mar my body." I sit back up and I look down and for the first time notice her scars. I was to blown away from her beauty to take in the details. I lean down and I kiss the raised flesh on her collar bone. She is sighs beneath me while I kiss and suck on it. "What happened here?" I ask quietly into her collar bone.

"Sam." She moans out. I try not to react but I sit up fast and look down at her. Her eyes are half closed but they flutter open when I sit up. I cup her face with my hand. "Sam did this?"

She shakes her head yes slowly. "I have quite a few scars from my first run in with Sam before I died the first time." I need to show her that they aren't ugly that they don't make her hideous. I lean back down and kiss it softly. "Tell me about them." I ask her softly.

Lara's bright blue eyes meet mine and I see them fill with tears. I lean down and she closes her eyelids and I kiss them softly. "If it is too much you don't have too." In response she grabs my hand and brings it to her head. She moves through her hair and I feel a raised line of skin on her scalp. "I was shot while I was trying to kill a man's child. I was passed out for days but I survived and I believe the child did to."

I sit back and she manages to slide my over shirt off me before I notice. Then she brings my hands to the scar on her collar bone. "Ruby had me for a month while she was trying to seduce Sam. When he would go to sleep she would drip our blood into his mouth until he agreed to drink it. She tricked him. He became insatiable. He ripped into my like a dog and this is what happened." She then touches me with her right hand and brings my attention to the inside of her elbow. "Here she cut me and he couldn't get enough so he tore into my flesh to get more. I almost bleed out but she managed to stop him and get me help."

Before I can respond she takes my tshirt off me and manages to flip me underneath of her. She brings my hand up to her left breast and down the left side of it. "A bullet grazed me here and it hurt but I wasn't out of commission. The next night a cross roads demon took me out a strip club and still managed to steal souls even with my bleeding wound." I lean up and kiss the marred flesh softly and Lara's head flings back and her hair cascades down her back.

She pushes me back down on the bed and she stands up and kicks off her jeans then straddles me again. She takes my left hand and weaves her fingers through it and brings my right hand to a patch of scars on her abdomen. "When Ruby took me back to the body farm I was pregnant with Sam's first child." I give her a confused and shocked look and she kisses my forehead. "That is why Lucifer wanted me again he knew that Sam was able to conceive a child with me once already. He never knew about the child and I was 8 months pregnant when a woman named Gabby broke into the compound possessed by a demon and stabbed in me in the stomach killing my baby. The demon was exorcised and she was kept prisoner there. She died a week before I did."

"Lara I..." She leans down and captures my lips. "No need Dean, I know." She responds taking my hands and bringing them down her sides. "These are many of the knife wounds I have suffered."

Lara takes one of my hands to her inner thigh and has me feel the raised skin so near her warmth and I want to reach out and touch her but I don't. She then slides off me and lays down on her chest next to me. I sit up slowly and look down at her back. I take in a deep breath has I take in the long claw marks that mar most of her back and a bullet wound on her upper shoulder. I sit up and trace the claw marks and lean down and kiss them softly. "The last night I was your brother he gave me these. Ruby tricked him into clawing my body. I luckily passed out and when I came too he was licking the blood off my back and Ruby was telling him how good it felt."

I lick up each of the scars and feel Lara shudder beneath me. "Dean." She sighs out beneath me. I grab her hips and flip her so she is looking at me again. "You are gorgeous Lara and I want you so badly."

She smiles shyly and her hands fumble with the belt holding my jeans up. She manages to undo the belt and slide it through my jeans and I hear it fall on the floor next to us. Then her hands go to button on my jeans and she gets it unbutton and slides my jeans down my hips and thighs. I kick them the rest of the way off and cover her with my body. Just giving up a moment to enjoy the feel of our skin meeting. "I love you Dean." She whispers into my ear.

"I love you too Lara." I whisper back. "Are you sure you are ready?" I ask her. She responds by grabbing my face and bringing it to hers and kissing me. She then grabs my hands and brings them to her panties and helps me slip them off. I pull them down her hips and follow them down her legs and pull them off at the end of the bed. I kick off my boxers and slowly kiss up each of her legs while she smiles at me from the pillow. "I am going to worship every inch of your body Lara." I tell her seductively.

I reach her center and she tenses for a moment and I kiss the skin on her inner thigh. "Relax love I just want to make you feel good." I say into her legs. I feel her legs relax around me and I move up to her belly button and kiss her abdomen where Samantha used to be and move back to down to her core. I know this is all new to her and I don't want to frighten her. I slide my hands up her torso and reach her breasts. She lets out a moan and I start to massage them until she is rubbing up against me. I stop for a moment and lean my face into her. She gasps loudly and I feel her tense up. I slowly enter deeper with my tongue and she starts to relax around me. She tastes divine and she starts to move against my face. Before she can cum and move back out from between her legs and kiss her up her torso. I stop at her breasts and suck on them then move back to her lips. She is panting beneath me hardly able to control herself. "I am going to make love to you now Lara." I say into her lips.

"Please Dean." She pants out. I feel her legs widen beneath me and I kiss her deeply and align myself with her. I slowly enter wanting her to have time to adjust to my size. I feel her warmth surround me. God this feels good. It has been almost a year since I have laid with a woman and if I am not careful I am going to blow my load way to soon. I wait there a moment getting control of myself and I continue to kiss her lips and her face. "Dean please." She moans beneath me.

That is all the pushing I need. I slowly start to move in and out of her. She writhes and moans beneath me. I have never seen anything has beautiful has her coming undone beneath me. I know I won't make it much long and I push to make her cum quickly. She lets out a loud scream. "DEAN!" She screams out has she comes and I follow right behind her and collapse on her body.

After I get control of my limbs and grab her and roll us she is on top of me and I am not squishing her. The sun breaks through the clouds on one of its rare occasions and lights her from her behind forming a halo around her head. I kiss her forehead and pull her closer into me. "That was amazing Dean." She mumbles into my neck.

"It was incredible Lara." I say kissing the top of her head. We both drift off into sleep and I don't believe I have ever been this content.

a/n I hope you guys liked it. keep reviewing if you did! I have more to go on this story.


	7. Chapter 7

Lara's POV

3 years later

"Samantha it's time to get up honey." I call into her bedroom has I finish fixing up our cabin. I hear the little pitter patter of feet in her room and I smile has she comes out and grabs me in a tight hug. "Good mornin mama! Where dada?" She asks holding onto me.

I pick up her and the bedroom door behind me opens. "Right here Sammie." She starts to wiggle in my arms and I pass her over to Dean. He gives her kiss on the forehead then leans down to kiss me sweetly on the lips.

The bell for breakfast rings and we quickly get ready and head out. On the way to the canteen Samantha wiggles out of Dean's arms and runs towards Cas. "UNCLE CAS!" She squeals and he drops down and swops her up. "How are you this morning!?" He asks excitingly.

Samantha giggles and holds onto Cas' shirt. "Good! Mommy say you gonna play with me when I went sleepy last night." Cas smiles and shakes his head and they both go into the mess hall talking amongst themselves.

Dean drapes his arm around my shoulders and pulls me into him. "I am glad that Cas is going to watch her so I can have some time with you before I go out." I tense and try not to show my fear. I hate when he goes out on missions but it's a feeling we all have to deal with, all of us who say good bye to our loved ones when they go out into the dangerous world. God I wish he wasn't a fighter and just stayed home with Sam and me. I grab his left hand and kiss the knuckle of his ring finger. Last year I made Cas get me a ring that I could put on Dean's finger has well.

_Cas came running into the cabin before Dean could make it and he handed me the small box and winked then ran back out. I was surprised to hear them back so soon but I am so excited that they are. Dean thought they might be gone an whole month. Just a few moments later I heard Dean's boots stomping on the stairs and I ran to the door and ripped it open. I jump up and wrap my legs around him and kissed him wildly. "I have missed you." I mutter into his lips and he paws at me right back. He pushes me against the outside wall of the house and I refuse to unwrap my legs from his waist loving how it feels to feel him get harder. I am so glad I am just wearing one of his old t-shirts so I can really feel him. "Get a room you two!" Some of his men cat call at us. They are used to us by now, hell the whole camp likes to poke fun at us. The cabin walls aren't that thick and we live in a really small community and apparently I am a bit of screamer._

_ I lift up my hand and flip the finger still not taking my lips off his. He has been gone two weeks and they have felt like an eternity. Any time he's gone it feels like forever. He moves down my cheek and devours my neck. I throw by head back and give him access to my neck. I start to tear at his over shirt hoping to get it off so I can have better access to him as well. I know we are on the porch and out in the open but I can't seem to stop myself._

_ Before we can get much further I hear crying in the room behind me. Samantha! I immediately unwrap my legs from Dean's waist and we both run into Samantha's nursery. She is wrapped up in her blanket and holding on to stuffed elephant that Cas had found for her months ago. "Papa Sama! Papa Sama!" She cries out._

_ I give Dean a nervous look and kneel down next to her toddler bed. She knows about her Papa Sam and likes to hear stories about him. Dean leans down and shakes her shoulder gently. "Samantha honey wake up. You're having a bad dream." Samantha's eyes fly open and she latches onto me. I can feel her right hand trying to find her Daddy Dean. _

_ "Mama, Dada!" She cries into my neck. I rub her back and try to calm her down. "Papa Sam hurt." She cries out. Her Papa Sam is dead but she sometimes has dreams about him. I have debated if having his photograph in her room is a bad idea but Dean and I both feel like Sam deserves to be in his daughter's room. We have always been up front and truthful about Sam to her. We tell her stories about him every night so that she can know her biological father as well as she can._

_ Dean nudges me aside gently and picks Samantha up and she cuddles into him. "Don't you worry about Papa Sam Samantha. He was a strong boy and he always got better." _

_ She looks up at him and I can see her little lip quiver. "Prowwmissss?" Dean leans down and kisses her forehead. "I promise honey. Now why don't you get back to sleep."_

_ Her little eyes are already shutting has he puts her back in her bed and she grabs back onto her stuffed elephant. I light the tea candle in her room so she will have some light until she goes to sleep. "I love you Samantha." Dean whispers into her hair has he kisses her one last time and we go back into the main room._

_ I latch onto him and cuddle into his chest. "Her dreams have been troubled since you left. She would wake up screaming about dada and uncle Cas. She missed you almost has much as I did."_

_ Dean kisses the top of my head and holds me tighter. "No more than I missed my two favorite ladies." I relax and allow him to just hold me a bit longer. I slowly pull away and pick up the box on the table that Cas brought me. _

_ I get down on one knee and he gives me a confused look and I smirk at him. I grab his left hand and kiss his palm. "2 years ago you asked me to be yours and you put a ring on my finger. Tonight I want you to wear my ring too to show that you are mine has well." I pull out the box and show it to him. _

_ Dean smiles and pulls the ring out of the box and slides it on his finger. "I am yours now and forever Lara...Winchester." He says with a sexy smirk. He pulls me to my feet and picks up and carries me to the bedroom. We spend the rest of the night making love._

The mess hall is packed and there are a few more children running around. After I gave birth I kind of started a trend of women giving birth. Jane and I have been very busy. Sometimes I feel a painful longing that I can't give Dean his own child but he loves Samantha just like he would his own child. I just wish I could give him this one thing.

Cas has Samantha sitting next to him on a bench and they are deep in a conversation that looks very important to my daughters three year old self. When Samantha is in a serious conversation she looks so much like Sam sometimes. Her eyes get that same glint and her mouth gets the same clenched look. Her eyes are just like Sam's. Dean and I get food and sit down with them. Jane takes a seat next to me and gives me a quick smile. "You taking the afternoon off?" She says with a smirk.

I hit her playfully. "I will be but don't worry I'll be back to working bright and early tomorrow and I'll take the night shift if anyone needs it tonight."

Jane just smiles and leans into me. "Enjoy the afternoon with Dean. I know how grumpy you get when he leaves. Maybe he can screw you enough to keep it at bay for a few days. " I give her an incredulous look and we both break into laughs. Jane has become my best friend and we are very close. It's hard to imagine with how much I thought she hated me when I first came.

After our meal Cas takes Samantha back to his cabin where they will undoubtedly get into trouble. Cas has changed so much since I have gotten here and he relishes in his uncle duties. When we get back to our cabin Dean slams the door behind us and picks up me wrapping my legs around his waist. "Lara I only have a few hours before I have to go and I plan on making good use of them."

I laugh into his mouth and fondle his shirt trying to get it off so I can get to the skin beneath it. "Better hurry I plan on having you at least 4 times before you leave me." Dean chuckles and nips at my jaw. "Damn woman you are going to be the death of me."

Hours later we are both reluctantly putting out clothes back on. I wish we could just spend all our time like this. Naked and wrapped around each other. I hear Cas coming up the stairs and the laughs of my little girl. I come out of the bedroom with Dean trailing behind me and Samantha runs to me and I pick her up. "Mama?"

"Yes baby?" I ask her. She looks from Dean to me and then to Cas then back to me. "Who Uncle Gabe?"

I give Dean and Cas a confused look. I never meet him in my adult years but I have heard of him. Cas puts a hand on Samantha's shoulder. "He is angel like I used to be and he was a protector of your mommy."

Samantha smiles and buries her head in my neck. "He goin come today mama." I pull her back and give her a confused look. "When I sleepy he came. Wait hour dada."

Dean decides to stay for at least an hour. We were to nervous for him not to. How could Samantha have possibly known about Gabriel? Hell I didn't even really know about him. His name has been dropped here and there but I have no memories of him. Cas has been pacing around since Sammie gave us the news. He hasn't seen one of his brothers since long before his fall. I know he misses them even if he never talks about them. In secret he mourned the death of Lucifer. Despite what Lucifer was he was also Cas' brother just like Sammy was Dean's. I see his right hand twitching for a joint or at least a cigarette but he knows better than to smoke in our cabin with Sam, so he discreetly takes a pill from a bottle in his pocket. I wish he would fully give up his vices but I can't and would never ask that of him. I don't know what it's like to go from an angel to a mere mortal. His fall was painful and he has lost so much. I have only gained more and more every day. I makes me feel guilty sometimes when I see him.

Just like Samantha predicted one hour later there is a commotion at the gate. I can hear the guards screaming. "In coming!" I can feel the tension in the camp. I can't even remember that last time we had honest to god humans show up. Sometimes a few croats make it and ever rarer a demon might but with our wards and traps its rare.

"Lara I want you and Sam to stay here. I want you to hide in crawl space until I come back and tell you otherwise." About two years ago Dean made a hiding spot for us in the crawl space of the cabin. It has more wards on it than I care to even count. I start to protest but Dean leans down and kisses me softly. "Please baby I need to know that you and Sam are safe. If anything were to ever happen to either of you I would..." He clenches his eyes closed and shakes his head and tries not push the idea of anything happening to us from his mind. He can't even finish his sentence. I raise my hand and caress his neck and bring his lips back down to mine and kiss them.

"I understand honey. We will wait for you." I kiss him one more time because I just can't help it and pick Samantha up. I walk into her room, Dean wanted it in there so anytime Samantha felt afraid she could easily get in there and hide, and he lifts up the trap door and we walk down into our hiding spot. I watch him give us a sad smile as he shuts its behind us.

Luckily I was also part of this hiding spot design. I made sure there was a comfortable seat for Samantha so she wouldn't get more afraid, there is a small pile of her toys, a few bottles of water with some granola bars, and most importantly a flashlight and some candles. Luckily since it is still daytime the light is coming through the cracks in the floor board. The beams of light eerily illuminate all the wards that are protecting us. Dean carved in protections for just about everything that you can protect us from and left us weapons and potions down here. Hell he even has a jar of dead man's blood in case of a vampire attack. God I love him so much. He makes me feel happy, safe, loved, and complete. I've never once doubted what he feels for Samantha. He loves her like a father. He would kill and be killed for her. It's not just because she is Sam's daughter it's because of her. He just loves her. Sometimes I'll come home from helping Jane in the clinic and Dean will be asleep on the couch with Samantha snuggled up on his chest and it just makes me smile. He truly is her father despite what any blood test would tell us.

Sammie is nervous. She doesn't like be down here even though I have toys for her. "Mommy why daddy no believe me? Just Uncle Gabe and some his friends." She pouts at me while she grabs her doll and crawls into my lap.

I wait for her to get situated. She rests her head on my chest and I give the top of her head a kiss. "Honey it's not that daddy doesn't believe you. He just wants to keep us and everyone else safe. Once he sees its just Uncle Gabe and his friends everything will be alright." I still don't understand why she thinks it's him. "Honey why do you think Uncle Gabe is coming today and how did you hear about him?"

Samantha giggles in my arms and looks up at me with her big hazel eyes. She looks so much like Sam it breaks my heart sometimes, I just miss him. "Me see Uncle Gabe when me sleep. He just there. Like Papa Sama, and mama, and dada." She responds with a huge toothy grin. That doesn't answer a lot and quite frankly doesn't stop me from worrying. We wait in the crawl space for Dean to come home and give us the all clear. I can't help but remember the frightful day that we first had to use this space.

_"Lara quick get Sam and get down there!" Dean yells at me. I had been folding laundry that I had just cleaned by hand in the washroom with a bunch of the other women when we all heard the screaming. "In coming!" Those two words are the most dreaded word in the entire English language to all of us. Those two words are why we have guards, those two words are what haunt many of our dreams. I can't count the amount of times I've woken up in a cold sweat thinking I heard those words screamed. Dean is always there to calm me down with soft kisses and gentle touches. I know I am not the only one who dreams of those horrible words. There are survivors from other camps out there that have been over run. Whenever they are screamed we know that anything could be coming. The hope that no one will speak out loud is that it is a new survivor. Survivors are something to look forward too. It proves that the world isn't as horrible as we think it is. Unfortunately there hasn't been a new survivor introduced to our camp since me, which was almost two years ago. _

_ "Dean please come with us." I plead with him. He shakes his head no and I know that he feels a responsibility to the camp. He truly is our leader and because of that he knows he has to be the lead of every attack. "Take Sammie and hide. I'll be back soon." He assures me with a quick but passionate kiss, it feels like a last kiss, but I know it's his way of making sure every moment means the most. We don't waste nights on fights. When we have a fight we duke it out and make sure it ends with a kiss, sex, and sleeping next to each other. We don't waste our precious nights on him sleeping on the couch if he upsets me. I would never recover if I knew our last time together was a fight that is why we fix any problems at the roots and never let them fester. I know all the other couples here are like that too. You can't risk those last words being words of hate. _

_ "I love you!" I call after his has he runs out the door. I grab Sam up from her nap and quickly hide us in the crawl space. Luckily Samantha hasn't woken yet, she is quite a deep sleeper. I don't know how long we have been down here but after the sun beams move from straight over head to about 2 o'clock on the walls Sammie starts to stir. _

_ She starts to whimper like she does when she normally wakes up let alone when she wakes up in the dark. "Mama." She moans out. I cradle her closer. "Yes baby it's me. I'm right here princess." She seems to relax into my arms a bit and cuddles into my chest then I feel her tense._

_ "Mama, bad bad things here." She cries into my chest. I tighten my hold on my baby girl. Nothing bad will get to her while there is still even a glimmer of a heart beat in my body. "Don't worry princess Daddy is going to protect us and we are totally safe." I hope we are safe. I look to my left and see the guns and knives that Dean has stock piled for us. I know how to use every weapon down here with me. _

_ Samantha takes a deep breath and I look down at her and kiss her forehead. "Me's knows mama. Dada makes safe." I smile at her and rock her back and forth until she stops crying. The sun has continued to move through our safe haven and I haven't heard a loud noise in quite a while. When we first came down here I could hear the men in our camp coming to arms and the wails of women and children has they left. I almost snicker at the thought of all the women that Cas left behind. But those noises are long gone and I know that everyone is hiding in similar hiding holes as Samantha and me. Cas and Dean went on a rampage a few months ago to make sure there are safe hiding spots for all the people that get left behind on these kind of missions. We are one of the lucky ones to have one in our cabin but there are many of these sites throughout the camp. Everyone is trained on what to do when the call "In coming" is alarmed. The fighters arm themselves and get ready to kill the threat and the providers hide. I wish I could be out there fighting next to Dean. In our training we found that I am damn deadly with a gun. I am the best shot in this camp. In fact on a very rare occasion Dean will let me have a shift at one of the towers because I am such a good shot. Sometimes he even lets me hunt with him for fresh meat but only in our land that is protected with wards, never truly in the wild. But I know if I was fighting beside him he would be to worried to fight and just focus on protecting me so I hide like the providers. My hands itch for the gun just a few feet from my fingers but I need to keep Samantha calm. _

_ The sun goes down and with the last of the light Samantha starts to whimper again. She hates the dark. I quickly calculate the risks and light a small tea light to keep her calm. I try to keep her calm and luckily all of our training exercises prepared her for this. We all know that silence is the key to our survival if something gets in. "Mama hungry." Samantha whispers into my ear. It's been about a month since I stopped breast feeding. According to the books we found Sammie was a bit old for me to wean her off breast milk but in this world there was no substitute for it that we could find on a regular basis. I just hope I have even a drop for her. I pull down my shirt and bring Samantha to my breast. I feel the tug on my milk in me and luckily something flows. I say a silent prayer to God that I have something to give my baby. I make a mental note to store some food down here before next time._

_ We have been hiding for a long time and once Sam has her fill she drifts off to sleep. I button up my shirt and blow out the candle while she is asleep. I have lost all sense of time now that the sun has set. I hear the familiar sound of boots crunching on the gravel near the threshold to our cabin. I pull Samantha tighter to me than I have ever held her before. I hold my breath hoping that it is my Dean. "Rigatoni." Dean calls out. I let out a sigh of relief. That is our safe word. It's just a bizarre word that no demon could ever think to even utter to convince me that it is safe to come out. _

_ I jump up and walk up the stairs flinging the trap door open with a loud crash. Samantha's eyes flash open and we both take in Dean in front of us. "Dean?" I utter in shock while in my arms Sammie cries out, "Dada!" _

_ Dean pulls us both into a tight hug and kisses Samantha's forehead and my lips. He looks like he has been through a war. His shirt is blood-soaked. There are scratches all over his face and arms. One deep cut is above his eyebrow and is no doubt clouding his vision with blood. I do a quick glance over and see another deep cut on his side. Luckily one of the women in the cabin next to us come running into our cabin. I look at her and relief floods over me. "Harriet please take Samantha I need to take care of Dean."_

_ Harriet doesn't have a loved one in the fighters and thankfully thought of us once they came back. Samantha starts to cry in my arms. "Honey I need you to go with Auntie Harriet for a bit while I take care of Daddy. I will come and get you once he is all cleaned up." Samantha wants to fight with me but she loves her Auntie Harriet and goes with her. _

_ Now all of my focus can be on the man in front of me. "Dean..." I choke out. He pulls me into a tight hug and kisses me passionately. I don't fight him and allow him to dominate me. He kisses me roughly and his tongue darts through my lips and takes over my mouth. I can taste a bit of his blood on my lips has he kisses me. "Lara..I need...I want..." He moans into me. _

_ I know I need to check over his wounds but I was so scared for him. He pushes me back against the wall of our living room and continues to kiss me senseless. My hands find their way around his neck and down his back. He lets out a wince and I try to pull away but he pushes against me even harder and keeps kissing me. The lack of oxygen starts to make me dizzy and he moves down my jaw and neck never leaving my skin driving me crazy. "Dean..." I moan out. _

_ He stops for just a moment and grabs my face. I meet his stare. "I couldn't stop fighting Lara. I kept imagining those things getting in here to you and Samantha. I was a wild man." His forehead falls forward and hits mine. _

_ My hands start to soothe him by rubbing up and down his back instead of claw at him with sexual need. "You did good baby. We are safe thanks to you. Now let me heal you." I whisper to him. He doesn't move for a second then he shakes his head. _

_ I guide him into our bedroom and sit him down on our bed. I kiss his lips softly this time, not with need but with love. I slowly peel off his sweaty over shirt. He fought long and hard that is for sure. "Lift your arms has high has you can honey." I tell him softly. His right arm is able to go above his head but his left arm can hardly lift at all. I put my hand on his right arm and make him lower it again has I inspect his left arm. There is a deep gash on his left shoulder. "I will be back in just a minute love. Just rest." He shakes his head slowly. I don't want to leave him but I need more supplies than I have here._

_ By the time I get to the clinic I see a line of men needing help. I feel guilty for a moment for only worrying about Dean and running past them inside. Cas is working on one of the fighters on the table next to Jane. He is cut up, has blood and dirt all over, but I can tell he has no bad injuries by his stance, just cuts and scrapes. "Do you guys need me?" I ask them out of breath. _

_ Cas shakes his head no. "No one here is fatally wounded you take care of Dean." He responds without even looking up. I look to Jane and she meets my glance. "You have the boss we have the rest." I see sadness in her eyes._

_ "How many did we lose?" I know that look in her eyes. She looks away and focuses on Chad who has a deep cut on his leg in front of her. "We lost two, Ken and Dawn." Those names go through me like an arrow. We lost two of us tonight. There is no need for words we all wordlessly look at each other even Chad and Jackson who are getting worked on. We lost two comrades tonight. _

_ I grab what I need and rush back to Dean. He is just where I left him sitting on our bed. I knell down in front of him and pull out the scissors. "I am going to cut off your shirt honey." He shakes his head and I grab his shirt and start to cut the thin material that is covering his chest. I peal it away and I see all of his injuries. Nothing fatal but painful none the less. I grab the rag in the water bucket next to me and I begin to clean them all off. Once the blood and dirt are cleared away I get another rag and pour alcohol on it so I can sanitize the wounds. Dean winces but he doesn't cry out in pain like most would. "Honey this is going to hurt but I need to sew some of the shut."_

_ "I know baby just do what you got too." He responds to me. I grab the needle and thread and line up on the first gash that needs stitched. I work fast and carefully. I know I am hurting him but I need to do this to keep him healthy. Once I am done I clean them once again with the alcohol and put clean gauze over them and gently rap them up. _

_ Once I am finally done I lean down and unlace Dean's boots and pull them off. I then tug off his socks. He starts to lean back on the bed but before he can fully relax I pull him to his feet and undo his jeans and tug them down his thighs and help him step out of them. "Now you can lay down." I tell him and help him lay down on our bed. He leans back and rests on his pillow and lets out a content sigh. _

_ I go to walk out of the room and let him rest but Dean grabs my wrist. "Please Lara I just need you. I need to feel you around me to remind you that you are safe." _

_ I smile down at him and kiss his forehead. "Dean I just stitched you up and has your nurse I advise against such behavior." Dean's hopeful face turns into a pout and I lean over him and kiss him and pull back up. "But has your lover I think we can make something work." _

_ Dean's face brightens and I stand back up and quickly discard every stitch of fabric on my body that could keep Dean and I apart. I gently crawl over him and straddle him. I can feel him growing hard beneath my body through the thin cotton that makes up his boxer. He tries to sit up but winces. I push him back on the mattress gently. "Let me take care of you tonight Dean." He smiles at me and I grab one of the pain pills I got from the infirmary and put it in my tongue. I lean over him and kiss him forcing my way into his mouth. I push the pain pill into his mouth and pull away long enough for him to swallow. "By the time I am done with you that will be in your system and you will be able to rest." I whisper into his ear. _

_ He smiles against my cheek and I kiss him again. I kiss all over his face and give special attention to the cut that finally stopped bleeding over his eye brow. I move off his face and kiss his neck and collarbone. I lavish his chest with kisses and love bites and my hand soothe his flesh. I play with the band of his boxers and trace the band with my tongue while my hand traces lines across his flesh. He gets harder and I can feel his dick pushing into my throat. His hands flutter to his boxers ready to pull them off. "Not tonight Dean, I am taking care of you." I say to him with a wink. His hands retreat and I kiss his lower stomach._

_ I don't want to wait much longer. I was just has worried about him has he was about me while we were separated. I use my left hand to help lift his hips while I use my right hand to pull his boxers down. I move myself up his thighs to his hips and rest myself right over his dick. "Baby I want you to just lie there and relax. I don't want you to strain yourself." I say with a wink. I take his member into my hands and guide him into center. I slowly sink down onto his dick and just rest for a moment once his entire member is sheathed in me. "I love you so much Dean." I moan out._

_ "I love you now and forever Lara." He croaks out beneath me. I slowly start to move up and down him. His hands find my hips and dig in. I know he wants to buck up and meet me but he knows that I will push him back if he even tries to move right now. I quicken the pace and tighten my muscles over him has I move. "God Lara!" He cries out._

_ I move faster and faster over him clenching and unclenching my muscles over him. His right hand trails up my side to my breast and his left hand stays gripping into my hip. "I can't hold on much longer Lara." He tells him as I slam down on him again. I can tell I am near too and I keep working us until I feel him cum in me. I hit my orgasm on the next move and I scream out with him. I don't fall on him but quickly roll off him making sure not to hurt him. I immediately miss him in me. "I love you Dean." I whisper into his ear while my hand winds his way into his. _

_ "Forever Lara, forever." He tells me has his eyes closed. I watch him as he falls asleep, his chest moving up and down. I could never have dreamed for a better life than the one I now have. _

We have had a few more times since then that we have had to hide in our crawl space and it never gets any easier. I still worry about him with every fiber of my being and I know he worries about us too, its why he fights so hard.

It's not long before I hear boots crunching on the gravel and taking the stairs to our cabin. "Rigatoni." Dean calls out. I relax immediately and grab Samantha to get out of the crawl space. Before I can open the hatch Dean opens it and light floods the dark space. Samantha is so excited that she is squirming in my arms. "Unky Gab!" She keeps shrieking. I come up the stairs and Dean pulls us into a tight hug and Sam gives him a sloppy kiss. He smiles at her and kisses me too.

"Come on." He says quietly. He takes Sam from my arms and grabs my hand and takes me to the containment cabin. It's where we interrogate demons, store new people, or put our own people that have committed some type of atrocity.

Dean opens the door and we walk in. Cas is busily talking away to a shorter man who has a woman and two men behind him looking around nervously. The man talking to Cas looks at us briefly than goes back to talking to Cas. Then he stops mid sentence and looks back at us and stares at me. "How is it possible? Lara? You're alive?"

Before I can respond Samantha wiggles out of Dean's arms and goes running up to the man and grabs his legs and hugs him tight. "Unky Gab!" He looks down at her confused and looks back up at me. "This isn't Dean's child." He mumbles out very confused.

That was not the best thing to stay in front of Dean. I see his jaw clench and he huffs his way over to the man and picks up Samantha. "No Daddy me daddy!" She chides the man she calls Uncle Gabe. She snuggles into her Daddy's chest and rests her head over his heart. Dean bores into him with his most pissed of stare. "Don't you dare come into my camp and start messing with my family." He doesn't need to yell to get his point across, he is pissed.

I come up behind Dean and rest my hand on his shoulder trying to calm him down. He relaxes a bit under my touch but I can tell he is still upset. The man who I still have not been introduced to starts to stutter. "That's not... I didn't mean... It's just... Well she has Sam's gift."

That causes all of us to look at him like he has three heads. "Explain." Dean spits out. The man looks at Samantha softly and goes to touch her but Dean takes a step back. The message is clear, hands off.

"I believe your daughter may have some psychic abilities. Dean you never had those abilities so they didn't come from you. I know Lara doesn't have them so they don't come from her. The only one was Sam. Also this little girl looks so much like him." He says staring at my baby girl.

Dean is ready to snap back at him but I put pressure on his shoulder. "Before this conversation goes much further I would like to know who you are and who your friends are." I figure we can get back to fighting once we are all on a first name basis.

The man smiles and extends his hand to me. I hesitantly take it and he grabs my and kisses my hand. "I am Gabriel. When you were just a baby you referred to me has your Uncle Gabe. I used to be an Archangel but I lost my powers when Heaven closed its gates just like Cas here." He turns around and points the woman behind him. "That is Parvati and the man next to her is her husband Shiva. They are both Hindu Gods." He says referring to the man whose arm is now draped around the beautiful woman in front of me. He then points to the other man that I now notice has only one hand. "That is Tyr a Norse God."

"Why are you travelling around with a bunch of Gods Gabe?" Dean asks. He is still mad but I can tell some of the anger is subsiding.

Gabriel chuckles. "Once the apocalypse started I began to lose my powers and so have the other Gods. We all convened to try and conserve our resources and fight Lucifer together. There were much more of us when we began. Some of us have broken off but we have lost many." Gabriel looks at Cas and frowns. "Balthazar and I were the only other angels that I know of that stayed on earth and he died a few years back." He says softly. Cas frowns and I know he will mourn for the loss of his brother. "But it was for the best, he died mortal and is with his charge now."

I want to ask what he means by he is with his charge now but I think that can be a conversation for a later date. "So what brought you here?" Dean asks. Samantha's head pops us and she smiles. "Because he love us." She says happily.

Gabriel smiles at my little girl and looks at me. "That is part of it, but this is one of the few safe havens left. We can help you here. I have lost my power but Parvati, Shiva, and Tyr still have some power. We can help keep you all safe and you can give us a place to rest."

Dean looks at Cas and a moment later Cas shakes his head just slightly. "How can I be sure I can trust you." He asks coldly. Samantha hits her daddy playfully. "Dada me see! Me see! Unky Gab trust!" She seems so sure.

Dean takes in a deep breath. "Fine we will try it out, but if you betray us I will have no problem kicking you out." I can hear the threat in his warning. If they do anything to hurt anyone here they are done for.

They all shake their head in agreement and Samantha lets out a happy squeal and finally wiggles out of her daddy's arms and launches onto Gabriel. "We have fun!" She tells him. Gabriel looks at me then my daughter. "Yes we will."

a/n hope you all like update! This story might be a bit longer than I originally intended cause I came up with some stuff I really wanna do. I hope you like it and review if you get a chance.


	8. Chapter 8

a/n to guest reviewer, I wasn't able to respond because it was a guest but I wanted to explain the story. I am guessing you haven't read becoming free or maybe even born free. This story is a side story to Becoming Free. Lara didn't willing have Sam's baby. Lucifer was trying to impregnate her while wearing Sam and basically she got lucky that it was Sam's kids and not Lucifer's. In this story she doesn't meet Dean until she is already pregnant. The children thing does suck but she was giving birth in not the best of circumstances and there were complications. Sorry that you don't like the story thus far but if you do read this I hope it makes more sense. I suggest reading Becoming Free to get a better of idea of where this story came from.

Dean's POV

I hate having to leave the camp. It wasn't that hard to do six years ago before Lara and eventually Samantha came into my life but now it's painful. I had nothing to lose before them, now I have everything to lose. Which is one of the reasons we still do these missions.

We have to check the wards and the area surrounding us for threats and we do that quite regularly. Different groups take turns patrolling the area but those jobs don't take that long. These types do. We still need supplies. Despite the generous donation that the angelic Gabriel gave us years back we still need things. We have started farming and that has helped. We don't need to leave nearly as often and I never thought I would love fresh produce but it's amazing what years of canned peaches will make you like. There are other things we need still though. Small things like soap and toilet paper. Then there are bigger things like penicillin and morphine. Then the most important thing, salt. Spray paint and chalk are a close second to the most important thing but salt by far is. We have a stock pile of salt that is needed to protect our camp from what is still out there. Gabriel is convinced that we can outlive the Croats then in the future we can start taking out the demons until we can take back the world that was ours. I still don't know if I believe that but regardless I need to protect my family and my camp. So we go out and we get what we can. It's been years now since the cities have fallen and survivors have moved to remote camps and all the towns near us are depleted of our most important resources. So I have taken us further and further from home. This mission will probably take us three weeks to a month. I hate being gone that long but I know the importance of these missions.

"Dean over there!" Cas yells at me from the passenger seat of my truck. He's happily smoking a joint but his window is down and Samantha isn't around so I can't complain. I sometimes wonder how he still finds weed and where he grows it himself but I know better than to try and figure that man out. He's an enigma. I look over where he is pointing and I see a snow emergency center. They may have enough rock salt to keep us safe for years if its full. I motion with my hands outside of the truck window for the rest of the men to follow me.

We pull into the center and all arm ourselves and carefully take in the center. Gabe and Tyr go right Cas and I go left and the rest of the men disperse. After 10 quiet minutes we deem it clear and start to search for supplies.

This place is a gold mine. Their rock salt has hardly been touched and this will keep us safe for a long time. We don't have enough vehicles to even get it back so we check some of the trucks and luckily they are working.

The rest of the afternoon is spent loading truck after truck. "Tyler, Zac, Rob, and Larry I want you guys to go ahead and take these trucks back now. I don't want to risk anything happening to them while we look for more supplies." No one questions me and they get ready to head back. Before the leave I walk up to Tyler and hand him two letter. "Hey man can you give this to Lara and Samantha when you get back?"

"Sure thing boss!" He replies with a smile and jumps up into his truck. I know its sappy but I miss them and I want them to know I think about them. I know it's just as hard for them as it for me. Both my girls have horrible nightmares and I know they are better when I am home. I feel guilty leaving them there to deal with them. We know that Samantha's aren't quite nightmares but visions. Lara and I have her write and draw them out in a journal we got her by her bed now so we can keep track of them. Lara's aren't so easily handled though. She sometimes wakes up and is completely unaware where she is and is wreck until I can calm her down.

The men head out at my command. It's still strange being a leader like this. I spent most my life alone on the outskirts of society. Now all of a sudden I am the end all be all to a small group of survivors. It can be intimidating. "Where should we camp out tonight?" Gabe asks biting into an apple that we brought with us from one of more successful farming test.

The sky is getting darker but we still have probably an hour before we have to worry. "We'll follow this road and stay at the first safe looking house we find." Gabe just shakes his head and we all get back in our vehicles and drive.

It doesn't take long. We hit the town that the snow center must have serviced within 30 minutes. On the outskirts of the town there is a relatively sturdy looking house on an open plot of land that has good views. It will be a good spot to hide out for the night.

We all pull in start getting the place ready for the night. We pour a thin layer of salt down around the windows and doors and put up some traps and come up with the sleeping rotation for the night. Gabe starts making our dinner, he's the best at it of all us so we just trust what he will come up.

When I saw him that day I never thought I would grow to trust him let alone call him my friend. One of the first words out of his mouth was that Samantha wasn't my daughter. He has apologized to me for that many times over the years but I understand what he meant now. I thought it would be nearly impossible to integrate him and the other gods into the camp but they have. Parvati and Shiva tend to be in charge of protection while we are gone on missions. There powers have lessened over time but if a demon gets past the wards they can still incinerate them. If they are overrun they will have help but they can take care of a handful on their own. Tyr is one bad ass mother fucker and I love having him with us on missions like this. He may only have one hand but damn can he fight. It's crazy to think that before all of this happened I may have tried to kill him and now he is one of my best friends.

He does have a total crush on Lara though. He jokes around about it and I know nothing would ever happen but he likes to raze me. Gabe says that Tyr likes her because she looks like the only mortal wife that he ever took. She was a Norwegian women in around the year 200 or so. She and their baby died in childbirth. I can relate to that I almost lost Lara in childbirth. Just a few days ago he caught me looking at her photo. I took it the first day we had the Polaroid when she wasn't looking. She is completely lost in her own thoughts and is smiling to herself. Her hand are resting over Samantha and the light is hitting her face just so from the window. She is stunning in this photo and I like to keep it with me.

_"So when is your girl gonna wake up and realize I am way better than you." He asks with a obvious glint of humor in his muddy blue eyes. He flicks is hair out of his eyes. He wears his hair a bit like Sammy only longer and blond. He has it pulled back into a ponytail but his bangs fall out. It really does look like some kind of Viking. _

_ I laugh and put her photograph back in my pocket. "You couldn't handle her even if you got the chance." Zac and Rob give me a worried glance. They aren't used to use joking around and are rightly worried I am going to kill this guy. Honestly only Tyr and Cas could get away with this kind of joking and if it was Cas it would be a bit gross. Well a lot gross his vessel is her father! _

_ He leans back his head and lets out a roaring laugh "That is probably true. I've heard you guys." I punch his arm. "We're not that bad." I mumble back pretending to be mad. _

_ "NOT THAT BAD! Half the camp sleeps with ear plugs because of you two!" HIs eyes are filled with laugher. He looks to Zac and Rob. "Come on you guys know I'm right." They both look down at their feet refusing to respond. _

_ I stomp over to them and plant myself at their feet. "Is this true?" I demand putting on my leader voice. They both look up at me and honest to god blush. I start again even harder and walk away and pat Tyr's back. "Yea good luck with ever wooing her away from me. I want to see you top that, especially with one hand." I say with a wink._

_ "Oh this one hand can more than make up for what she's put up with your sloppiness over the years." We continue to razz each other for a bit longer and we all sit down to take a lunch break. _

_ "Hey Tyr?" I say seriously. He looks up at me with all humor gone from his eyes. "You know I was just kidding man I would never try to hook with her. I'd be a fool to think I even could. I just like to joke around with you." _

_ I smile and shake my head. "That's not it. I just want you to promise if anything ever happens to me you'll take care of her. I know that Cas and Gabe will but just promise ok?" He shakes his head and grabs my hand and does the man shake. "I swear man." If anything happens to me I need a strong line up of people to protect her. _

Lara. Just thinking her name makes me miss home. I go into living room and leave the rest of the men to their dinner and take a moment for myself. I can hear their laughter has they talk about things that have happened on hunts and other past war stories. I pull out my wallet. It used to hold money, fake ids, and fake credit cards. I mostly held onto it out of habit but now it does have a function. It holds a few pictures and letters.

Sammie drew me a picture a few years back and I wrap it up with the pictures in my wallet. I unwrap her picture and look at it. It's a rather normal landscape. In the foreground is a stop sign with a green street sign that says Second St on it. Behind it is a road then some buildings. On the left is a red brick building with an old coca cola advertisement painted on it and the right side is another red brick building that says hardware store on the top. Written in her messy block writing says. If you see run daddy.

When she first gave this to me I asked her what this was about. She just said I have seen what happens there daddy and you need to run if you see this. She forced me to take the picture with me and made me promise to look at it once a day so I would remember it if I ever say it. Sam has saved us numerous time with her hunches and dreams. Just 4 months ago she made us wait a day before going on a short mission and in doing so we were there for a massive demon attack. If we had left they probably would have broken through the walls. It scares me that my little girl sees theses horrible things in her head but we have come to depend on those visions.

Wrapped in her picture are five photographs. The first one is the picture of Lara when she was pregnant with Samantha. Then I have a close up photograph of Sammie when she was 2 years old. She is making a funny face at the camera. It is one of my favorite pictures of her. Behind it is a family picture of Lara, Samantha, and me. Cas took it outside near the apple tress last fall. The next photos are for my eyes only. The first is a shot of Lara laying out on the bed naked smiling at me. Her hair is spread out under her and her hands are wrapped up in it flung out above her resting on the pillows. We had just made love and I wanted to capture that moment so I could take it with me on a mission. I snapped up the camera and she laughed at me and smiled for the photo anyways. The photo beneath it might be even a bit more risqué but in this world I take whatever few happy things I can get. We were wrapped up into each other one night. I was sitting down and she was in my lap with her legs wrapped around me and we were naked and kissing amongst other things. We had the Polaroid next to the bed and I just picked it up and snapped a quick shot. Neither of us are looking at the camera. Our eyes are closed and we are just lazily kissing each other. Our bodies are fused together and it even a blind man could tell how in love we are. When I'm gone like this it's not like I can pick up a phone and call her. These are all I have.

I hated leaving her this time more than most. She hasn't been feeling well these last few days. She's been so tired, pale and anytime she so much as looked at food she puked. I told her I would push the trip back but she assured me that she would be fine and Jane promised to stay with her. I was alright with not having our traditional pre-mission sex-a-thon but she insisted on at least trying. We actually managed without any problems but it was calmer and quieter than normal. I know she is in good hands with Jane and she would never allow anything bad to happen to her. Samantha gave me a big hug and a kiss before I left and told me not to worry that mommy would be fine. Again I know I shouldn't put all my faith in her but she hasn't been wrong yet.

Gabe has been working on teaching her how to use psychic abilities and it's been slow going. She's only five! Her visions are a bit spotty but if she says something is going to happen at a certain time it does. But most of her visions are timeless. She has seen things that happened in the past and things that haven't happened yet and we have no clue when they will. Sam sometimes sees things in mine and Lara's past and that is always a bad night. She wakes up screaming and we have to bring her to our bed and hold her the rest of the night. She should never have to see the things that her mother and I went through. No child should. Just like her Papa Sam's dreams having them means she can avoid the outcomes. Many people have survived because of what she saw.

Samantha hates it when I leave and I started to leave her with my amulet that Sam gave me for Christmas all those years ago. Every time I leave I put it around her neck and kiss her forehead and tell her the same thing. "Keep this sweetie and daddy will come back for it soon." Just a few days ago I took it off my neck and put it around her and told her the same things. She looks so much Lara but I see a lot of Sam in her too. It's mostly her hair and eyes. Her facial features are small like Lara's but those two things take after my brother.

"Hey Dean remember that time... oh fuck was that seven years ago... when we found that demon stuck in one of our traps in the walmart?" Cas yells out to me. I smile thinking of that day and walk back into the kitchen.

The next morning we all load up but decide to use this house again for the next few days while we work out way through the small town. It's nice to not have to lay down wards and salt every night but to just keep one base for at least a few mile radius.

When we take in a town we are quiet at first. We don't know what is there. Do demons reside here? Is there a horde of Croats just waiting for us behind a building? We don't know so we are cautious. We've lost enough people over the years and it's my goal to keep the numbers as low as possible.

Luckily there is a Exxon station at the beginning of town and we are able to raid it for maps. Of course Gabe hits up the candy isle and is over dosing on Hershey's before I can even blink but I know he'll bring back enough for the kids at the camp. All the kids love him because he practically bleeds candy and is such a big kid at heart. Bastard has gotten my own little girl addicted to Reese's cups. We all grab some garbage bags and fill them with everything that we can grab in the store. Gabe holds up a plastic bag in front of my face. "These are for Samantha make sure she gets them." I look into the bag and sure enough all the Reese's products that could fit are in there.

"Thanks Gabe these shouldn't rot her teeth out or anything." I retort sarcastically. Jesus when did I become that guy? I used to eat, drink, and fuck my way through the United States. Now I am worried about my little girls teeth! "Ok guys get over here." Cas, Tyr, Gabe, James, and Steve come around me.

I pull out the maps and circle different areas for each team. Cas and I, Tyr and Gabe, and James and Steve are the teams. I break the town up in to quadrants and we will take a few days to go through all the stores and homes to see what we can get. If we are lucky we can use this place a few trips in a row to get stuff before it's depleted. If we are lucky Chuck will have a field daj when we get back because of all the supplies we bring him.

Cas and I take our quadrant and start going through the buildings. I broke it down so we all hit the stores and the houses. We can always use things like new clothes, beddings, and pots and pans. With winter coming quilts will help keep everyone warmer which is important especially with all the new kids. Lara could use some new shirts too the last I took notice. She likes to steal my things anyways but it couldn't hurt. God she looks sexy in nothing but one of my button ups, her hair all sex tussled, and her lips slightly swollen from kissing me. FOCUS DEAN! Ok so clothes. We could also use more kids clothes. The baby clothes get puked on so frequently that they only make it through a few kids not to mention what they do with the toddler clothes. They all get holes in the knees and grass stained. It's amazing how much happier the camp is with the sounds of kids laughing though.

The homes have a lot of supplies that we can use. We pack up suit cases of clothes and food at each house and leave them on the door step so we can come back through with our trucks later and get them. We even find quite a bit of medicine. Jane and Lara will be happy when we get back with this stuff. We have antibiotics, Neosporin, tons of Band-Aids, not to mention some hardcore pain pills.

After going through about 5 homes we head into the main part of town and take in some of the shops and look at a few apartment buildings. "Dean let's take a lunch break." Cas says sitting down on the ground pulling out his cigarettes. "You sure you don't mean cigarette break?" I laugh back at him.

Cas rolls his eyes and pulls out a sandwich and gives me a shit eating grin. "No Dean I mean lunch. You want?" He extends a sandwich out to me. I take a bite and walk around a bit. I don't feel like sitting down and getting to comfortable yet.

"I'm gonna just take a look around Cas." I tell him as I walk around the square. It's not quite winter it's still fall and it's an oddly nice day. The leaves have started to change and it's not too cold yet. I can see a few different stores that should be able to help us. There is a grocery store, shoe store, hardware store, and a... wait a minute.

I slowly turn back around and it feels like déjà vu. A hardware store. I don't have to pull out my wallet to recognize this, Samantha has made me memorize it. To my left is a red brick building with an old coca cola ad. To my right is a hardware store. I am actually at the stop sign at second street.

The instructions were clear. Daddy if you see this run. My legs start to pivot and I am ready to take off running. Before I can run I see a demon in my path. He is right in front of me with his black eyes. He wouldn't be menacing if a demon wasn't residing in him. He is smaller than me and weighs less than Cas. "Hello Dean." It sneers out.

"Cas!" I yell out. He jumps up from his spot but I can tell it's too late. They are already here and there are just too many of them. I lose count at 15. I am fucked. They surround me like locust and they are all around me.

Cas runs toward me and I know he is going to join the fight but they are after me not him. "RUN CAS!" I shout out. The demons keep moving closer and closer to me and I have nowhere to run. "CAS GET OUT OF HERE!"

"Not a chance in hell Dean!" He screams back at me has the encircle me. Their weapons are now drawn. I fire at random but it won't do much. There are just too many of them and bullets do nothing. "CAS TELL LARA AND SAM I LOVE THEM!" I shout to him.

Cas freezes in spot and looks me right in the eye. We both know it's over. I can see it in his eyes. I am dead. The demons raise their clubs and now they are so close to me that I can't see Cas anymore. "TELL THEM CAS!" I shout one more time.

The first demon I saw snickers at me. "When we are done with you I am going to find your girls Dean. I am going to fuck your woman until she begs me to kill her and then some. I am going to make her pay for what she did to our father. Maybe I'll keep her alive for a bit and pass her around the men for a few years. Then I am going to take your baby girl and bring her home with us and turn her into what she was meant to be." Before I can respond they are on me.

I feel their clubs hit me first. I fall to my knees still shooting and thrashing just hoping to take a few of them out with me. I had six good years. No six great years. It made up for all the shit years before that and it makes this ok now. I can die knowing I had Lara for six years and had my baby girl for five, it was worth it. I love you Lara is the last thought on my mind as it all goes black.

a/n leave a review if you get a chance.


	9. Chapter 9

Lara's POV

Ugh, I feel like shit. I have been throwing up most of the morning and all I want to do is crawl back into bed and go to sleep. "MOMMY!" Samantha squeals running into the living room and wrapping her arms around my legs. "Can me play with Liz and Curtis while you work with Auntie Jane?" She pleads with her big eyes.

I smile down at her and kiss her forehead. I am glad to see her smiling. She had a really rough night last night. When Dean is gone her dream of something happening to him repeats almost every night. It breaks my heart to see her screaming in her sleep. I wake her up and I hold her all night but I can't erase whatever it is she sees. "Is one of their mommy's going to be watching you guys?" I know that everyone in this camp would give up their lives for one of the children so I don't strictly have to worry but I do. If we get an "in coming" I feel better knowing another parent is going to scoop up my baby and take her to safety. She shakes her head vigorously. "Yep, Liz's mommy gonna watch us. Can I mommy please?"

"Of course. Just meet me for back at the clinic for lunch." She lets out a happy squeal and goes running outside to join her friends. I look longingly back at Dean's and I bed through the door frame and let out a moan and follow my daughter outside.

It's getting colder and I pull Dean's button up closer to my body to fight off the chill. I would have grabbed a coat if I had been thinking about it. I get to the clinic and open the door and see that Jane is already there setting up. One of the expectant mothers are coming in today for a checkup and we have some stitches to remove and broken bones to look after. Jane looks at me a winces than lets out a laugh. "You look like shit Lara."

"Thanks Jane, makes me feel great." I retort with an eye roll. Jane brings her hand up to my forehead and frowns. "Still no fever. Maybe you should go back home and rest for a bit. I got this covered today."

I shake my head no. "I don't want to sit at home. I feel better when I am out and working. What the fuck is wrong with me anyways? I hate feeling like this." I know I am whining but I am sick of being sick.

Tyler comes in first for the day. Him and a few of the men came back a few days ago with huge trucks filled with salt. I had hoped when they came that Dean would come driving up behind them but they said they were sent back early with supplies. He managed to trip and fall while he was unloading the salt and broke his arm. We set it and put it in an immobilizer and tried our best to splint it but we need more plaster to really put it in a cast and Gabe promised me he'd look for some. After him our pregnant mother comes in for a checkup. Her name is Megan and she is only 18 but it's not frowned upon like it used to be. Her and James meet last year and got together after they found her in one of the towns we scavenged. He is out with Dean now and I know he will be happy to come back to find his pregnant girl healthy and resting.

I know I should be thinking about our patients but I just want to read it one more time. Dean isn't a man of many words. I have known that since before I meet him. That doesn't mean that his words don't make my insides melt and my stomach flip though.

_Dear Lara,_

_I wish I was coming back with the men today if only to see you for five minutes and head back out but that's just not possible. I miss you so much and I think about you and Samantha every moment that I am gone. I keep my pictures close to me and make sure to look at them when no one is around. (I can see that beautiful blush spreading across your cheeks.) _

_Finding this salt was a godsend so I should be home earlier than expected. We are just going to search the town and get a feel of what they have there. I can't wait till I am back home with my two favorite ladies. _

_I miss you so much and I love you. Tell Samantha that I love her and can't wait to see her!_

_Dean_

"Are you seriously reading that again Lara?" Jane harps out behind me. I nearly jump out of my skin and hit her playfully. "Of course I am. I miss him." I say pathetically.

Jane puts her arm around my shoulder and squeezes. "I know you do honey. He'll be home soon and you'll have his undivided attention again for a few weeks."

"Then he will have to go back out." I finish quietly. I don't mean to be so melodramatic I just hate it when he leaves. I love him so much. I didn't even know I was capable of this kind of emotion after the way I was raised. Sometimes I get so frustrated because after everything we have been through we deserve to just spend time together. But instead we have to deal with the end of the world. I wonder what that Lara and her Dean are up too. I never meet that Lara. Dean has mentioned her a few times but I just wonder if they got the peace and quiet they deserve. I meet her Dean though. He was here a few years ago for three days. We tried to hide Samantha and I from him so we didn't influence his future but it was difficult. Samantha was absolutely ecstatic about the idea of her daddy's other self being her and Dean was not ecstatic about locking us up and hiding us.

We made it work though. Samantha and I said hi to him in passing and the rest of the camp helped in making it look like Dean was living a really rough and lonely life here. He said it was important for Dean to think his future was going to be miserable if he was ever going to change it and him seeing us together would not give him the motivation he needed to get the life he deserved. It was all rather confusing to me but it's all passed now.

The last few nights have been weird and I wish Dean were here with me to help. Poor Samantha's dreams have been all over the place. One hour she is dreaming that horrible dream where something happens to Dean. She has that dream so frequently that I can tell when she is having it now. Her face scrunches up in pain and her little hands curl into little fists. I hate knowing she sees something happen to her daddy. So I wake her up and comfort her. Than the next hour she wakes up saying she had the most wonderful dream about her soul mate. When I ask her about it she just blushes and says that we will meet him soon. I don't know what to do about that. My little baby shouldn't be thinking about a soul mate she's not even quite six yet!

"Returning!" I hear screamed out from a distance. I drop what I am doing and look at Jane with a huge grin. "Dean!" I shout out and run out of the clinic. The guards always shout out returning when one of our own come home. Jane smiles at me and pushes me out of the front door.

I run for the gate. Dean is coming home today! I get to the gate has it opens and I see the first truck come in with James and Roger. I can feel my heart start to beat I can't wait to see him. Then the next truck comes in with Uncle Gabe and Tyr. Neither of them will look at me. It doesn't matter I will figure that out later. Then the last truck comes in with just Cas. My heart fully stops. "Dean?" I call out. The trucks come to a stop and Cas gets out and runs to me. "Where is he Cas?" I stutter out. I can't seem to breath. My chest hurts and my head is spinning.

"Lara I am so sorry." He cries out. I push him away from me. "Where is he Cas?" I scream out. Before he can respond I hear a blood curdling cry behind me and I whip around to see my baby girl screaming in the middle of the dirt road near the entrance.

I take off to her and grab her. "I told him mommy! I told him run!" She screams out. She falls to her knees and clutches her head in her hands. I can tell a vision is coming on. Her nose starts to bleed and I hold her to me. I look up at Cas and Uncle Gabe. "Where is he?" I shout out frantically.

They walk over to us slowly and get on their knees next to us. Uncle Gabe puts his hand on Samantha's back and I can tell she has passed out. "Lara I am sorry. There was nothing we could do. There were too many of them and they came out of nowhere."

"no, no, NO!" I mumble out. It's not possible. Dean always comes home. "No he has to be alright. He is fine you just didn't look close enough. I would know if he had died." I cry out. Cas grabs me into a hug.

"I was there Lara. They surrounded him and there was nothing we could do. We searched for him just in case afterwards for a few days but he's gone Lara. I am so sorry. I would have traded places with him if I could have." I look at him and I can tell he is telling me the truth.

"NO! NO!" I scream out. I feel another set of hands on me and I look over to see Jane holding me. "It's not right! Dean is fine! Get Dean!" I shout at them. I start to hyperventilate and it's not long before it goes black.

I come to again in my bed and I can smell him. I roll over wanting to cuddle into him and tell him all about the horrible dream I just had. But my arms touch only air then his pillow. I sit up in bed and I see Samantha cuddled up in a ball next to me. I frantically look around for Dean but only find Jane and Cas in my room. "No please just no." I cry out. Uncle Gabe comes running into the room with the sound of my voice.

He jumps in the bed and pulls me into him and lets me sob into his chest. "Let it out sweet heart just let it out." I continue to cry into his chest until my eyes are so sore I swear they must be bleeding. I feel movement next to me and I look down to see Samantha slowly waking up.

Her eyes reach mine and her lips start to quiver. "It happened. Daddy gone." She says sadly and starts to cry. I pull her to me and she cries into my lap. "I sorry mommy. I try. I really try. I told him!" She cries out.

I kiss her head and hold my baby to me. "Oh honey this isn't your fault. I know you tried honey but there was nothing we could do. It's not your fault honey." Samantha continues to wail in my arms while I cry in Uncle Gabe's. "It my fault mommy!" She sobs out.

"No honey this isn't your fault. Don't think that." Samantha stops talking and just cries. My chest hurts and I know this pain will never go away. He is gone and there nothing that can ever fill me again. I am just a shell.

I look at my family and friends in my room. "Please we need some time together." I say through my tears. They all shake their heads and leave my room. I continue to hold Samantha until she cries herself to sleep. Once she goes to sleep I tuck her into our bed and get up on shaky feet and walk into the living room. I shut the door quietly behind me and look at Jane, Cas, Uncle Gabe, and Tyr who are all in the living room. I try to speak but all that comes out is a sob and I fall to my knees unable to stand.

Cas is on me in an instant and helps me to my feet and escorts me to the couch. "How did it happen?" I cry out. Cas keeps an arm around me and looks at his brother who nods. "It was my fault Lara I should have..." I shake my head. "This wasn't your fault." I say quietly.

Cas looks shaken and I can tell that he has cried recently. "It's just like Samantha saw it. Same location and everything. We were taking a break and before I knew it we were surrounded. In his last moments he told me to tell you and Samantha that he loves you." I let out another sob and fall on his chest. Before I know what is happening I am throwing up all over Cas. I look up at him in horror and start to apologize but he shakes his head no and stands up. Uncle Gabe takes his place and Cas leaves to change his clothes I assume.

"I am so sorry Lara. If I had known what was going to happen I never would have let him out of my sight but the town seemed clear. It's like they knew we would be there and hide until it was just him." I can tell they all feel horrible and would have willingly switched place with Dean but it doesn't change the fact that Dean is gone. The love of my life is gone.

My chest feels like someone has reached in and ripped out my heart. I'm actually surprised when I look down that my chest doesn't have a gaping hole. It's not fair. We only have 6 years. 6 of the only years of my life that meant anything. They have been perfect. God how could you do this to me? To us? How can you take him away from me after everything you have already let happen? This isn't something I will ever heal from. And what do I do with Samantha? She already blames herself? How am I going to raise her on my own?

No one says anything to me. There is nothing to say. There are no words to help ease my pain. If Samantha wasn't here I would kill myself I know that. I wouldn't have even waited this long. The moment they said he was gone I would have taken my own life. But I can't leave my baby. She needs me. Cas comes back into the house with a clean outfit and I cry on Uncle Gabe until I fall asleep again.

2 months later

I don't bother getting out of bed most days unless Samantha does. I let her dictate my life. If she wants to go outside I go outside. If she wants to sleep in bed I stay in bed. If she wants to cry I hold her while she cries. I can hardly eat. Every time I look at food I throw up and it just hurts to much to think about swallowing it.

Today is not unlike most days. Samantha and I are holed up in Dean's and my bed and we are holding onto each other like our lives are over. My poor baby sees her daddy die every night in her sleep and there is nothing I can do about it. Where just two months ago I was nervous about her dreams about her soul mate now I pray for them. At least they give her a moment reprieve.

Jane came by this morning and left food for us and cleaned out my chamber pot. She is a good, no a great friend, but I can't find it in me to say that. It hurts to talk. I hate hearing my voice, I hate the sound of it breaking. So I reserve my words for my daughter. I hear the lunch bell ring and Samantha cuddles into me further. "No want to go mommy. Want to stay here." I kiss her forehead. "Then we won't go."

I assumed everyone had gone to lunch but I hear steps on my front door and they come into my room. "Lara?" Jane asks from the other side of the door. "Yes." I reply quietly. The door opens and Jane, Cas, and Uncle Gabe come into the bedroom. They all look nervous. Well Cas looks stoned out of his mind. All the work we did trying to get him sober has failed in these past 2 months. God two months? It feels like two hundred years. How can I keep this up? How can I live in this kind of pain. "What is it?" I ask slightly agitated. I don't need people gawking at me.

Jane takes a seat next to me and she is holding something in her hand. "I wasn't sure but there were signs Lara. So I did a test. Lara...I don't know how to say this... but Lara..." Jane looks up at Cas and Uncle Gabe for help. Uncle Gabe moves to stand next to me and wipes the hair out of my face and leans down and kisses my forehead. He grabs whatever is in Jane's hand and extends it to me. I look at it not able to reconcile what I am looking at. It is just a white stick with a pink plus sign on it. I give them all a confused look. "What is this?" I ask them sitting up in bed starting to get worried.

Samantha holds on to my other hand and for the first time in two months she smiles. She rests her hand on my stomach. "I see mommy. I see it. You give me sister." She says happily. I jump out of the bed and look at the people surrounding me. Samantha gets out of the bed and stands next to me and lays her head on my stomach. "Me sister." She says quietly.

"How?" I stutter out in shock. Jane shrugs her shoulders. "I guess it was a miracle."

"Don't you dare say that! There are no such thing as miracles and God is long gone from this place!" I won't allow God to take credit for what is growing inside of me. Uncle Gabe puts a supportive arm around me. "But it is my dear. Maybe your body just healed or maybe this is the last gift Dean will ever give you but this is a miracle."

I turn into him and start to cry into his neck. He's right. It is a miracle. Dean's miracle not God's. "Dean." I moan out in pain. My hand flutters to my stomach now thinking of the life growing in me. All I ever wanted was to give Dean a child and know I will. But he won't ever know it. "I can't not without him." I cry out. Uncle Gabe puts his arms around me and rubs my back.

"You will darling you will. I know it seems impossible but you will. But you need to start taking better care of yourself. Starting with eating three meals a day." I slowly shake my head in agreement. I may not be able to stop grieving but I can grow Dean's child in me and allow it to grow.

Wait a minute. It's not an it. Sam said it was her sister. I look down at Samantha and caress her face. "Did you say I was having a girl honey?" I ask her. She smiles and kisses my stomach. "I see her! She baby girl."

I can't help but rub my stomach. "Deanna." I whisper out. Cas' eyes flash sadness along with Jane's. Samantha shakes her head in agreement and Uncle Gabe kisses my temple. "That's right Lara. Deanna, now you need to come eat with us."

I can do this for her. I can put myself together enough to give birth to her, my little Deanna. Then I will put on a brave face and raise both my girls on my own. Then finally when they are grown and settled I can give up and die myself and join my Dean. I look up at the heavens for a moment. "Only another 20 years before I can give up and join you." I think to myself. 20 years is a long time to go without him but for our girls I can.

a/n so what do you all think? please review if you have time.


	10. Chapter 10

Lara's POV

This time around it is so different. Even though I didn't know if the baby was Sam's or Lucifer's I had Dean so it didn't matter. He was there with me and I knew either way my baby would be well cared for. Now I don't know. If I die I know that Jane or Gabriel or even Cas will take care of my baby. Only Cas is so stoned all the time now I wouldn't ask him to raise my daughters. He misses Dean too. We miss him very differently. Cas lost his best friend, his first friend at that. They had been a team fighting evil for years. I lost my reason to live. I lost the reason I breath. I lost my heart and soul. I try to keep myself somewhat alive because of Sam and my daughter that is soon to be born but it hurts. Every day I wake up without Dean next to me hurts. At night I have these wonderful dreams of Dean being back with me then I wake up lone in bed. Or I wake up with Samantha with me. That helps a lot.

I try to help her. She is pain as well. She misses her daddy and almost every night she relives his death. Some nights she dreams of this mystery soul mate that she tells me is coming. I don't think she truly knows what she is talking about. When I ask her about her soul mate she just smiles at me. She then tilts her head a bit and laughs well more of chuckle. She then says. "You know mommy! It's like you and daddy. Soul mates." It hurts for her to mention Dean but it helps too. His name brings a wave of pain and a wave of love through me. I don't know which will win and drown me. Will I drown under the weight of the pain? Or will I be able to accept that it's in the past and drown in the wave of love I know he felt for me?

I'm 8 maybe 9 months pregnant now. We don't have the medical technology to truly know how far along I am. We made love so frequently that it's almost impossible to know when I actually conceived. God I miss him. I miss him next to me. I miss him holding my hand. I miss him making love to me. I miss his scent. I just want him back. I want him next to me like he should be. Only 19 years and 2 months till I can allow myself to just give up and join him again.

The last time I was pregnant everything was different. I was scared but he was there. I remember the first time Samantha kicked in me. I was in my bed trying to sleep but I was uncomfortable. The morning sickness was finally over but I had to go the bathroom constantly and I felt exhausted all the time. I was lying there just trying to fall asleep. Then I felt the flutter. Samantha was kicking away in me. I let out a shriek of surprise and Dean came running in to my room. He was wearing a thread bare grey tshirt with a pair of low loose hanging grey and red flannel sleeping pants. He was a bit disheveled with his hair sticking up a bit of everywhere. He had a gun raised and looked frantic. "What is it Lara? What's wrong?" He yelled out. His eyes were wide and scanning the room for a threat. I wanted him so bad then. He was the most handsome man I had ever seen and he made my heart pound in my chest. That just made Samantha kick harder.

I smiled at him and reached for his hand. "No Dean it's the baby. It's kicking! Come quick!" I yelled at him. He put the gun on my dresser and allowed me to grab his hand and place it over my womb. I looked up at him and smiled. "Just wait a minute it will kick again." I tell him. We sit there in silence for a moment then the baby kicked again and Dean looked me like I invented electricity. "That's amazing Lara!" He told me. I moved over in the bed and let him crawl in next to me. He kept his hand over Samantha and we laid there until we feel asleep feeling Samantha kick. It was the best night of my life thus far. Dean was in bed with me and I knew I was safe. I knew I could go to sleep and not worry about anything. The next morning when I woke Dean was still there. I laid there in bed staring at him breathing for about an hour. That is the moment I realized I loved him.

This time around the first time I felt my baby kick I wanted to cry. Dean isn't here to shout to. He wasn't here to feel his baby kicking. All I have wanted since Samantha was born was to give Dean a baby and now I am and he's not alive to enjoy it. He would have loved knowing his baby was growing in me. He was so happy with Samantha I can only imagine how over the top he would have been with his own daughter.

How am I going to survive the birth? Last time Dean kept me going. This time I have nothing to keep me going. No Lara that isn't true. You have Samantha and you will have Deanna to keep you going. Dean would want you to stay with them until they are adults to make sure they had a mother growing up. I can do this. I can survive another 19 years and 2 months. Why 20 years? Dammit Lara stop questioning it. 18 would be to suspicious and they would all assume you killed yourself. 20 years could be realistic.

Cas and Gabriel are trying to keep me excited and happy about my baby. They recently went into town and got me another crib. Samantha's was a convertible one and is now her bed. They got me a new one and set it up in Samantha's room. They also got me a basinet for Dean's and I room. Samantha is so excited to have a baby sister. She still cries at the loss of her father but she has been able to heal. She can still smile sometimes and the sound of her laughter makes me almost able to smile.

"Mommy! Mommy!" I can hear Samantha yelling from the porch. I force myself up and put a slight smile on my face even though I know it comes off like a grimace because Samantha sounds happy. I walk to the door and Samantha grabs on to my legs. "Big surprise coming today mommy!" Samantha tells me happily.

I run my hands through her hair and lean down and kiss her forehead. "What is it honey?" I ask her. For a moment I hope she is going to tell me that Dean is coming but I know she would flat out tell me that Dean was coming back and not play games with me.

Samantha shakes her head no. "No Mommy it's not daddy." She says sadly like she can read my mind. Her eyes clouding over with tears. "It's something big but not daddy. I'm sorry mommy." I lean down further which is difficult with her sister in me and kiss her forehead.

Before I can even right myself I hear those dreaded words. "IN COMING!" Are being shouted throughout the camp. For a moment everything is quiet. It is obvious everyone is afraid. Then everyone moves. The providers move for safety and the fighters move to fight.

Before Dean... before Dean... God this is hard... before Dean died I was a provider even though I was an excellent shot. Without Dean there has been a lack of leadership in the camp. For the first two months I laid in bed oblivious to the problems of the camp. After I found out I was pregnant I was forced to wake up and look around me and see the problems. I have began filling Dean's shoes has leader with the help of Gabe and Cas. It takes three of us to do what Dean did single handedly but we just aren't able to function like he did.

Jane comes running into my cabin. "Lara come with me into the safe room." She tells me frantically grabbing the trap door. I shake my head. "No Jane it is my job to keep everyone safe. I will go out there. Just watch over her please." Jane gets a frustrated look on her face and I know she wants me to hide with her but I have to do this. I have to help.

"No mommy this is my surprise. It's not bad." Samantha tells me. I smile at her and walk her to Jane. "Go with Aunt Jane and I am going to go check it out."

"No mommy I want to come with!" She cries out grabbing on to my legs. I look at Jane and she knows that I want her to get Samantha. "After I know it is safe honey." Samantha starts to cry but Jane pick her up and takes her into the safe room.

I walk out of the cabin and Gabe meets me with a shot gun. "Should you be out here honey?" He asks me. I smirk at him and take the gun. "I am where I need to be." I can't run so we walk to the gate. All the fighters are lined up and in place. We are ready to defend what is ours, to the death if need be.

They are coming. There are three of them. It's hard to see but it looks like two adult males and a young child. One of the males looks really tall. It makes me worried. I notice that I haven't exhaled or taken a breath for moment and I release the breath I was holding.

"Stop where you are or we will shoot!" One of my men yell out. The three figures stop and they all hold up their hands. "We will come to you." I look to Cas and even though his eyes are glossy I know he can do this.

"Go out there with Tyr and bring them in. We will put them in the holding cabin and decide what to do with them." Cas nods and him and Tom go out.

They are gone for a few minutes. I give orders to the rest of the men and they all form up ready to bring in the newcomers. They have been able to cross the field with our wards up and I see Cas throwing holy water on them so I know they aren't demons. I relax slightly when Cas starts to escort them back. He wouldn't bring back someone who was infected or was a demon.

"Why don't you go ahead and sit down in the cabin and I will bring them to you. Then you can ask your questions and get them situated." Uncle Gabe suggests. I shake my head in agreement. I am feeling tired and my feet hurt. "Bring them to me immediately I am going to set up the rest of the tests."

I hear the little feet hitting the ground and I turn around to see Samantha running up to me. "Mommy please I need to be here!" She says grabbing a hold of my legs. I look behind her to see Jane running after her. "I am sorry Lara she ran out before I could grab her. She is an escape artists!" She pants out.

I chuckle and shake my head. "No she is a Winchester." I grab Samantha's hand. "You can come with me but if I tell you to leave with Jane or your uncles you do so without questioning me alright?" Samantha shakes her head yes and follows me. She is so sure in her visions and they have been proven right so many times that I will allow this. God help any living creature that would try and hurt my daughter. I will kill them in an instant.

We get to the cabin and I start to set up different tests. I look up and I see all the devils traps are still set and the salt lines are still solid around the perimeter of the building. We will know in seconds if they aren't human. I set out the holy water, the silver, and anything else that Dean has set up for these tests. I am ready for them.

There is a knock on the door and Gabriel puts his head through. "Lara I want you to sit down." He states. I give him a questioning look and he comes into the cabin and escorts me to a chair. "What's going on Uncle Gabe?" I ask him afraid.

"I don't know Lara." He replies. Cas comes in behind him with the newcomers in tow and they are surrounded by a few men. First a man comes in. He looks tired and scared. He has a child tightly in his grasps and looks ready to fight for this child's safety. The child is a young boy with dark brown hair and grey blue eyes. He looks scared too. He might be 8 or 10 but I'm not sure. Then I look up at the tall one. It takes me moment to look up high enough to reach his gaze. "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!" I shout out getting to my feet grabbing a gun and knife.

"Lara?" He stutters out. I cross the room as quickly as I can and put a knife to his neck. "Don't you fucking act like you know me! You are dead! I know this because I am the one who put the blade through your heart!" I yell angrily.

"MOMMY NO!" Samantha yells out behind me grabbing me and trying to pull me away from the creature wearing her Papa Sam.

The creature cringes. "Lara it is me. I know that you put the blade through me. I was there but this is me." I shake my head in disbelief and take a step back. "It's me Lara." He looks down at my swollen abdomen. "I've only been dead a few months right? You're still pregnant."

I take a step back and give a look to Cas who grabs Sam's arms. "It's been over 6 years Sam. Our child was born. This child is Dean's." I tell him putting a protective hand over my baby and another one around Samantha.

"It was ours? Not Lucifer's child?" He asks. I shake my head yes. I now notice that tears are pouring down my face. "It can't be you. You have been dead for over 6 years."

He doesn't fight me. Samantha keeps telling me that Sam is real and who he says but I still test him just like Dean taught me. He's not a creature it appears it is Sam. "Ok now that I know it is you." Then I latch on to him and hold him tightly and start to sob. "Sam I have missed you so much. I am so sorry. I don't know what came over me. I have missed you so much."

Sam just holds me and rubs my back. "It's alright. You did what I asked. I begged you to kill me every time I could." Samantha comes up to me and pulls on my shirt. I look down at her and she smiles. "Can I hug Papa Sam too?" She asks.

I look up at Sam. "Sam I want you to meet our daughter Samantha." I tell him quietly. He gets down on his knee and hugs Samantha tightly. They both start to cry. "You are so big Samantha and you are just the most beautiful little girl I have ever seen." He gushes over her.

He looks up at me and smiles. "Where is Dean? I want to see him." He asks. I feel my legs start to give out and before I can fall over Uncle Gabe catches me and escorts me to a chair. Samantha grabs Sam's hand. "Daddy Dean... he... he no here Papa." She tells him.

Sam looks at me begging me to tell him it isn't true with his eyes. I shake my head yes. "I am sorry Sam. Dean died a 7 months ago. "

"I saw it like you used to see things Papa." Samantha tells him. The man and child that were traveling with Sam shift and Samantha looks at the boy. She lets go of Sam and runs to the boy and holds on to him. "RYAN!" She shouts out. The older man looks at me nervously but the boy just holds her completely confused.

So this is him. Samantha's soul mate I think with a smirk. I look at Tyr. "Go tell Chuck to get a cabin ready for Ryan and his..." The man with Ryan looks up at me wide eyed and confused. "his Father, Harry."

"Go tell Chuck to get a cabin ready for Ryan and Harry." I look at Sam who is looking at his daughter like she the messiah. "Sam will stay in my cabin." I want him to have time with Samantha. Tyr leaves and I know he will take care of it.

"How did you come back?" I ask him. Sam looks away from Samantha and up at me. "They couldn't figure out what to do with me. Hell didn't want me because I helped in the death of Lucifer and heaven didn't want me because I was Lucifer's vessel. I was bounced between to the two for a long time. After another round of their fight I ended up in purgatory. There was a woman there named Eve who took care of me while they decided. She told them that I haven't done enough evil for hell or enough good for heaven and that I deserved a second shot. She told them to send me back here and let what happens next decide. Both heaven and hell agreed." Sam looks up at Cas. "Cas Eve wanted me to tell you that when you die mortal you can come to her."

Cas' eyes grow wide. "She said I could come to her?" He asks. Sam shakes his head yes. "She said if you still want her you can come to purgatory and be with her." Cas' face relaxes. I have never seen him like this. He looks actually happy.

I look at Harry and Ryan. "How did you all meet up?" I ask them. Ryan looks to his father and Samantha walks back to me and hugs my leg. "We were hiding when we ran into Sam on a supply run. He helped keep us safe and told us he knew of a safe camp. Which I assume is here." I shake my head yes and Tyr comes back in and shakes his head.

"Let's show you both to your new home." I tell them. We all leave the cabin and I follow Tyr to the cabin that Chuck is in front of. Harry is walking with me keeping a careful eye on his son who is off running with Samantha. "It only has one room but it's a big room and I'll have another bed brought asap." Chuck tells us. I smile and walk up the stairs with Samantha, Ryan, and Harry following me.

I open the door and lead them inside. "This will be your new home. I know it doesn't look like much but it's safe. We have fences, wards, and salt protecting us. We have a bathing and bathroom center and a cafeteria that we all eat at three times a day."

Harry smiles has Ryan takes in their new home. "No this is great. This is the best place we've been at in years." Samantha walks over to Ryan and takes his hand and they smile at each other. This is going to be a problem. "Samantha honey come with me so they can get adjust to their new home." Samantha gives me a pouty look but I put my hand out for her to take. She listens to me and follows me out of the cabin.

When I am off the porch I look at Tyr. "Watch them until we know they are not a threat for sure." He shakes his head in agreement. I know he will take care of this. Then I look at Jane. "Please take Sammie while I talk to Sam." Jane takes Samantha's hand and they go off to her cabin.

I take Sam and walk to Dean's and I cabin and sit down on the sofa next to him. Before I can start talking I start to sob and fall on him. He doesn't say anything and just comforts me. "He died Sam. I only had him a few years and he died. The demons got him." I sob into his chest.

"I wish I could make it better. I would bring him back if I knew how Lara I swear." He tells me. I can't believe Sam is back. I can't believe that he was in hell, heaven, and purgatory. But it makes sense. He wasn't good enough for heaven or bad enough for hell so they spit him out. Gabe has insisted that Dean would go to heaven and not hell. He promised that even though heaven has sealed its gates for angels that for human souls it is still open. He promises that St. Peter would never abandon his post and would always care for the souls of the dead no matter what. Gabriel told me about my other children that I never had that are in heaven waiting for me. He promised they were there to meet Dean with open arms. That's when he explained to me about Balthazar. I never meet him but Gabriel said he was my daughter Daphne's guardian and that they were finally reunited. I never meet those children in this life so I can only pray that they are keeping Dean safe and he is able to be happy with them until we are reunited. "Did you see him?" I cry out.

Sam shakes his head no. "I never was allowed inside heaven's gates so no I didn't see him. In hell I was in a waiting room and I spent most of the time I can remember in purgatory. I am sorry." We sit there for what seems like hours even though I know it's only been maybe minutes holding on to each other.

My stomach starts to cramp and I look down at my pants are wet. "Sam I need your help. My water just broke and I need to get to Jane." I tell him as calmly has I can manage. Sam's eyes nearly bulge out of his head and he stands up and picks me up easily. I direct him to the medical cabin and see Gabriel on the way. "Get Jane and tell her I'm in labor." I yell at him.

Sam gets me on the bed in the medical cabin and takes a seat next to me holding me hand. "I know I'm not Dean but I am here for you Lara. You are my best friend." I look at him and force out a smile. "You are my best friend too Sam. Thanks." I feel a contraction and I scream out.

Jane comes running into the cabin and gets between my legs immediately. She looks up at Sam. "Help me get her out of her pants." She says calmly. She is good at his. They both work in unison to get my pants off and Sam puts a few pillows behind my back to help prop me up. "Ok Lara we can do this." Jane tells me.

I shake my head no. "Not without Dean. Please not without Dean." I cry out. Cas comes into the room and runs to my other side. "You have to Lara. You have to do this so Dean's baby girl can live. We will do this all together Lara. You, me, Jane, and Sam. We will do this together. Gabe is with Samantha so don't you worry."

"I want Dean!' I shout out with my next contraction. Cas moves the sweaty hair from my face. "I know you do sweet heart but we will have to do."

The next few hours are rough. Just like last time my body is fighting the birth tooth and nail. Unlike last time I don't have Dean with me assuring me everything will be alright. In the end his declaration of love is what kept me going and not just slipping under and going. But dammit I need to do this for my daughters. I can't give up.

I feel another contraction and I start to moan. Jane is immediately at attention and trying to guide Deanna out and Cas and Sam both have a hand. Jane looks up and meets my eyes. "Just push a few more times Lara. I can see the head." She tells me hopefully.

Sam tightens his grip on my hands and I look up at him and he smiles. "Come on Lara you can do it. Just a few more pushes and you can meet your daughter." He assures me. I focus on that. I am going to Dean's daughter soon. I push with all my might and I feel a bit of pressure break. "Come on Lara keep pushing!" Jane yells. I keep pushing and finally the pressure is gone. I let out a sigh and fall back exhausted on the pillows behind me.

"I want my baby please." I moan out. Jane quickly cuts the cord and wraps her up in a towel and hands her to me while she finishes up with the afterbirth. I look down at my girl. She is perfect. I check her for her 10 perfect fingers and her 10 little toes. She starts to cry out quietly and I pull her to me and kiss her forehead. "It's ok Deanna your mommy is here." I coo over her.


	11. Chapter 11

Lara's POV

The sun starts to filter through the curtains and fill the darkness of my room. I hate sunny days. My heart feels so dark how can it be so sunny. I roll over and try to avoid the light for a few more minutes. It's the 1845th day I have had to wake up without Dean beside me. I only have 5661 more days until I can just give up and join him. I wonder what he is doing right now. Is he watching me? Is he watching us? Does he miss me as much as I miss him? Stop it Lara! You can't be so depressed all the time. Your two wonderful daughters need you.

My daughters. They are the only things that make me smile much anymore. I dart my hands out and open the drawer to my bedside table. I have pictures of Dean up in the house but I have some private pictures just like he had of me that I kept with me. There is one of him giving me a crocked cocky grin while he is happily nestled in between my legs. I sometimes forget how amazing his body was. It's becoming hard to remember how his skin felt under my hands when I loved him. The other one is of us. I accidently hit it on timer and didn't even know one night while was on my bedside table. My back is arched up and his lips are on collar bone. I ache for him.

"Papa Sama!" My youngest squeals from the living room. I hear the door shut behind him. He loves spending time with his daughter and niece. Deanna calls him Papa Sama just like her big sister, who she idolizes. "Hey there De De!" He replies. I can just see him picking her up in his arms and kissing her forehead.

About two years ago I had to step in and make Sam admit his feelings for Jane. He had been staying with me on a mattress on my floor. I needed him to wake me up from my nightmares but I couldn't have him in Dean's bed. It upsets me too much to have anyone besides one of his girls in bed with me. Sam and Jane had been flirting for years. They would give each other these secrete smiles and couldn't stop staring at each other. Finally I had to kick his ass in gear.

_Sam's eyes follow Jane has she picks up her food and moves to our table. I roll my eyes again unable to understand why he doesn't just tell her he is hopelessly in love with her. "Mama." De De says pulling on my arm. I look over and give her the biggest smile I can wear. "Yes honey?" _

_ De De shuffles up and gets in my lap. "No feel good mama." She says rubbing her head on my chest. I kiss her forehead. It does feel a bit hot. I nudge Sam slightly and of course he jumps. He was to focused on Jane, once again. Not that I can blame him. She is quite beautiful. I just never thought Sam would have a thing for gingers. "Sam De De doesn't feel good. I am going to take her back home. Can you take care of Sammie?"_

_ "Of course." He tells me with a big smile. He puts his arm around Samantha's shoulders and she leans into him. Samantha loves having her Papa Sam home but I know she misses her Daddy Dean terribly, just like me. _

_ Jane is now watching Sam. Her emerald green eyes glazing over. I can tell she is going into day dream mode. I snap my fingers and she jumps and looks up at me. Her freckled cheeks start to turn pink with a blush. They are ridiculous._

_ I pull De De up in my arms and carry her back to our cabin. I put her in my bed and change her back into her pajamas and put a cold cloth on her head. I'll just have to watch over her. "Read me mama please?" She begs with the most pathetic pout to her lips. She has my hair color but Dean's beautiful eyes and full lips. I grad the Babar story out of her room and settle in next to her. _

_ After we read the book twice she dozes off to sleep. I hear the door to the cabin open and I hear Sam and Samantha trying to be quiet. I make sure my baby is tucked in and go out to meet them. "Sammy honey why don't you go play with Ryan in case De De is contagious." Her hazel eyes grow wide with happiness. She loves being with her soul mate. In a flash she runs out of the cabin to be with him._

_ Sam plops down on the couch and I take a seat next to him. I have decided I have had enough of their games and I hit him upside the head. "OW! What the hell Lara." He winces. _

_ "That is for being a dumbass!" I hiss back. He gives me a confused look. "What the hell did I do?"_

_ I take in a deep breath and just shake my head. "Jane you dumbass. I can tell you love her. I can tell she loves you too. Hell the entire camp knows how you both feel except for you two. So I want you to go over to her cabin right now and tell her how you feel. Then you can kiss her, have sex, and make babies! Then hopefully you'll stop eye fucking her." Wow that felt great to get of f my chest._

_ Sam's face turns bright red and he looks down. "It's that obvious huh?" I let out a chuckle has a response. "I can't Lara."_

_ I hit him again. "No you won't Sam. Big difference." Sam looks up at me and I can see the pain in his eyes. "What's wrong Sam?"_

_ "I can't do it. I don't want to leave you. If I tell her how I feel you will be alone here. I like being here with you and the girls." He lets out. I put my arm around his shoulders and pull him into me. "Sam that is the biggest load of crap I have ever heard." I respond with a chuckle._

_ He looks up at me with an indignant look and I kiss his forehead. "I will be fine alone. And you can be with the girls all you want. We live in a small community it's not like we won't be literally next door."_

_ "I would feel guilty." He whispers. _

_ I kiss the crown of his head. I don't like the idea of him not being with the woman he loves because of me. "Sam I want you with her. Whether you follow your heart or not I will still be heartbroken. And don't you think Dean would want you happy?" He looks at me again and I can tell I am finally getting through to him._

Later that afternoon he ran to Jane's cabin and professed his undying love for her. She of course responded similarly and they have been together ever since. Jane is expecting their first child even.

"Papa Sama, story bout Daddy." De De's voice creeps through my room even though I know she is trying to be quiet. "Have I told you about the time that your daddy saved a boy from a wendigo?"

I can hear the awe in De De's response. "Wow... no!" She responds. I stay in bed has Sam tells her about one of the many times her heroic father saved someone. I can feel the tears pushing behind me eyes. I slowly get up and get dressed. I haven't moved any of Dean's things out and I wear his clothes sometimes.

Once I open the door I am greeted by the sight of Dean's daughter sitting in her uncle's lap with the family photo book open on their laps. "And that is one of your mommy and daddy at Sam's 3rd birthday." Sam tells De De.

De De looks up at Sam with her big green eyes. "If dada here he love me too?" She asks sadly. Sam breaks into a big grin and kisses her forehead. "If your daddy was here he would love you so much Deanna." That gets a smile out of her.

"Your daddy would have loved to meet you Deanna. He would have never let you down has a baby." I tell her. She looks at me like I caught her with her hand in the cookie jar. "What's wrong honey?" I ask pulling her out of Sam's arms and into mine.

She leans her head on my chest. "Sorry mama. I no wanna make you sad." I kiss her forehead. "Honey talking about your daddy doesn't make me sad. You can always ask me about him." De De shakes her head in understanding.

A stampede of feet come up out stairs has Samantha and Ryan came barreling through our door. "Hey Mom! We are gonna get the basket ball and play for a bit." Sam tells me running into her room with Ryan trailing behind her. With a flash they are gone again.

I take a seat on the couch with De De still in my lap. I pull up the photo book on the seat next to me and flip through some of the pages. Dean's wonderful smile greeting me from the pages. I can feel the familiar sting in my eyes . "How is Jane today?" I ask Sam.

His whole face brightens, the same way I assumed Dean's would have whenever people would have asked him about his daughter. "She is great. The morning sickness is finally gone."

There is another familiar crunch on the gravel outside and Cas and Uncle Gabe come into the cabin. I am so relieved to see Cas' eyes clear. Ever since Sam told him Eve has offered him a place with her he has stopped most his vices. He hasn't touched a woman or drugs since. He says he needs to be as pure as possible when he meets her again. Uncle Gabe explained to me who she is to him and how much Cas missed her.

"Unka Cas! Unka Gab!" De De yells out wiggling out of lap to grab onto her uncles. "Hey baby girl." Uncle Gabe says pulling her up into his arms. Cas leans in and they exchange sloppy kisses.

"Tyr wants to know if you wanna go out on a perimeter check today." Cas asks me while smiling at De De. If I didn't have Sam, Jane, Cas, and Gabe I don't know what I would do. They have supported me through all of this. None of them ever push me to just get over Dean like so many of the women in the camp do. I can see it in their god damned eyes that they want me to just move on. I have seen many of the widows move on but I just can't. I lost my soul mate, the other half of me. How do you move on from that?

"Yeah I'll go. You guys watch the girls?" They all shake their heads and I tie my boots up. I strap on my favorite pistol and grab my AK-47. I find Tyr near the gate. He waves at me and I give him a forced smile. He's one of the reasons the women want me to move on. They think we would make a great couple. Luckily Tyr knows Dean is my one and only and would never even try it with me.

"Hey boss! Ready to sweep the perimeter?" He asks with a big goofy grin. I wave at the guys at the gate and they let us out. "Let's roll." I respond. We walk the perimeter of the camp. A few of the traps needed re painted and we laid down some salt. We recently tore up some iron train tracks and surrounded the camp with those too.

Some how I have kind of become the new leader of this group. I think people trusted me because I was Dean's woman. I do a decent job but I know that Dean would do a better Job than me. Cas, Gabe, and Sam help me with the camp just like in my private life.

We work in relative quiet. It's the safest way to work when outside the gates. You never know what you might run into and the best way to hear them is to stay quiet. I don't go out on the runs though. I have two babies at home. I can't just go away for weeks at time. Sam goes out though. Jane for the first time understands why it made me so nervous to have Dean out.

With the camp gates in sight I feel a sigh of relief escape my lips. Another successful mission. I can tell Tyr is a bit more relaxed now too. He puts his arm lightly around my shoulder. "You doing alright Lara?" I turn my head slightly and give him a confused look. He knows the answer to that question. I am never alright. I am able to keep myself mostly together but it's like a bad surgery. The holds are infected and the seams are always ready to rip apart. "I heard you crying out last night."

That makes me blush a bit. The camp was used to be crying out when Dean was still here. Now they are used to me screaming out from my nightmares. It's pathetic but often times Cas or Uncle Gabe now stays on the mattress on the floor of my room. I can't wake myself up when I go to those dark places. Sometimes the dark place is a memory from the past. Sometimes its imagining Dean getting killed. Sometimes it's of Dean being tortured in hell. I guess it doesn't matter what dream it is. In the end it's the same result, me screaming out until someone wakes me up. Dean always woke me up and made me feel safe. "It was a rough night that's all."

His arm tightens around me trying to give me quiet strength. "If you ever wanna talk about your dreams you know you can talk to me."

I notice I am biting my lip I must be anxious. "It was just a rough night Tyr. I kept dreaming of Dean being tortured by demons. It was horrible. Samantha has seen it and it must be from when Dean was in the pit and the idea has just taken root when I sleep." Samantha still has premonitions especially in her sleep. She keeps a note book and now that she is older she illustrates them sometimes. She really is quite talented. Enough so that I know exactly what she saw happen to Dean. She tries to hide those ones from me. She thinks they hurt me but I have explained to her that she needs to share it with me so I can help. Sometimes she does other times she goes to Sam.

"Don't worry Lara. That was in the past. He is in heaven waiting for you." He tells me trying to raise my spirits. I do like that idea. The idea that Dean is watching over all of us. That he can see his daughters grow up.

We walk in companionable silence for a while longer. "So how are you doing Tyr?" I ask him back. All of his, Shiva's, and Parviti's powers have disappeared. They are fully mortal now and it is difficult on them sometimes just like it was for Uncle Gabe and Cas.

He just shrugs his shoulders at me. "It sucks but not much I can do. No way to get them back. The world has lost all its religions. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Nothing has power anymore, which in the end I guess is good for us right? I mean the demons they can't juice up anymore." He's right that is a silver lining. The demons are as powerless as us now. They can't do a damn thing we can't and we can kill them easily. And even better they still have the same weaknesses for salt and devils traps. This isn't how it was suppose to go. Uncle Gabe has told me about the heaven on earth that was supposed to happen. He is still furious at his brothers and father for abandoning earth. Dean tried to get Michael to use him and stop this madness but it was too late. Gabe thinks they went to a new planet. He says if he saw his father right now he would probably spit in his face for allowing this to happen to us.

The whole camp spends the rest of day living our lives. This is all we have and we have to build it up. The sounds of children laughing are the one beautiful thing left. We are rebuilding. We have all debated trying to take over a housing development instead of staying in this camp. I am torn. I don't want to leave Dean's and mine home but if it's better for my girls and everyone else I need to think about it. We have started searching for a suitable community . It will take near a decade to probably get it fully operational and safe for us to move into but it gives us something to work towards.

Once the sun goes down I get my girls ready for bed. Sam is going on and on about Ryan like she does most nights. I still can't get over that my 11 year old girl has meet and is in love with her soul mate. What a crazy idea right? De De is holding a stuffed giraffe and is begging for stories of her daddy Dean. It takes a while but I get De De asleep and Samantha drifts off too.

I keep their door slightly open in case either of them need me in the night. I turn off the single light in the living room and head to my room. I move to the dresser and rest my head on the wood. "I need you Dean." I whisper out to no one. The tears flow freely now that no one can see me. I try to stay strong but it's hard. I let them flow then I stand up trying to regain control of my emotions. I open the top drawer and pull out one of Dean's button ups. I strip down and put it on. I snuggle into the familiar feel of his clothes, the only thing I have him left.

The bed is so cold alone. I would do anything to have him in bed with me right now. I can just imagine how well I would sleep with his warm body next to mine curled around me. "I love you Dean." I whisper out hoping he can hear me where he is. The 1845th day without Dean is finally ending. Tomorrow will mark the 1846th day without him. Then only 5660 days until I can die.

A/N I hope you guys liked it! Only a few more chapters and this story will be done! Please review if you get the chance. I like knowing people are reading this story too. Its oddly one of my favs.


	12. Chapter 12

Sam's POV

If you would have told me on the day that I accepted Lucifer into my body that this is where I would be years later I wouldn't have believed you. I figured Lucifer would just ride me for the rest of eternity. The only hopes I had were that he would keep his promise and leave Dean alone. I had hoped that maybe just maybe I would get a peak of Dean somewhere and he would be happy and with some amazing woman with a gaggle of kids around him. He always wanted kids, even if he acted like he didn't. In reality he was the one of us who really wanted the apple pie life more. He would just never admit it. It hurts to think about my brother. I can't believe that I'll never get the chance to make up to him what I did. I really wish I could have proven to him that I knew I was wrong. I also wish he was around to meet his nephews. Jane and I have had 3 boys so far. We named them Joseph, after Jane's dad, Robert, and Gabriel. Or has we call them Joey, Bobby, and Gabe. I couldn't name one of them after Dean. It would have hurt Lara too much to hear us call out for Dean.

Oh Lara. There is a tortured soul. When I first came 10 years ago I could see how shattered she was. Having De De helped her a bit. She had her girls, she had her family, and she was surviving. I have watched her force the pieces of her soul back together so she can raise her girls. Then that day happened. It set her back years of work.

_I wipe the sweat off my brow and flick the blood of my machete on the ground next to me. I turn around taking in the death toll. We were attacked this morning, the biggest demon attack we've had since I have been here. Samantha saw it in a dream a few nights ago so we were able to prepare thank god or I don't know if we would have survived. _

_ The field in front of the camp is littered in bodies, most of them our foes. We train everyone relentlessly. We would never expect the kids to fight but they need to know how to protect themselves if they get in. De De can even fire a gun with deadly accuracy and is pretty good and throwing knives. Sometimes I think we should name our camp new Sparta. _

_ To my left I see Tyr leaning over Shiva and Parvati. I can tell they are dead by the vacant stares on their faces. It's also obvious that Shiva died trying to protect Parvati. It's a small blessing they left this world together. I know I would not want to left here after Jane died. I am thankful that Jane doesn't fight. Her and Lara are our main medical help and Lara insists on fighting now. So that only leaves Jane if something happens._

_ I see Lara standing in a circle of dead bodies. She truly is one bad ass mother fucker! I can see that she is going to have another scar to add to the menagerie on her body. There is a long slash across her back that will scar over the claw marks I put on her body. It's dripping blood down the back of her shirt but she doesn't seem to acknowledge it. Two years ago Lara went on a short mission with me and Cas and she got burned baldy on her left leg. Demons are powered down and need to eat too now. We were going through a town and we went into a house that a demon was apparently cooking in. They threw the boiling water on her and her leg is permanently marred now. She could hardly walk for months and even now when it rains sometimes it acts up. But right now she looks like a warrior not a hint of weakness. She pulls off her top shirt and wipes the sweat of her brow and smiles at me. I can see the large scar on her right arm as well. That was from a demon that ripped a good portion of the skin on her arm off during a fight. Also looks like she got stabbed in the shoulder. Jane will have to patch her up. But if I know Lara she won't let Jane touch her till they have fixed everyone else first._

_ I cross the field to her and she looks down at a body at her feet. The body is a beautiful young woman. She has caramel skin and dark brown hair. Her brown eyes are staring up at me lifeless and dull. I can almost imagine her talking with a thick Spanish accent. I can hear the way she would say "Sam" with a shy smile on her lips and twinkle in her eyes. But I shake it off. I must be more drained from the fight then I thought if I am starting to hear and see things. I can see the tears in Lara's eyes. "What's wrong Lara?"_

_ She looks up at me with tears in her big blue eyes. "I knew her. She was in the body farm with me. Her name was Gabriella. I know the demons burned out their vessels and became one with them when the lost their power but I still feel like I killed her." _

_ That's Lara. Bad ass killing machine one moment. Sweet, kind, and emotional the next. She truly is Dean's soul mate. They are so alike yet they are so different. I would have loved to see how they complemented each other. "You didn't kill her Lara. You set her body free." I look down at the body with her for a few more minutes. I could see her in the cages with Lara. She's beautiful and looks like she could have handled herself. She would have been a good addition for the demons. _

_ Lara pivots to the right and I follow her sad face to Ryan. He is knelling next to his father who fell in the fight as well it appears. That will be hard for him. I know Samantha will do what she can to help him mourn but it doesn't change the fact his father died. Lara gives my arm a squeeze and moves to take care of Ryan._

_ There's a tap on my shoulder and I turn around quickly raising my machete but I lower it when I am greeted by Cas' blue eyes. Him and Lara really do look alike. "Jesus Cas! I could have killed you!" I yell at him. Cas frowns at me and grabs my arm. I follow him. "Cas what's wrong?" I ask him realizing something is really wrong. _

_ We walk about 30 feet when Cas motions to the ground beneath me. I look down and I see a decapitated body. I knell down and roll the head. "Oh fuck!" I moan out. It's Gabriel. We lost Gabriel. I look up at Cas and I can see the tears flooding his eyes. "I'm worried she won't survive this." Cas whispers barley able to speak without sobbing. _

_ He's right. I don't know if she will survive this. Gabriel has really been a rock for Lara these past years. I have Jane and my two boys now. Lara and Gabriel have always had a great bond. He treats her like a daughter and she adores him. He's fully moved into her cabin even. He sleeps on the same mattress I used too and she made space for him in her drawers. I hear Lara coming up behind me. "We've lost Shiva, Parviti, Harry, Rob, and Jenn."_

_ I quickly stand up and run over to Lara and grab her arms. "Don't go over there." I tell her trying to keep her calm. I don't want her to see this . It will destroy her to see Gabriel's head on the ground like that. Lara's eyes grow frantic and she tries to maneuver around me. "Who else did we lose?" She screams out. _

_ She fights against me and must get a peek behind me because all of the fight goes out of her and she goes limp in my arms. "Gabe!" She screams out falling to her knees. I pick her up and carry her back into the camp. She doesn't fight me. She just sobs in to my chest. _

Jane and I decided to name our youngest after him. Cas hasn't handled Gabriel's death well either but Lara has handled it the worst. She cried for days and wouldn't leave her bed. I wasn't around when Dean died but Cas said it was a familiar sight. Samantha had to take care of Ryan so De De helped stay with her mother.

Her nightmares have gone from bad to horrible. Cas stays with her frequently and even Tyr has. They always take the mattress on the floor in her room but she can't be left alone at night. She can't wake herself up and we have even found her sleep walking about the camp a few times that we let her alone.

Loosing Dean broke her heart and shattered her soul. She managed to put the pieces together shakily. The loss of Gabriel shattered her again. She puts the pieces together again but they are weaker than before and there are some missing. I worry that if anything else happens she will completely fall apart and nothing will be able to fix her. She's so strong but at the same time she is so fragile.

"Mom you are being ridiculous!" I hear Sammie yell at Lara from next door. Oh this can't be good. "You're only 16 Sam!" Lara yells back.

Jane gives me a nod of her head while she is rocks Gabe back to sleep for his nap. I run out of our cabin and run up the stairs to Lara's and find Lara and Sam standing in the living room yelling at each other. "It's a new world mom and I know Ryan is it! You have to let me move in with him!"

Lara's back is to me and it tenses it up. "I know he is your soul mate honey but you're too young to move in with him!" She retorts. Lara must hear me on the stairs because she whips around and gives me an exasperated look.

"Tell her it's ok dad!" Samantha pleads with me. It still makes my heart swell to hear my kids call me dad. I look between them and throw my arms up. "What is going on here?" I ask before I start to take sides. I think I can figure out what is happening but I want to make sure.

"Samantha wants to move into Ryan's cabin. She thinks she's old enough to set up house with her boyfriend. I told her she is too young." Lara tells me quickly. I can tell she is slightly overwhelmed with this.

Sam stamps her foot. "I am not to young mom. He is my soul mate. Why do I have to wait to be with him? If it was you and daddy you would never let anyone tell you that couldn't be with him." Samantha realizes she brought up Dean and her face turns red quickly and she looks down quickly. "Mom..." Sam squeaks out.

Lara's face is pale and tears are coming down her cheeks. "Samantha why don't you go next door and help your aunt Jane. I am going to talk to your mom for a few minutes ok." I tell her. Samantha gives me a remorseful look and she leaves the room. It's not that she mentioned Dean. Lara likes to tell the girls about him. It's how she did it that has shaken her up. I'm not sure if she would have been so shaken before Gabriel died but like I said she is worse than before. "Lara." I say quietly pulling her into a hug. I just hold her for moment then guide her to the sofa.

"She's right isn't she Sam. If it were Dean I wouldn't let anyone stand in the way of me being with him and he would be the same with me. But she's so young Sam. She's only 16 how can I let my baby move out?" She cries into my chest. "I wish Dean were here he would know what to do." I let her cry a bit longer while I think about it.

"20 years ago I would have said hell no to such a request but now I don't know. The world is so different. Any of us could die any day so much quicker than before. He's 18 and she's 16 they are just babies but maybe it's not ridiculous that they move in together. They are obviously hopelessly in love and honestly we both know that he sneaks into her bed despite the fact that De De is in there as it is." I kind of wish Dean was here too. He would know what to do as well.

We sit there quietly for a bit longer until Lara wipes her eyes off and pushes off me. She gives me a weak smile. "Thank you Sam." She says meekly. I kiss her forehead. "Anytime." I reply. We both get up and walk next door to my cabin.

Samantha is on the floor playing with Bobby and Joey. She looks up at her mom when she comes in. "I'm sorry mommy." Lara shakes her head telling her daughters it's fine.

"You're dad and I talked it over and we have decided you can move in with Ryan." Lara tells Sammie. She jumps off the floor and gives Lara a tight hug. "Thanks mom." Sam says into her mother's hair. Samantha is tall like me and now towers over her mother. She's not quite has tall as me but she's nearly 6 feet.

For a moment Lara just holds onto her daughter tightly. Then she releases her. "You should go pack your stuff up." She tells our daughter with a smile on her face but tears in her eyes. Samantha heads next door to start to pack her things. Jane must have gotten Gabe down for his nap because she comes out of the boys' room and gently shuts the door. "I can't wait till we move to the houses. It will be nice to have a house with room."

Lara's face falls again. The houses are something that are making her nervous. We found a community that we think we can refashion for our needs. It's a completely gated community a few hours from here. It's fenced in with brick wall and we have just started going through making sure they are clear. There is even a natural river that goes through the community. It will take a few more years to have them has safe as here for us to move into. Most people are excited about them. Jake and David even think they can rig up some solar panels so we can have power. Lara is torn about it though. I know she doesn't want to leave here yet. To her this is where she is connected with Dean. Jane and I are going to make sure Lara's house is right next to ours and that Cas is on the other side of her. If she would rather we even discussed having Lara and De De just living with us. "I'm gonna help Samantha get her things together." I head next to door and let Lara and Jane talk for a bit. Lara looks like she could use some girl time.

It only takes a few hours and we have all of Sammie's things moved into Ryan's. Any idiot can see they are crazy about each other which is the only reason we are allowing this to happen. A few days ago Ryan set up a romantic picnic for them and gave her a ring. I can tell they are committed to each other forever.

The dinner bell rings and everyone meets at the mess hall. I see De De running around with her friends and cousins outside and Lara watching her from the porch. "You doing alright?" I ask her has I take the stairs.

Lara smiles at me. "Yes I am fine. I just can't believe how fast they are growing up." I know what she isn't saying is that she wishes Dean could see them growing up. "They grow so fast. I can't believe that Joey is nearly 5 already. And De De is 10. It's crazy."

Dinner is uneventful and most of the kids run outside once they are done to play. We have a small school house set up and all the adults that feel they can contribute something helps teach the kids. I teach there a lot. I enjoy it. We give them a schedule that we were all used too. They get weekends and summers off. So they are loving this warm weather.

The sun starts to set and all the kids start to go to their cabins. I catch Samantha and Ryan going into their cabin. I don't even want to think about what they are going to do in there tonight. Tyr and Cas are talking in front of Cas' cabin and I see Cas go back into his cabin. I guess Tyr is on Lara watch tonight. He takes the stairs to Lara's place and waves me. I know some of the women think Lara is sleeping with Tyr but I know better. Dean was the only man for her. He is merely her friend and trying to help her. I think if he had the chance he would be with her but he's a smart man and knows it won't happen.

Jane and I get the boys into bed which is easier said than done. The warm weather makes them more energetic than normal. After three stories they are finally asleep. We both kiss their heads and watch their hair move in the breeze from the open window. We shut their door and head into our room.

Once our door is shut I grab Jane to me and kiss her hard. "I love you Jane." I mutter into her lips. I can feel her smile and she kisses me back. We quickly strip each other down and I push her back onto the mattress. I start to kiss up her torso creamy and pale torso when I hear a cry outside. "Oh god Ryan!"

I jump up and look out the window in horror. "Is that Sammie?" I honest to god squeak out to Jane. Then we hear it again. "Ryan!"

Jane starts to laugh and I know my face is bright red. I grab my jeans off the floor and Jane stands up and grabs me. "What are you doing?" She laughs out.

"I am going to go kill that boy! He is fucking my daughter!" I growl out. Jane pulls me to her and kisses me. "Sam don't be stupid. She is living with him now what did you think would happen?" She asks with a raise to her eye brow. I start to stammer. "That's what I thought. Now get those pants off and lets show those kids how it's done."

a/n thanks for all your awesome reviews. I have most of the rest of the story typed out so the more reviews I get the more motivated I might be to post faster... thanks again!


	13. Chapter 13

Lara's POV

Its been 4400 days since Dean last held me. I still have 3106 days till I can be with my soul mate again. It's been 12 years. It's now been double the time without him then with him. How is it possible that I have spent more time without him then with him? How is it possible that my heart aches the same as the day he died. I'm starting to forget things about him. It's hard to keep it in my mind.

At first I forgot little things. Like the sound of his voice. I know I miss it. I can remember how it made me weak in the knees but I can't hear it any more. Sometimes in my dreams he will talk to me but when I wake up I forget how it sounded. Every once in a while I get confused and I think I hear him laugh in the back of my mind. His laugh was like music to my ears.

it slowly became more though. Nothing left smells like him anymore. I can't replicate it. I've gone out to his car that is rusting outside the camp and sometimes I get a whiff of what he smelled like. When I open a bottle of whiskey or change the oil in one of the trucks I get a kick to the chest. It smells enough like him to hurt but it's not enough. HIs clothes all smell like me now. I used to be able to open his drawers and smell him but now they are all just tear stained remnant of him. His pillow is cold and smells like me too. My room smells like a mixture of Cas and Tyr now. They take turns sleeping on the mattress on my room because I can't take the night.

I can just barely remember how his skin felt under my hands. I remember the strength of his muscles. I remember how warm his skin felt. I miss scratching my nails down his back while he ravaged me in this bed. It's hard to bring the memories of him holding me anymore. I can remember that my head hit the middle of the chest when he would hold me when we stood. I kind of remember the feeling of his heart beat when I slept on his chest. Or even better the feeling of his arms around me while I slept and the exhale of his breath on my neck.

His smile. That is one thing that I can still remember. It's hazy but I can see his smile in my mind all the time. It's burned on the back of my eye lids. His smile was hot enough to make me wet from across a room.

I miss the feel of him in me. I miss having his hands all over me while I responded to just him. I miss my back arcing off the bed while we made love. I miss his mouth, his lips, his tongue, all over me. I almost totally forget what a warm mouth on mine feels like. The way his fingers would just trace over my body. I wonder if he would still be attracted to me now. My left leg is all scar tissue from a run in with a demon years ago. I have another large slash on my back from the day Uncle Gabe died. My right arm has a huge gash on it. My shoulder has a big scar from the time I got stabbed in the shoulder by a demon. My left side also has a bullet wound where it grazed me in a fight. I'm not the same woman he feel in love with.

His eyes are unforgettable though. It's easy to remember them when De De looks at me with her father's every day. She has his full lips too. She's going to be a beautiful girl when she grows up. I am going to have to fight the boys off her.

Cas, Jane, Tyr, and Sam have tried to fill the hole in my chest that Dean's death left. Once Uncle Gabe died it just expanded and I can feel it taking over me. It's a poison that is slowly killing me. I miss laying in bed and talking to Dean for hours. After Dean died Gabe would sit with me and talk like that. It didn't matter what we talked about it was just that we were. I sometimes go to his grave and talk to him still. At least I have a spot to talk to him unlike Dean.

That day was the second worst day of my life. The first is obviously the day Cas and Uncle Gabe told me Dean was dead. Then the day I found Gabriella dead on the ground in front of me. I couldn't tell Sam who she was. Dean told me everything he knew about our other life. How could I explain to Sam that the woman dead in front of us is his wife in another plane and they have a baby? I couldn't. I thought that would be the worst thing of the day. Then I saw Sam and Cas talking. I knew it was going to be bad the moment I saw their lowered heads. Sam grabbed me but I managed to look behind him. I could see Uncle Gabe's lying next to his body. How was I supposed to come back from that. I have lost my soul mate and now my father figure? Uncle Gabe is right, god has left us.

The 4400th day starts like any other. I lay in bed for a moment and think about Dean. Then I get up and change. De De is still asleep in her room so I go to walk her up. "Hey honey you got school soon." Her eyes open and she smiles at me. Her eyes are still a bit cloudy with sleep and her smile is just to adorable has she rubs her eyes. "Just a few more minutes mommy."

I lean down and kiss her forehead. "A few more minutes then you got to get up. Papa Sam is teaching history today. You should like that." De De finally gets up and I get her off to class. They have breakfast for the kids there and the adults eat alone on school days in the mess hall.

Jane and I have a full day today. We have a few sick people, a broken arm, a sprained leg, and two pregnant women. I hear the slow shuffle of my oldest daughter outside before she emerges in the clinic, 6 months pregnant I may add. "Sammie." I say happily crossing the room to give her a tight hug. "How are you and my grand baby doing today?" I ask rubbing her stomach.

Samantha looks down at her stomach and rubs her baby. "We are good. The little bugger wouldn't stop moving last night though it was hard to sleep. But Mom I gotta talk to you about something." I escort her to a chair so she can relax. She slowly sinks into the chair and leans back with sigh. "What's up honey?" I ask pulling up a stool.

She starts to fiddle with Dean's amulet that is still around her neck. It's her most prized possession because it was her daddy's. "I had a dream last night mom. I couldn't get a full vision though because I kept waking up but I think we are going to have an in coming today. You were in that same shirt and Aunt Jane was wearing the same shirt too. I could hear the in coming then I woke up. When I fell back asleep I saw it was just one person but then I woke up again. I'm sorry I don't have more information but it was so hard to sleep. And you know how the waves have been crossed since I got pregnant." She has been having a hard time getting visions awake since she got pregnant.

I lean over and pat her knee. "It's fine honey. Thanks for letting me know. Why don't you go back home and rest a bit. You are going to need all the rest you can get before we move next month and not to mention how tired you will be when the baby comes." Samantha smiles at me and I help her out of the chair.

"I will try to rest. If I see anything else I will come find you. I am glad that we get the house next to yours mom. I know Cas wanted it but he'll be across the street so Dad and Aunt Jane can get the one the other side of you. De De Is gonna flip when she sees her awesome room." I am getting a little bit more excited about the move. Sam said he would get Dean's and I bedroom to that house so I still have that. I don't think they could have forced me to change mattresses even if they put a gun to my head. That's the mattress Dean made love to me on. Cas and Tyr are going to share the house across the street from me and we are going to see if maybe a change in scenery will allow me to sleep alone. If not my room is big enough for a twin bed again and they will take turns again. De De has volunteered to stay with me but I know my nightmares scare her. They can make me violent too. I would never forgive myself if I hurt her. I have hit Cas and Tyr so many times I can't count all the bruises they have had.

Lunch is quiet with the kids in school. Samantha must have fallen asleep finally because she isn't here but Ryan is. He gets a plate for them both and he smile at me has he heads back to their home. Tyr, Cas and I are in deep debate about the best way to get everyone to the new site. Sam finally got his way and we are actually naming it New Sparta. It should be fully operational next month. Jake and David are there right now setting up the solar panels. We are still going to have a communal mess hall because it would be difficult to divvy out the food and to be honest it's our normal now. We are going to have an actual school this time which is nice. Sam said we could come back for Dean's car. I know it's a rust bucket but I want it in the garage if we can bring it. Most of the homes are completely furnished so we are only bringing a few pieces, my bedroom set included. We are also going to have a store to set up with clothing and other personal goods in the center of the community. Chuck is excited about that. It will be much more organized. Jake and David even figured out how to get the water working so we are all going to have running water in every house. That is going to be amazing.

"IN COMING!" Shit! Everyone in the mess hall goes quiet for a minute then we all jump to action. I know that Sam is getting all the kids into the safe spot in the school house so De De is safe. I also know that Ryan will take care of Samantha. Tyr, Cas and I run to the front gate while everyone takes their place.

I touch the pistol in the holster at my side and grab for my favorite shot gun. This must be the in coming Sammie saw last night. It should only be one person but her dream wasn't complete so I am going to be cautious incase it's more. "Stop where you are and raise your hands!" Andy yells to the person coming across our open field. The figure stops immediately and puts their hands up. I can't make out their figure but it looks like a man. It's the beginning of winter and he's in a army green colored jacket with a hood on so it's hard to tell. "Don't move or we will shoot! We will come to you!" Andy yells again. The figure shakes his head in understanding. I look to Cas and he nods.

Steve opens the gate and Cas and I head out to see who is coming to our home. We haven't had a newcomer for a few months so it would be nice to get some fresh blood. And soon we will actually have space for new people. I keep my shot gun pulled up to my shoulder and on the figure. Cas is doing the same thing as we approach him.

His head is down and his hands are up so we still can't get a good read on him. He's tall but the jacket is ill fitting. It's huge on him. He looks thin and bony. It's rough out there he probably hasn't eaten well. It's good he's made it here. We will be able to put some meat on those bones. "Don't make any sudden movements." Cas warns the newcomer.

I drop my trigger arm and grab my flask with holy water. I flick it on the man and he doesn't flinch. "Stick out your arm." Cas tells him. I put my flask back and nick him with a silver knife and he doesn't flinch. I look to his ring finger and there is a worn band. He must have been married.

Wait a minute. I recognize that band. Oh hell no! "Where did you get that wedding band?" I snap out. The man doesn't move for a moment. Then his head slowly moves up. His face is filthy and covered with cuts and blood. His eyes. Those are Dean's green eyes.

Without thinking my body goes into motion. I fling out my leg and fling him on his back and I'm on his chest with a knife to his throat in a moment. "What! Are! You?" I growl out ready to kill this creature who thinks they can wear my man. It's hard to stay strong with his eyes looking at me.

The man doesn't respond. He just stares at me. He is taking me in and I can tell he's confused. "Lara?" He asks. I push the blade into his throat. The timber of his voice is making my hands shake though. It sounds like I remember but slightly different. Like he hasn't used his vocal cords in a while. "Don't fuck with me. What are you?" I bark back.

"MOM STOP!" I hear at the gates. I keep the blade at the imposters throat and whip around to see Samantha pushing past Steve and Andy at the gate to get to me with Ryan trailing behind her. "MOM DON'T!" She screams out again.

I keep the knife to his throat and Samantha stops next to me out of breath. "Mom that's dad. I swear it's him." She huffs out.

My brain can't quite process what she just said. I drop the blade and it falls next to his head and I look down at the man I am currently straddling. "Dean?" I choke out. He shakes his head slowly and I fall down on him and kiss his lips. He kisses me back greedily. His arms wrap around me and are all over me. My hands trail up and down his arms. He feels different but I don't care he's in my arms. "How? They said you were dead." I cry out into his lips.

He kisses me again and pulls me down into his chest. "I was dead. I mean I thought I was dead. I thought I was back in hell. But they kept me prisoner. I broke out three months ago and I have been travelling to you ever since."

"You're alive." I sob into his chest. "Dean." I mutter over and over again. I feel a hand on my shoulder and I look up to see Cas touching me. "We should move back to the camp." I shake my head in agreement and slowly get off Dean and help him to his feet. I can't keep my hands off him as we make our way back to the camp.

a/n So are you all happy now? Let me know what you think!


	14. Chapter 14

a/n I don't think I have started a chapter like this but... warning! What you are about to read may be considered graphic. If you would prefer not to read it feel free to send me a pm and I'll send you less graphic clift note version.

Dean's POV

12 years ago

It's so dark. It's also incredibly humid. The room smells horrible and there is no window that I can see. I try to move my arms and legs but they are immobile. Shit! I guess this is what happens when you piss god off by not letting his son into your body... you go to hell. I don't want to be back here. I lived it once how do I live it again? I don't know if my eyes are closed or open but I can see Lara. She will be my rock. I will find a way to survive because I had 6 years with her.

The boot stomps outside shake me out of thinking of my perfect woman. The demons are coming. The anticipation can be just as bad as the torture. I learned that in hell the first time. I could make a soul a sobbing mess before I even made my first cut. I don't want to go back to that. I can't cave in again. I have to stay strong.

"Well if it isn't Dean Winchester! Back to grace us with your presence." The demon shouts as he flings the door open. He turns on the single bulb in my new home. I can't make anything out behind him but it looks like a cave. It doesn't matter. A skilled torturer knows how to change the environment to torment their victims. I used to make all kind of scenes for the souls sent to me. This demon must know how much I hate being underground so a cave is a perfect spot to trap me in for eternity. "What cat got your tongue?" He asks.

I keep my mouth shut, unwilling to give him what he wants. Which is me to beg to be let go. A flash of movement in front of me end with a flash of pain in my leg. I manage to hold in my scream but I know he just stabbed me in the fatty part of my right thigh. This is a game I know well. I've got to go somewhere else in my mind before I do break. "Oh isn't this fun. You think you can beat us because you used to do this?" He asks up in my face. I can smell his horrible breath. "Well that's fine Dean because I have forever to break you."

The knife slides out of my leg easy, just like going through butter. Means this demon is a good torturer. He treats his tools well. By the time he is slicing into my leg I am long gone. My mind is with Lara and Samantha back at the camp.

Undetermined amount of time later

It feels like I have been here forever. Its different than before. I rarely leave my cell. I never die. He is playing with me. Taking his time. He doesn't get to excited and kill me over and over. I think he may be on to something. Dealing with multiple injuries at once is horrible. I can't move without hurting.

He mostly gives me superficial wounds but they hurt like a bitch. He has pealed some of my skin off and I can feel it scaring over. I am let go in my cell sometimes. All I have is a bucket for the bathroom and sometimes they give me a bucket of water to bath in. They bring me food sometimes too. Hell is different than it used to be. But then again it's under new management so I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

I can hear others around me though. I can hear them screaming out in pain just like me. I don't know if I cry out to be honest though. I blank out. I go somewhere else and I know it kills them. They say it's like working on a corpse. I had a few of those when I was a torturer. Some souls just blanked out and couldn't be brought back. I have 6 wonderful years to live in.

For the most part I can handle the torture. I can't handle the rape though. The demons enjoy that. Sometimes they will pull the other souls with me here and tie us all down and just go down the line. I don't recognize anyone here with me. That is one of the few good things. I think it would kill me to see a friend.

They have tried to use Lara against me but they have realized it just makes me fight harder when they talk about her and they stopped doing this pretty early on.

_I don't know how long I've been here but it's long enough that the initial wounds I received here are scarred over now. Time has no meaning in a windowless cell in hell. It could have been 5 days it could have been 5 years it could have been 500 years. I really don't know. _

_ The boots are crunching outside my cell again. My normal torturer I just call demon. I don't have a name for him, he has never really offered one. With him though it's just business. He comes in he tortures he leaves. I can almost respect that. It's not personal. By the sounds of the boots this isn't my normal torturer. No this is the one I call Scarface, in my mind at least. His face is horribly disfigured. He claims he got it from our mutual maker, Aliaster. I claim that demon was not my maker but Scarface claims he was the maker of who I had become and who I will be again. I hate when he visits. Unlike the group raping in the center of our prison he makes it personal._

_ The door flings open and slams against the stone wall of my cell. It shudders much like I am. Scarface turns on the bulb to my cell, he always likes the light. He likes to see what he is doing. He also likes a little bit of a fight. He releases me from the shackles on the table that the demon left me on. He had just finished with me a while ago. Again I'm not sure how long ago but long enough that I only feel asleep once. "How are we today Dean?" He asks has he flips me off the table. I hit the ground with a thud. "Fucking great how about yourself?" I retort back. I still have a bit of lip with this one. The demon I don't let bother me but this fucker always makes me fight him. _

_ Scarface grabs my by the neck and picks me up and slams me against the wall. "Oh yes you will be fucking great when I'm done with you." He states sadistically. I roll my eyes at him and he hits my head against the wall. He hits it hard enough that I'm seeing stars. _

_ I try to fight him but my leg is to messed up for me to do much. I can't put any weight on it and my hand is still broken from the last time Scarface came to visit me. I do try though. I lose quickly and he has my face slammed against the wall. "I thought I should let you know I have been top side for awhile."_

_ "Oh well isn't that great for you!" I spit back at him bracing myself for what's coming. He chokes my neck a bit and I can feel his other hand groping me. _

_ "It was great for me. I visited your woman." That gets my attention. I try to break free but he just slams me into the wall again face first. I can feel the blood from my forehead dripping down my face. I can see it in my eyes. But I don't care he is talking about Lara. "I rapped her over and over again Dean. I raped her with the same cock I'm out about to rape you with. I guess that means in some fucked up way you are sleeping with your woman again. Then I killed her." _

_ Fucker thought this would break me. No this makes me angry! I don't know where the feat of strength comes from but I attack him with a vengeance that I have never possessed before. I almost want to thank Tyr from the added power, him being the ex god of vengeance and all but I can't stop. I need to kill this demon._

_ I can't stop. I just keep hitting him over and over again. He will not longer but Scarface to me no he will be Noface because when I am done there is nothing left of his face. My hands are throbbing and I am covered in blood. _

_ The other demons come in a long time later and take in the mess of their ex master before me. I smile at them like a maniac. "Anyone else want to fuck with me?!" I scream out. They grab his body and leave._

Others have tortured me, hell others have raped me but no one mentioned Lara again. That is where I have drawn my line in the sand. If you threaten my woman or child I will kill you. I am still pretty sure he was lying. I still believe that Lara is alive.

I heard a woman give birth down here with me. It made me think of Lara. She seemed to have a rough birth. It was quite a surprise though. I didn't realize you could have a child in hell. But again with this new world order maybe you can. I don't know. It's all so blurry and confusing. I feel like I am a on a vast ocean without a boat. Just floating. No idea how long it's been or how long it will go on. Not knowing exactly where I am in this sea.

What I wouldn't give to hold Lara again. When they come in here, the horrendous creatures that torture me and everyone down here, I go to her. It's getting hard to though. I used to be able to see, touch, and smell her in front of me. I could really convince myself I was with her just laying in bed making love or in the living room playing with Sammie.

Not anymore though. I'll be in the bed with her in my mind then the demons break through. I'll be touching her face and kissing her lips then I pull away and the demon is there laughing at me. I can't smell her anymore. Spring is gone. She always reminding me of spring day. I would feel like I was lounging in a field with flowers all around me and the sun warming my skin every time I smelled her. Now all I smell is rotting flesh and feces.

I would give anything to just touch her again or even just hear her voice. But if any of those things happen that mean she's in hell too. Nothing could possibly be worse than that. How would I be able to protect her down here? I can't even take care of myself. They would devour her.

It surprises me that I haven't seen Sammy yet. I figured that there was no way the angels would let him in heaven. I have asked the demons about my brother and they just laugh at me like I am not in on their secret joke. When they pull us out of our cells I always look around has they are tying us down in case I see him. Don't know what I would do if I saw him under those circumstances. I mean what would I say? Does your ass hurt as bad as mine? And then try to laugh it off. No I guess we would just make eye contact and know we are both where we always knew we would end up. We lived hard and we die harder.

The angels are gone or so Cas and Gabriel said but I have to hope that they still open their doors for Lara. She deserves that. She deserves to relax in heaven with her friends and family and just be at peace.

I wonder if she moved on. I always joked with Tyr about Lara. I know he had a huge crush on her. It's possible he's in my bed right now making love to my woman. The thought makes me sick to my stomach but at the same times brings me peace. I hate to think of Lara crying herself to sleep every night and mourning me alone. He will take good care of her.

The door flings open and the demon pulls the string to the light bulb again. I prefer to keep it off when I'm alone in here. I hate to see myself under that harsh light. My clothes feel apart long ago. They were blood stained and plain disgusting so I didn't put up to much of a fight when my jeans and shirt finally gave out. It's too hot for me to worry about clothes anyway. But without them I can see what they have done to me. My body used to be tanned and rock hard. Now it's pale, thinning, and look pretty sickly. I do what I can to keep fit. I do sit ups and pushups when I have the strength. But I'm getting weaker by the day.

My right leg has been carved up. It has intricate design pattern that must mean something to the demon that tore into my flesh with such accuracy that I can make out the pattern. My left leg has been slowly pealed and allowed to heal over and over again. The entire lower part of my leg is a plain of scar tissue. It burns sometimes still. Maybe today they will work on the upper part of my leg. They are methodic. They have worked from my right big toe and up to my hip then back down to my left toe. I feel like some kind of messed up human version of ying and yang. Two opposites on one body. I don't want to think of what it will feel like when they get to my chest. I pray they don't get near my junk either. The last thing I need is for them to skin my dick.

"So Winchester you miss me?" He asks with a devilish grin. "Christo." I spit out. It's the only thing I can do to get a rise out of them. Nothing happens. His eyes don't change. He flinches slightly but that's it. "CHRISTO!" I yell out. Again a slight flinch but his eyes aren't black.

"What the fuck?" I spit out. His eyes should be fully black now and he should be spitting out obscenities. The demon gets up in my face. "Don't think this changes the fact that I am going to enjoy torturing you until I die Winchester. I won't let you die until I die."

"Die? You won't let me die? I'm already dead what the fuck does it matter!" The demon laughs and easily picks up me up and throws me on the table in my room and ties me down. He picks up his knife and I feel him start to peal the skin off the middle of me thigh. I grit my teeth. I am not ready to give him what he wants.

"You think you're dead Dean? Now that's rich." HIs eyes are gleaming evilly. If I look carefully I can see the strip of skin reflecting in his eyes before he throws in on the floor like a wet rag.

"Yeah you dumbass. We are in hell in case you haven't noticed." I reply through gritted teeth. I will not scream out. Lara's smile flashes in my mind and I am able to take in a breath. The knife glides under my skin and peels off another strip. "God!" I scream out. The demon flashes me a truly happy grin. "Fucking ass hole." I chuck back at him.

He picks up the flesh and puts it in his mouth. I can feel the bile in the back of my throat. Then he removes me from the straps on the table and flings me to the ground. I don't think I can flex my left leg without it hurting even more. The demon turns the light out and walks to the door and stands in the light from the hall. "You're not dead Dean. You've been with us in Louisiana in a cave this whole time." And he slams the door behind him leaving me in the dark.

In the dark I can think. Alive? I am alive? How is that possible. This is hell isn't it. How isn't this hell. How can this be real? How has my real body survived this? The baby down here starts to cry out. Shit this is real. This is the real world. That is real baby. I have to get these people out. I have to get back to Lara.

Undetermined amount of time

I'm pretty sure the demon thought that by telling me this was the real world would break me down. He thought it would shatter my mind and I would go crazy. I mean how else should I respond when I find out this isn't hell despite what I thought? Yes maybe it should have broken me. Maybe I should be a vacant body on the table unable to do anything but mumble. That's how I've acted with him though. I let him think he won. He loves it.

But no.. it saved me. I have a reason now. Before I thought I was in hell! It was hopeless. Whether I fought them or just laid there it was the same. I was going to be tortured and tomorrow it would be the same thing. Not now though. Now I know I can work and I can get out of here.

I done my best to get stronger. I eat every scrap of food they give me. It may be disgusting but I have even eaten the skin that the demon has pulled off my leg and now my back that he throws on the ground. I need to get stronger. I need to get back to Lara. Nothing is going too far to get back to her, nothing. I do more push up and sit ups than ever. I have even been jogging in my room. I may be just a shade of what I used to be but I know I can do this. I can kill them all and then I will get back to Lara and Samantha. I can only imagine how big my baby will be now I have no idea how much time has passed but I know she is older. She is probably tall like her Papa Sam too.

At least I know why I haven't seen Sam down here. He is dead and I am alive. I hope he isn't down there. I hope some how he got to rest in peace. Just blackness would be peace. No torture, no demons, no angels too.

Today will be it. The last time they pulled us out for the their sick sexual pleasure I was able to get a weapon back with me. The stupid assholes threw me a towel when they were done to clean up with. I managed to grab a knife and wrapped it up and brought it back with me. I need to take out my torturer then I can get out. He never locks the door once he comes in. There is only one demon that walks the hall at a time. I count their steps and hear their gait. I will get the others out and hopefully they can help us fight our way up.

The door flings open the way it does every time he comes in. I act weak and pathetic huddled up in a ball in the corner. Let him think I am weak. It will make the surprise better. "Oh poor Dean. So sad over there." He chuckles out. He moves towards me and it seems to slow down. Just a little closer, closer, closer, NOW!

Right when he grabs my arm and shove the knife up into his ribcage and I know I made contact with this heart based off the blood coming out of his mouth. "Now you're fucking dead." I growl into his ear. The life escapes his eyes and I stand over his body victoriously.

He is around my size. I quickly strip him and cloth myself. I can't be killing demons and freeing people naked now can I? I stop at the door and listen for the guard. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, my door, 6, open the door and shove the knife in his back when his back is to me. He's down fast. Easy kill for a hunter like me.

It seems like an eternity but I get all of the people out who can function. One cell just had dead body and another one had a checked out person. I couldn't get them to respond or even move. I was able to find clothes for everyone and we head out slowly. Everyone is armed and we are ready to kill to get out.

The fight is long and it is hard but we are all unstoppable. These creatures have tortured us for years and our anger and hatred won't be quenched till every last one of these bastards are dead by our feet. We fight through demons until they are all dead. It feels amazing to be standing over their carcasses.

The escape, the fight, the search for a safe place is over. Those of us who made it are in a house miles away. We ran through the night until our lungs could no longer take it. We all collapse in an empty house and sleep like the dead. We take turns staying awake. Surprisingly the lady with the baby survives with her baby too. Only it's not a baby anymore it's a young child.

We walk until I find a safe haven for the humans under my care. I find a community a week after we break out. They patch me up and take in the survivors. I give them all the information I can to help them but I need to get moving. I need to get to Lara and Samantha.

a/n So what did you guys think? Was it to much? I was worried has I was writing it that I went to far. Leave a review if you can!


	15. Chapter 15

Lara's POV

How is this possible? Dean's hand is in mine. The walk back to the camp is hazy. My brain can't seem to comprehend what is happening. For 12 years, for 4400 days, I have begrudgingly accepted that Dean was gone, that Dean was dead. But now his hand is in mine. He's alive.

Before we get back to the camp I look to Cas. "Cas I want you to get De De and Sam and get them back to my cabin. I want you to get everyone in their homes until I give them the signal." I whisper to him. I don't want people trying to overwhelm Dean and I need to talk to De De before I bring her supposedly dead father into her life. He nods and I know he'll take care of it. "When you're done come to the bath house and wait for me outside."

Samantha is rubbing her stomach protectively and Ryan has his arm draped around her. "Honey go back to my cabin and we'll figure this out. Take care of your sister." I whisper to her as well. I don't want to overwhelm Dean with information just yet. I need to know he is mentally there first.

When we get to the gate Cas immediately leaves to put my orders into action. Before Samantha can leave Dean's other hand flicks out and he grabs her wrist. "Samantha?" He asks her. Sam puts her hand over Dean's. "Yes daddy it's me."

For a moment I think he is going to start sobbing. He drops my hand for a just a moment and pulls Samantha into his arms. "My baby girl." He cries into her hair. Tears start to pour down Samantha's eyes. "Daddy." She cries back.

I touch Dean's shoulder gently and he gives Samantha a tight squeeze then turns around back to me. He gives me a teary smile and looks back at Samantha and his eyes grow large. "You're pregnant? How old are you now?"

Samantha blushes and reaches for Ryan. "I'm 18 dad. You've been gone for 12 years. This is Ryan daddy. He's my soul mate." Ryan kisses her temple and puts an arm around her. Dean smiles at them both and turns his head to me. "I'll kick his ass later." He says with a snicker. That's the Dean I remember.

"Honey I am going to take Dean to get cleaned up and we'll be back at my cabin soon. Go wait there for a bit." I tell her softly. Samantha shakes her head in agreement and I escort Dean to the showers.

The thought of leaving Dean after just getting him back is physically painful but I need to get my medical bag, clothes for him, and I need to talk to De De. My baby girl is going to be confused and I need to talk to her before I bring Dean into her life. I get him to one of the stalls and I get up on my toes and kiss him softly. He kisses me back and wraps his arms around me. "Lara...I...god Lara I have missed you." He says into my lips.

I indulge for a moment and just enjoy the feeling of his lips on mine. "I love you so much Dean. I can't believe you are back. I have dreamed of this every moment since you were taken for me." Dean kisses my lips once more. "I love you Lara, forever and ever."

I grab a towel and hand it to Dean and turn on one of the showers. "I hate to do this but I need to get some things. Take a shower and I'll be back in soon with my medical bag and some clothes for you." The current clothes he is wearing are filthy and definitely will need to be cleaned if not burned.

Dean frowns but nods his head. "Don't be gone too long. I don't want you out of my arms ever again." I can't help but blush. I kiss him one more time and head out.

Cas is in front of the bath house just like I asked him. "Make sure no one goes in. I don't want him bothered for a bit." Cas agrees and I head out.

Everyone is moving to their cabins and people are asking me if everything is alright. I tell them it's fine and I'll have a group meeting soon but for now I want everyone at home. I get to the medical cabin and I grab our medical kit and head back to my cabin. De De is sitting between Sam and Samantha. She jumps up when she sees me. "What's happening mommy?" She asks nervously.

I get down on my knee in front of her. I pull her into my arms. "Honey I need to talk to you about something. That in coming was for a survivor." I pull back a bit to see her face. I move her dark hair out of her face and I kiss her forehead. "Honey it's your father. He isn't dead and he's come back to us." I hear Sam and Jane gasp behind Deanna.

"Daddy is alive?" De De asks. I shake my head with a big smile on my face. "He is honey. I have him taking a shower and I am getting him some clothes then I am going to bring him back here. He doesn't know about you or that Papa Sam is alive. So I need you to be a good girl while we explain this all to your daddy ok."

De De shakes her head frantically. Her eyes are bright giant emeralds and her smile is blinding. "I will mommy I promise. I get to meet daddy!" She squeals out. Her happiness is contagious and I can't wipe the grin off my face. I stand up and Sam grabs me. "Dean is alive?"

"He is Sam." Happiness flashes across Sam's face then I can see his anxiety. "Sam don't be worried. Dean forgave you years ago. He is going to be so happy to see you. Stay here until I get back alright." I tell him.

Dean's clothes are all still in his drawers so I pull out a pair of jeans, a clean under shirt and flannel, clean boxers , socks, and shoes. I can't believe he is going to be in his clothes again. I head back out and Tyr is standing there. "Is it true?" He asks nervously running his hands through his hair.

"It is. I checked. He's not a demon and he's not a shape shifter. Samantha says its him too." My voice sounds different. It sounds happy and hopeful. It's been so long since I have liked the sound of my voice. 4400 days to be exact, but who is counting... besides me. Tyr breaks into a grin. "Well shit that's awesome." I can't help but roll my eyes and laugh at him. He practically shoves me out the door with a big shit eating grin on his face.

I know it's only been about 15 minutes since I left him but that's 15 minutes to long. I get back to the bath house and Cas is still out front. "I'll be back to the cabin soon. Meet you back there?"

Cas smiles brightly at me. "Wouldn't miss this reunion for the world." He snorts out. I hit him playfully and head into the bathhouse. I put Dean's clothes on the bench next to my medical bag.

I walk to the shower that is running. "Dean I'm back." I tell him pulling the curtain back. His hand darts out before I can open the curtain fully and stops me. "Dean what's wrong?" I ask nervously.

He doesn't respond for a few moments and dread starts to boil in my gut. What if it's a trick and he's not here. "Lara, I'm not the same man that was taken from you apparently 12 years ago." I grab his hand this is holding the curtain shut with my other hand. It feels so wonderful to feel his skin touching mine again. "Dean I'm not the same woman either."

Dean's hand drops from the curtain and I slowly open it. I keep my eyes on his face at first. I smile at him and reach behind him to turn off the water. I grab the towel from the hook and start to dry off his head. I notice a large gash that spans from his forehead down to his cheek. It's an old wound and long ago scarred over. I kiss his nose that was obviously broken and is slightly crooked. There's a fairly nasty scar on the back of his head. It looks like it probably knocked him out cold when he got it.

Methodically I start to dry him off. I drag the towel down his shoulders. I bring the terry cloth down his arms and down his chest. I try not to squeak when I see his lower chest. It's been carved into on the right side and the left side is one large scar. "Dean?" I look up and ask him. He turns red and can't meet my gaze.

Next I turn him around and dry off his back. I trace the nail marks that litter his back. I kiss some of the larger scars and I feel him shudder beneath me. I turn him back around and I drop to my knees to dry his legs off.

Oh god his legs. I look up at him. I know I must look frightened but I'm just worried. "Dean how do you walk?" I ask drying off his legs. I am careful with them and make sure to touch them gently trying to alleviate any of the pain I can. Even the tops of his feet are scarred. I will have to look at the bottoms of his feet once we are alone tonight.

Dean still refuses to look at me but he starts to talk. "It doesn't hurt that much anymore. The right side is just carved so it doesn't hurt that bad. The left was skinned slowly and allowed to heal over. It still burns sometimes but I have lost a lot of feeling down there."

I don't want him to think I am repulsed by him. I could never be sickened by his body. I push on him gently till he hits the wall and I look up at him and smile. "You're still the most handsome man I've ever meet Dean Winchester." Before he can respond I grab him and slowly take him into my mouth. His body is different than it was but I don't care. I still want him.

He's surprised at first. I don't think he knows how to respond when I first take him into my mouth. I relax my throat and take him in deeper. After a moment Dean relaxes against the wall and his hands get tangled in my hair. "Lara." He moans out. I can't help but smile. It's been 12 years since I have been on him and I can only assume if he's been tortured it's been 12 years for him too. It doesn't take long or much to get him ready to cum.

His body tenses and I know he is about to cum. He gets tenser and starts to pull on me. "No Lara." He moans out pulling me from him. I fall back gently and look up at him confused. He grabs the towel and releases into it. He pulls me up and into his chest. I fall into the middle of his chest just like I remember. "What's wrong Dean?" I mutter out into his chest.

Dean doesn't speak for a moment and just rubs my back. He kisses the top of my head. "Lara things happened there." He stops for a moment I can tell he is trying to think of how to form his sentences. "I might be sick. It's not safe for you."

I shake my head in his chest and pull back to look him in the eyes. He refused to meet my stare so I raise my hand and turn his head to look at me. "Dean I don't care. I want to be with you. If you are sick then I will be too because nothing is going to keep me from being with you."

This is going to be a disagreement for awhile I can tell. He doesn't fight me back but just kisses the top of my head. I just stand there for awhile in his arms. Basking in the warmth and glory that is my Dean. I grab his hand and pull him out of the shower. "Most of your wounds are old and already healed so there isn't much I can do for them. I have some pain medicine you can take for your legs though." I hand him his boxers and he pulls them on. I dig through the bag while he changes. By the time I find the pain pill he is dressed. He looks more like my old Dean in his flannel and jeans.

He's different though. The jeans used to hug his thighs and would cling to his ass perfectly. They are loose on him now though. His muscles used to show through his flannel but now it just hangs on him. He smiles at me. I can see he his missing two teeth. He's missing the right canine and a lower left tooth towards the back. If I ever see one of the demons that hurt him I will enjoy torturing them myself. "Wow feels great to be back in my own clothes."

I wrap my arms around him and kiss his chest. "It's great to see you back in your clothes Dean. I should apologize though because I wore a few of them through." His arms tighten around me and I just feel so safe. "I'm not surprised you always had a thing for my clothes." He smirks.

"When we get back to our cabin I have some surprises for you Dean." I say with a sly smile. I think it will be best for him to see Sam and not ruin the surprise. I am excited to introduce him to Deanna.

"So what's up with Sammie and that Ryan guy?" Dean asks me with a glint of something evilly paternal in his eye. I smile and kiss him. I can't get enough of his lips. "She started seeing her soul mate and then he came when she was 6. They have been inseparable ever since. She forced me to let her move in with him 2 years ago and she is about 6 months pregnant right now. They are truly in love Dean and he treats her like a princess."

"Good. He better treat my baby like a damn queen." I smile into his chest. I can't wait till he meets his other baby. I grab his hand and we head back to our cabin. "Wow I can't believe I am back. It's like a dream." He says next to me. I turn my head and smile at him.

We take the stairs quickly and I pause at the door for a moment. This is going to be fun I think with smile. I open the door and pull Dean in with me. For a moment there is no sound. "SAM!" Dean shouts out. Sam breaks out into one of the biggest smiles I have ever seen in my life. He jumps off the couch and has Dean in a tight hug in a moment. "How?" Dean chokes out.

"Heaven wouldn't take me and neither would Hell. So they sent me back to let this part of my life decide where I go. I came back about 11 years ago. I got here a few months after you died... well I guess were taken." Sam and Dean take each other in and I can tell they are thrilled to see each other. "I am with Jane now and we have three boys. I can't wait for you to meet your nephews, Joey, Bobby, and Gabe."

Dean takes in the room. "Where is Gabe?" He asks scanning the crowd. Everyone looks down for a moment. Jane pulls her own Gabe into her legs. "He died a few years back Dean in a demon fight." I reply sadly. It still hurts. Dean nods his head and pats Sam's back again. He gives Cas, Jane, and Tyr hugs.

Deanna sits on the couch silently her green eyes showing how nervous she is. She looks at me with a with a shaky voice asks. "Mommy?" I walk to her and grab her hand. Dean looks at me for a moment and I see his face fall. His face is now pale and he is shaking slightly. Why does he look so nervous. His eyes dart from Tyr to me to Deanna and back to Tyr.

"Dean I want you to meet someone." I bring Deanna to Dean. Dean gets on his knees in front of her and I can tell he trying to act normal but I can see behind the facade. He is freaking out. He is anxious and nervous. "Dean this is Deanna. She is our daughter." Dean looks up at me and his eyes are wide in surprise.

"Our daughter?" He stutters out. I smile at shake my head yes. "Yes Dean our daughter. I found out I was pregnant shortly after you were taken." Dean grabs De De and pulls her into a tight hug.

He pulls her back for a moment and moves the hair out of her face and looks her over. "Deanna I am your daddy. I am so happy to meet you." De De breaks into a huge grin with tears pouring down her face and she pulls Dean into another hug. "Daddy!" She cries out into his shoulder.

Dean's shoulder shakes with a cry of his own. I move my hand to his shoulder and squeeze it. "De De has grown up knowing all about you Dean. She probably knows more stories about you then I do." I say with a smile.

"Well De De we have a lot to catch up on." He says kissing her cheek. Dean stands up but keeps De De close to his side with an arm around her shoulder. He pulls me to him and I feel complete for the first time in 12 years. "Now Samantha I have some catching up to do with you too apparently."

Samantha blushes and at that moment her mouth moves into an O and she touches her stomach. She grabs Dean's hand and puts it on her stomach. "Look daddy! Baby is happy you are here too." Dean's face melts when he feels his grandchild kicking his hand. Dean drops De De and I for moment and pulls Samantha into a tight hug.

"You will never know how much I have missed you baby. You and your mommy are the only reason I survived. My memories of you both allowed me to fight and get out." Samantha starts to cry has she holds on to her Daddy Dean.

"We've missed you so much Daddy." She cries out. Ryan moves to rub her back has she cries into her dad. "I am so sorry Daddy."

Dean pulls back and gives her a confused look. Sammie buries her head in Ryan's neck and continues to cry. "I should have known that my visions of you being tortured were here and now and not in the past when you went to hell. Then while you've been trying to get to us I've been pregnant and my gift has been just so off."

I hadn't even thought of that yet. Dean's face softens and he gently takes Samantha from Ryan's arms and pulls her into him. "Honey there is no way you could have ever known the difference I lived both of them and didn't know the difference. I thought I was in hell most of the time."

Samantha puts her hands around her neck and lifts off the amulet she has kept on since Dean left us 12 years ago and puts it around his neck. "I held on to this for you daddy." Her voice is still shaky and despite the fact she is crying she is also smiling. Dean fingers his necklace and kisses Samantha's forehead. "Thank you honey."

Sam introduced Dean to his nephews and well all sit and talk for a bit. We are all in shock that Dean is here. After a while I know I need to talk to the camp. I gather my family and bring them all to the mess hall. When I get here I ring the bell to signal a meeting. We head inside and sit down while everyone shows up.

Not everyone here was here when Dean was. They start to file and take their seats. Some people recognize Dean and shout out and run to the front to pull him into a hug. De De refuses to leave her daddy's side. She keeps a firm grip on his hand that he refuses to drop.

After everyone gets in and seated I start. "I know you all heard the in coming today." I look down at Dean and smile. I put my hand out for him to grab and he does and squeezes. "Cas and I went out to greet the newcomer and Dean has come back to us. He has been in a demon camp for the past 12 years but he is now back with us."

The rest of the night is a blur. Everyone is excited to have Dean back with us and the camp is alive with happy chit chat. My face feels like it is going to break from smiling so much. We break out some of the better alcohol that we have in the camp and have a huge party. No one is immune from smiling.

After what must be hours we all start to separate and head back to our cabins. The night sky is illuminated with a full moon and stars twinkling. All of us head back to our cabin. Samantha hugs her father good night and heads back home with Ryan. Sam and Dean hug and share a few private comments. I know Sam is asking for forgiveness due to the grave look on his face. Then he relaxes in a teary smile. Cas gives Dean a big hug and whistles out back to his cabin.

Tyr comes out of our room with a bag of his stuff on the twin mattress. "Don't think you'll need any of us again Lara." He says with a wink. I give him a hug and he heads out too. Dean watches us sadly and I know I'll need to talk to him about this soon.

De De starts to yawn and Dean puts all his attention on her and takes her into her room. She happily shows him her room and I see him take in the photos of him in her room with a big smile. De De wants to refuse to sleep but she is asleep rather quickly.

I shut the door to the room and grab Dean's hand and pull him back to our room. It's been 4400 days since I have had him in my bed. And tonight I plan to make up for every single one of those days.

a/n well I am glad the last chapter didn't scar anyone for life! I hope you like this one too!


	16. Chapter 16

Dean's POV

How can I be so nervous? I have made love to this woman more times than I can count in this bed. I have mapped out every inch of her body with my hands and mouth and I am nervous to go back into that same bed with her. This has been one of the thoughts that have kept me going and now I don't know if I can do it. I'm not the man she fee in love with. How can she want me like this anyways?

There is no guarantee that I am sick. I mean hell how would we even test me? It's just a fear I have. Those demons were filthy and I have no idea how many others they fucked. I don't want to risk getting Lara sick. That would truly kill me. There would be no way to treat her if I got her ill.

My drawers are the same way I left them. All my clothes are in the same spot. Some of them have been obviously moved and worn but everything is still here. I never had enough to fill a dresser, none of us do. It makes me inexplicably happy to see my clothes still in her room though. It shows how much she missed me. I shouldn't be happy that she has been mourning me like I was dead but I know how much I have missed her. Every second of every minute of my day since I have been taken was filled with thoughts of Lara and Samantha. I noticed some off the drawers that used to be empty have clothes in them though. They are men's clothes but I don't know whose.

I know it was always a joke but I wonder if Tyr and Lara actually did get together. When De De said Mom, and Lara brought her over to me I thought she was going to tell me she was her daughter with Tyr. I don't know if anything could have shocked me and made more happy then finding out Lara and I had our own daughter. Deanna is amazing. She is adorable, funny, and smart. She has her mom's gorgeous hair and I can see she has her moms sweet and loving personality. I can't wait to get to know her.

Then just a while ago Tyr took his things and a mattress out of Lara's room. If she did get with him I wouldn't care. She thought I was dead. I would rather her of had some comfort while I was gone. She thought I was dead. How could I possibly blame her for trying to have a life after that? And I know Tyr would have treated her like a queen while I was gone, not as good as I would have, but he is the only one who could compare. He would have made her feel loved and safe. It will kill me though if she wants to stay him. I will understand and I will move out gracefully but it will kill me. The joy of meeting Deanna and getting to know her won't keep my heart from failing. God what will I do if she asks me to leave so she can be with Tyr. He is adjusted and normal I can't blame her for wanting him. His body isn't marred like mine. He is only missing one hand while I am missing a huge portion of what used to make me well me. He is much more handsome then I will ever be again. And I doubt he would ever have to explain to her that he was raped by numerous demons and may be sick. Dammit she will never pick me. She will be asking me to leave the moment she comes through that door.

Lara comes into the room has I finish putting on my pajamas. Lara has already seen me naked but I want to keep myself covered if possible. I just hate how my body looks now. I hate to admit it but I used to a be a bit vain. I knew my body was awesome and I was hot. Now... I'm not so sure. She crosses the room quickly and has me at her mercy. Her lips are all over my body and I can't think of anything but her. It's spring again and I can't get enough. "Dean I can't express what it was like without you." She mutters out while she kisses me.

She pushes me down on the bed and crawls over me while she kisses every part of exposed skin. I lay back and relax enjoying having her on me. I will have my chance to worship her body just not yet. She kisses my eye lids then pushes herself above me and looks down at me. "I would lay in this bed every night just praying you would come back to me. I tried to remember every detail that made you up so I would never forget them." She leans across the bed and opens the drawer on her nightstand and pulls out two photographs that hare worn and I can see have been cried on. I remember these photos well even if I am so different now from the man who was photographed. She was so in love with that man. That man has been tortured and mutilated beyond repair. Will she still love the shell that is left? "These photos , your clothes, and my memories were all I had left. I cried myself to sleep every night Dean. I was planning on joining you once De De turned 20."

That gets my attention. I reach out and touch her cheek. "What do you mean you were going to join me when De De turned 20?" I ask her nervously. Tears flood her beautiful blue eyes and I wipe them away with the pads of my fingers. She turns her cheek into the palm of my hand and grabs my other hand and kisses the fingers tips.

"Living without you was so painful. I was nothing without you. If Samantha wasn't here I would have killed myself the moment Cas told me you were gone. I couldn't do it. The first few months I couldn't even leave our bed. Once Jane told me I was pregnant I got up and stayed healthy for her. For the last 12 years I have lived for our girls. I figured once De De was 20 it would be ok to go out in a blaze of glory and be reunited with you. It was the only thought that kept me going, being reunited with you. You are my everything Dean and without you there was so little left." I can hear the heart break in her voice. I feel myself start to choke up.

"So Tyr?" I ask quietly.

Lara smiles and shakes her head. "I was going to talk to you about that. After you died, well I guess after they thought you died we found Sam a few months later. He moved into our cabin and he slept on a mattress on the floor in our room. He woke me out of my nightmares for a few years. Then I kick started his ass to talk to Jane about the fact that he was in love with her. So he moved in with her. Then Uncle Gabe moved in fully." Lara stops for a moment and closes her eyes. My death may have been a bitter wound but the loss of Gabriel was the final nail in the coffin.

"Gabe and I were closer than ever. He was like my dad. He kept me together and helped me whenever he could. Then the demons attacked. We lost a lot in that fight. He was decapitated. The demons took him from me too. After that Tyr and Cas have taken turns staying with me. I was uncontrollable at night. I would get violent and have punched them numerous times. I also started sleep walking. I was a hazard to myself and everyone in this camp. I was terrified I would hurt De De and she was afraid to stay in bed with me even if she had a nightmare. They had to watch me. Some of the women think that Tyr and I got together but Dean I swear to you I have never been with him. I haven't so much as thought of another man since the day you left." Her eyes bore into my soul. She is nervous I don't believe her.

I push myself up and kiss her lips softly. "I believe you Lara. I wish I could tell you that I haven't been with anyone since I was taken from you but the demons made sure that wasn't true. They..." I can't finish the statement.

Lara lays down next to me and puts her head on my chest. She sighs and lays there for a moment. I can feel her breathing me in just like I am breathing her in. "Dean if you can't tell me about what happened yet I understand. But I want you to tell me someday. Regardless of what happened there you have always and will always have all of my body, heart, and soul."

We lay there in happy silence for a few minutes. "When I came too I thought I was dead. It was so dark and so hot. I figured they killed me and I was in hell because I said no to Michael. I didn't fight them because I thought I was dead in hell. There was no reason to fight what would never end. I had no intention of picking up the blade again either. When they started on me I would just go to you and Sammie in my head. It was the only way to survive. My torturer was methodical. He started with my right foot and carved these patterns into my skin. He would trace over the wounds over and over again until they scarred the way he wanted. Then on my left side he would peal small sections off then he would let it heal and do it again somewhere else."

Lara traces the patterns on my chest with her fingers while she lies on my chest. "They would come into our cells and rape us whenever they felt like it. Sometimes they would pull us all out and tie us down and just go down the line. I figured we were all dead. I even looked for Sam. Then one day the demon stopped responding to Christo. That's when I found out I was alive."

I can't keep going. I need a short break. Lara turns her head and looks up at me. "About 5 years ago the demons lost their power. They burned out their vessels and became one with them. They still have the same weaknesses for salt, iron, holy water, and devils traps but they can't be exorcised. They are mortal now though. We can kill them easily. Gabriella, the girl from the body farm that you said Sam in that other world married was at that fight. I killed her. Or I guess killed the demon in her. Shiva, Parvati, and Tyr lost their powers. Shiva and Parvati died mortal died that day too. Uncle Gabe said the world was devoid of all religions so everyone is powerless now."

The pain in her voice when she talks about Gabe and Gabriella is obvious. I wish I had been her to comfort her but I wasn't and I can't go back in time. About five years ago makes sense though. That is probably around the time I figured it out. "Once I knew I was alive I started to plan. I made them think I had blanked out but I waited and I planned. I got strong again and I focused all my energy on getting out. They finally made a mistake and I killed them all. I got the others out and to another camp like ours. Then I started walking. I had to get back to you Lara. The demons at first would try to use you as a weapon against me. They would tell me how they found and killed you and kidnapped Sammie or even worse. But they learned quickly that mentioning you was a surefire way to get me so riled up I was unstoppable. So they stopped mentioning you."

We lay there in silence again for a few moments. "Dean I am so glad you are back. This is my biggest fantasy, my only wish come true. We will never be separated again I swear." Lara props herself over me again and her little hands go to the hem of my tshirt. She keeps her eyes on mine has she pulls my tshirt off.

I grab her hips and settle her on top of me. I grab the bottom of her shirt and pull it apart the buttons on her shirt flying everywhere. She giggles and my heart melts. I have missed that sound. I slide the shirt down her shoulder and take in her body. She starts to full body blush. "I've changed to Dean. I have more scars on my back." She shows me her arm and it look like someone took a chunk out of it. "I was grabbed by a demon a while back and they took a bit of me with them. Don't worry I killed the bitch for it." She lift up her left arm and shows me her side that has a long scar. "I got shot too."

Lara gets off me for a minute and pulls her pants down. I don't mean to but I let out a gasp and jump up and knell down beside her. I kiss her tortured leg. "What happened here?" I blurt out. I trace my hands up and down her marred flesh.

"I went on a mission a while ago and the demons now have to eat. We found a group of them in a house and one of them was cooking. They flung the boiling water on me. It burned my entire leg. I couldn't walk for months but it's ok now. Sometimes when it rains it acts up and it burns every once in awhile but I don't notice it much anymore.

I kiss her knee and move up her thigh. Lara lets out a sigh has I continue to kiss up her torso until I am standing in front of her. We are both breathing heavy and our chests are heaving into each other. "God Lara I want you." I whisper into her ear. I feel her knees go weak for a moment and I catch her. "I want you to know that I want you with every fiber of my being. But we can't Lara. I can't risk getting you ill." I can't believe I am saying this. All I want is to make love to her but I can't.

Lara's eyes clear up and she looks me straight in the eyes I couldn't break the stare even if I wanted too. "Dean I don't care. I have lived with 12 years without you. I would rather us both get sick and die together then not be with you."

I shake my head no regrettably. "Maybe we can get some condoms. Then at least you would be safe." Lara shakes her head no furiously. She grabs my face and pulls me down for a scorching kiss. She pushes past my lips and kisses me until I am dizzy.

"I want you in me Dean. I want to feel you fill me up. I want to feel you without a barrier. If you are sick I am going to get sick too end of story. If you deny me this I will just tie you down..." My face must give myself away. "Oh Dean I'm sorry that was horrible of me to say." She cries out. Lara starts to push herself off me but I grab her before she can get far and kiss her back.

Lara melts into my arms. "It's fine Lara." I reassure her. "I could never associate you with them. I love you so much."

I can't stop kissing her. I feel alive. Having her under my hands is all my dreams come true. "Then make love to me Dean." She moans out while I kiss her neck. I push her back on the bed and cover her with me body and shake my head no but keep kissing her.

This is a bad idea... keeps running through my head. I can't risk hurting her. She is everything to me. "Dean if I was sick would anything stop you from taking me?" She asks me panting slightly under me while I kiss her chest.

Dammit she had to bring up the one argument that I can't win. "That's not the point Lara. If I made you sick I would never forgive myself."

Lara snickers at me. "If I don't make love to you Dean I will never forgive myself. Now please just do this. I will never ask you for another thing as long as we live." I have never been good at denying her something I could give her. I slowly shake my head yes.

"I don't want to hurt you but you understand the risks." I tell her. Lara smiles at me and brings me up to her face where she kisses me. Lara proceeds to flip me on my back. "I want to remember your body Dean." I am nervous to have her get reacquainted with me body. It is so ugly now. She fell in love with a much more attractive Dean. I might repulse her now.

Lara kisses me from head to toe. I am a boneless mess by the time she is done with me. She kisses, licks, and soothes over every mark on my body. She is down by my feet now kissing the bottom of them. "I wish I could bring them back to kill them for what they did to you my love." Lara says tracing the scars on the bottom of my feet. Those were the worst. It took me months to walk again. Every time I tried to stand they would crack open again. I had to crawl on my hands on knees.

"I am sorry Lara." I sigh out. Lara kisses my feet and lazily moves up my body. "What are you sorry about love?" Lara asks kissing my lips.

"I am disgusting now." I state. Lara shakes her head no and kisses me passionately. "No man has ever been more handsome or gorgeous. I love you and your body Dean. I loved you then, now, and forever." I hate sounding like a girl. This is a chick flick moment if I ever saw one but after 12 years of being repeatedly tortured I can't find myself to care. Lara's hands travel down my body and grabs my cock in her petite warm hands.

"Not yet Lara. I want to time to map out every inch of your body." I laugh out flipping her over on her back. She lets out a startled laugh and lays down on the pillow beneath me. "God I have missed you like this." I say into her neck. I used to have a photograph of her like this but it was taken from me the day I supposedly died.

The Polaroid is still on her night side table. I quickly pick up and take a picture of her splayed out beneath me. Just like before her hands are up and tangled in her stunning raven hair. Her eyes are twinkling with joy like sapphires in the sun and I am about to make her body purr out in lust. I put the camera down and throw the picture on the bed and get back to what I was doing.

Just like she did to me and I kiss over every inch of her body. I have found all my old favorite spots and some new ones. I take care to kiss over all her new scars. I spend special attention to her poor leg. I splay my palms over them and just hover over them feeling the raised skin beneath me. Her back arc's back against my touch. "Please Dean I need you." She moans out.

A part of me knows I shouldn't be doing this. Another part of me is screaming to just get into her again where I belong. I promised her I would do this consequences be damned. I move back up her body and settle between her spread legs. I line up with her and kiss her lips greedily. Lara immediately wraps her legs around my hips pulling me into her. She moans out has I slowly enter her. God it feels good to be home. "More amazing then I remember Lara." I moan out.

Lara smiles at me and puts her hands on my hips. She pushes me to start to slowly move in and out of her. It's been 12 years for both of us. There is no way we are going to last long. I have lost track over who is calling out for who. We're in sync and we are moving together for the first time in over a decade. "Dean I can't!" She screams out.

"I know baby cum with me." I call out to her. She clenches around me and I feel her go beneath me. It pushes me over the edge and I let go in her. Neither of us can move for a moment. "I love you so much Lara." I whisper into her ear. I kiss the side of her face because I can't move my body right now to kiss her lips.

"Love you too Dean. Then, now, and forever." She sighs out her eyes shutting. Once I get the strength I roll off her and pull her onto my chest. This is what is right. This is heaven here on earth.

a/n so what did you think? only two chapters left!


	17. Chapter 17

Dean's POV

It's been over 10 years since I was "resurrected" as Sammy likes to say. We all moved to New Sparta, another dumbass Sammy thing, shortly after. I really like it here, even if I sometimes do miss the cabins.

There are plenty of homes and we are completely surrounded by a brick wall. We have spray painted wards all over them and managed to permanently put salt all around the perimeter. We also brought the iron rail tracks here and put them around the camp. There are guard towers erected so we have a 360 view of the area around us.

The best is the fenced in farming. We have more food than ever before and we don't have to go out on missions that often anymore. Hell we even have farm animals now. We have fresh milk, eggs, and cheese on a daily basis. Who would have thought the king of fast food would be thrilled to have fresh milk in the morning. After the stuff I ate in the caves though very little of my own diet settles well with my stomach. I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables. Sometimes meat makes me barf. I don't regret what I did to get out but now when I look at some meat I can't help but think of my own skin that I ate to get back to Lara. A lot of things have changed. If there is a mission that I have to go on now Lara goes with me. We won't be separated again. We were separated to long to be ripped apart again.

I wish I could say that everything since I got back has been perfect but this is real life not some made for tv movie. There are issues. Lara still has horrible nightmares and quite frankly they are somewhat worse now that she knows what I went through. Over the past 10 years I have fully told her what happened to me down in that cave. Maybe I shouldn't have told her about it. It may have been to much but we promised to be completely honest. I told her everything that happened to me and she told me everything she felt and though including her suicidal thoughts. Countless times I have had to wake her up for her nightmares about me though.

_"Dean... god no Dean..." I hear in my own dream. I slowly come to and it takes a moment to realize where I am. My eyes adjust to the dark of my room. The humming of the ceiling fan bringing me to reality. I am not trapped in a cave being tortured by demons. The fans help me remember that. THe nice hum of white noise and the feel of air going across my skin. "Dean no!" Lara shouts out next to me._

_ I flip over quickly and Lara is completely tangled in our sheets. Her naked body is slick with sweat and her face is so pale and clammy. I have learned from experience I need to wake her up slowly, not just shake her awake. I gently push on her shoulder. "No Dean please no." She cries out. I slowly gather her in my arms and when she comes too her head is cradled in my chest. She does better when I am holding her and she can feel my skin against hers. _

_ She moves her head still she is looking up at me with broken eyes. I move the sweat slicked hair off her forehead and kiss her gently. "It's ok baby. I am here everything is fine." She closes her eyes and buries her head into my chest. I feel her tears on my naked skin and she just lays there for a moment._

_ "You're here Dean. You're here." She murmurs to herself her hands trialing over my skin, proving to herself that I am actually here. "And I'm never leaving you again baby." I reassure her._

It always takes time but I get her back to sleep. She dreams of her past and of Gabriel too. I doubt sleeping will ever be easy for her but at least I am here now to comfort her.

My issues aren't just at night. The first time I came back from hell I managed to keep myself together. I had nightmares but I was able to separate what happened to my soul and what happened to my body. I don't have that this time. I can't separate it anymore and I have waking nightmares sometimes. Little things will throw me into a horrible memory and it takes me awhile to come back. Things like dangling light bulbs, the sound of boots crunching on dirt, the feeling of rope, it all can send be back to that horrible place. Sometimes Lara will find me huddled in a corner of our house completely freaked out by something has stupid as the mop bucket that reminded me of the water pail I had in that prison.

My body doesn't help matters much. I have regained most of my old muscle mass and I have gotten a bit of sun back on my skin but I'm still marred. Lara says my ass finally fills out my jeans and she loves to grab it but the moment I take off my shirt and pants I can see everything they did to me. Cas spared me that the first time. None of that has stopped Lara from loving me though.

Lara's own marred left leg is draped over my body. Her scarred leg going over mine. Her body crushed up against mine with her head on my chest. No none of this has stopped us from loving each other. I trail my fingers down her back making her shiver slightly.

It's the middle of summer and we have the windows open and the fan on. Even though we have electricity we try not to use to much so we don't put too much strain on the system. Only when it's over 90 does anyone use the AC. I like it like this though. Lara curled against me and the wind blowing over our bodies.

Lara starts to move against my body and kiss my chest. I let out a smirk. "Ready to go again Lara?" I joke with her. She lethargically moves up and straddles me. "Always Dean." She chuckles back.

Without warning Lara takes me into her body and I let out a moan and I hear her sigh out. I slip into her easily, like I was made to and she stops once I am fully in her for a moment. I put my hands on her hips and she leans down and kisses me. "I love you Dean." She murmurs into my lips.

Ever since I have some back I am have been different. Chick flick moments, declarations of love, are part of my normal day. I know what it's like to go without now. "I love you more Lara." I respond and she laughs at me.

We go from slow and lazy to fast and passionate quickly. She is riding me up and down and her head is thrown back in ecstasy. Every sound that escapes her lips go right to my dick. I can't stop touching her. From her hips to her perfect breasts. "Dean I'm... gonna... God Dean!" She cries out has she cums.

Her body goes limp and I take advantage of that. I quickly flip our positions and she is laying sprawled out on her back. Her arms and hands spread out on the bed, her hair circling her like a dark halo. I nestle between her legs and lean down and kiss her while I continue to move in and out of her. "I can't... too much... DEAN!" She screams out beneath me.

She rides out her first orgasm and quickly becomes an active participant with me on her second. I am surprised I have lasted this long to be honest. I'm not as young as I used to be and she is so beautiful and amazing. "Lara so fucking beautiful." I moan into her ear has she racks her nails down my back and rest the palms of her hand on my ass and pulls me into her.

We both cum together and I fall on her. I manage to roll off of her and pull her into my side and we are back to where we were when we first woke up. Lara naked with her leg draped over my body. She nestles into the crock of my neck and places soft kisses along my neck and shoulder. "Then, now, and forever Dean." She whispers.

I can't help but smile. I move my arm that is trapped next to her body and put it under her neck and pull her to my chest. I run my fingers through her hair and trace the scars on her back. We lay there content to just enjoy the moment.

The front door opens and I hear foot steps down stairs. "MOM! DAD!" De De yells into the house. "You guys ready yet?" She shouts up the stairs.

"Not yet honey! Give us a minute!" I yell down to her. Lara sighs on my chest not wanting to move. I know what she means. I don't want to move either.

"They are like fucking rabbits I swear!" De De mutters downstairs. Lara and I meet each other's stare and start to laugh. I kiss her nose. "We had plenty of time to make up for." I say with a wink. Lara blushes and we get up quickly take showers, separately or it would not be so quick. That is one thing I love about this place. We have the river that runs through here and the lake outside. Every house has running water and I can take warm showers all I want. Well the warm water can be a bit spotty and showers should be no longer than 5 minutes but I still get them.

We are dressed quickly and run downstairs to find De De sitting at the kitchen island getting the cake that her and Lara baked last night ready to go. "You two are ridiculous you know that?" She jokes with us.

Our little girl is so grown up. She's 22 and moved in her with man Mike about 6 months ago. She is petite like Lara and can be a grumpy when her sister calls her shorty. From behind I can sometimes confuse her for Lara but then she turns around and I see so much of myself in her. Her eyes are the exact shade of green as mine and Lara says her mouth looks like mine. I can only imagine how painful it was for Lara to look at her every day for 12 years and see me.

"You should be glad your father and I are so ridiculous or you never would have been conceived missy." Lara retorts with a snicker. She then gives our daughter a hug and kisses her cheek. "Is your sister ready for us now?" Lara asks grabbing the cake from De De.

"Yeppers the party is all set up!" De De responds. It's Sammie's oldest child birthday today. Sophie is 10 today and we have all be planning the birthday for weeks. Sammie and Ryan have two children, Sophie and their little boy Harry after Ryan's father.

We head next door and there are kids running around wild. I am glad that we have built enough of a safe haven that children feel free to run wild. Lara takes the cake back to the kitchen and I find Samantha sitting on a rocking chair in the living room with her hand resting on her very pregnant stomach. I go over to her and lean down and give her a kiss on the forehead and rub her belly. "How are you today sweetheart?"

Samantha smiles at me then winces . "This one is a little terror already. The little peanut kicked me all night long and has been excited all day. It must know we are having cake today." She says with a smirk. "But dad I swear this is the last one. If Ryan wants another kid he is going to have carry it!" I laugh with her and lay my hand on her stomach to feel my newest grandbaby kick against my hand.

I head back into the house and I feel a body grab my legs. "GRANDPA!" I look down and Sophie is wrapped around my legs. "Are you going to play pin the tail with me today Grandpa?" She asks . I lean down and get on her level. I told her about pin the tail on the donkey and even managed to find a copy of the game in store months ago. "You better believe it!" Sophie breaks into a huge smile and gives me a hug.

Before I can get up another body is slamming into me. "Grandpa!" Harry yells out crawling all over me. I let out a laugh and fumble to stand up. I pick Harry up and he relaxes in my arms for a few moments that I know his 4 years self is only going to do for a few moments.

"You being good for your mommy Harry?" I ask him with mock seriousness. He smiles a big toothy grin and shakes his head yes. "I mamma's lil helper!" He exclaims. I kiss his forehead and put him down and he goes running off.

Cas, Tyr, Sam, and Jane are already sitting out back on lawn furniture drinking home brewed beer. I wave at them and see Lara coming to me with a beer for both of us. I take it from her and pull her into my side and kiss her. "Thanks you know me so well." I know Lara is rolling her eyes at me and I just smile.

We take a seat with Sam and Jane and we all clink drinks and relax. All the kids and grandkids are running around us and I know none of us could be any happier.

By the end of the night we are all sitting around a fire out back. Sophie is asleep on my lap and Harry is asleep on Lara's. Ryan helped Samantha come out to a lawn chair a while ago and she is resting peacefully while we all chatter around her. De De is snuggled into Mike's side and he has his arm wrapped around her. "So Mike and I have some news." She says shyly.

We all sit up and look at them. De De grabs Mike's hand and rests it on her belly and I know what it is. "We are expecting our first child." She says looking into Mike's eyes. He is smiling like a god damned fool at her.

Lara jumps up waking up Harry who looks around slightly dazed. She runs over to Deanna and gives her a huge hug. "Oh honey I am so happy!" She squeals then gives Mike a big hug. I gently move Sophie over and I go over to my baby girl and give her a hug too. "That's great news sweetheart."

I move to Mike and give him a tighter hug then necessary. "You hurt her or my grandbaby I will hurt you." I warn him. He squirms a bit but gives me a firm stare. "I would never hurt them."

I break into a toothy grin. "Good because I like you. I would hate to break your face." He turns red and goes back to De De's side. Lara hits me gently. "Down big boy." She mocks me. I kiss the top of her head and give her a squeeze.

After a bit longer De De and Mike head back to their home and Sammie and Ryan get their two kids to bed. Sam's kids have run off somewhere, teenagers! Cas, Tyr, Sam, Jane, Lara, and I stay outside around the fire drinking beer. Jane is snuggled into Sam's side and Lara is snuggled into mine. Cas and Tyr are keeping us all entertained with ridiculous stories from their long long lives. They live in the house across from us and have become great friends.

Lara lets out a big yawn and I look down at her and she gives me a sleepy smile. "Ready to go back to bed Dean?" She asks hopefully. I kiss her forehead and shake my head yes. I get up and extend my hand to help Lara to her feet. "Well guys we are exhausted. We are gonna head to bed."

"Keep your windows shut tonight!" Sam yells at me. I throw my beer bottle at him and he stealthy darts out of its way and I flip him the finger. He laughs at me and gathers Jane into his arms and start to head back to their home.

"Hey assholes! Don't worry about the fire or anything!" Tyr yells at the couples has we leave. I don't bother turning around. "I don't have to worry about it your still there!" I respond.

"Fucking assholes!" Tyr calls out to us with a laugh. Cas and him sit back down and pull out another beer and go about their story telling.

Our home smells like summer. All the windows open with the curtains blowing in the gentle breeze. We don't turn the lights on with the moon so bright. Lara grabs my hands and pulls me up the stairs. I trail my free hand over the curves of her body as she walks.

By the time we get to our room I have my lips on her too. I push her gently back on to the bed and she lays down in the pale moonlight. She extends her hand for me to join her and I take it and she pulls me to her. Despite everything we found each other again. We are together then, now, and forever.

a/n I hope you guys like this chapter. it seemed like maybe y'all didn't like the last one. Only one more to go on this story!


	18. Chapter 18

Lara's POV

40 years later.

"Hey Dean! I have some things to catch you up on. Where do I start! Sophie's baby girl Mary had her first kiss last night. Sophie's man Luke found her kissing him behind the school and I think almost killed the boy. You should have heard the ruckus! It woke up half the camp and Mary came running to me crying that her dad was being ridiculous. It took me some time but I got her calm again."

"Cas died a few nights ago though honey. I know I should be sad but he was so happy to go. You should have seen him honey. He was so calm and happy laying in his bed. He kept going on about Eve and how wonderful it going to be to reunited with her. Tyr of course is devastated. He moved into our guest room. He says he can't live in that big empty house any longer. De De's oldest, Balthazar, I could still kill Cas for convincing them that was a great name for their first born, said he would take Tyr in when it comes down to it. Him and his wife have the space and honestly I think they hope that Tyr can knock some sense into our dumb ass great grandson John who is being a typical teenager."

"Oh and most importantly honey De De's youngest Lucy is going to give birth any day now." I have to stop a minute to just laugh. Cas convinced De De it would be cute to name her child after Lucifer after the bitch of a birth she gave us. My poor baby was in labor for 34 hours with her. And she was quite a surprise. She was in her mid 40's when she got pregnant with Lucy. I shouldn't have been surprised when she named her first born Balthazar, then her daughter Anael and her next son Uriel though. I knew De De and Cas were always to close for anything good to come of it. "We are going to have our 9th great grandchild soon honey and it will be to our youngest grand baby. She is so nervous and wants me to be there to help her with the birth. But to be honest I think she is carrying twins. She's just to big not to be. I have helped deliver every single one of our 7 grand children and all 8 of our great grand children so I know you know why I had to stay and help her with this one. Lucy wants to name the baby Dean if it's a boy and Lara if it's a girl. She misses you terribly love and I think she knows I won't be around much longer after our newest grand child is born. I just miss you so much Dean. "

I can't help the tears that come to my eyes. "I know it's only been 3 months since you left but I am so terribly sad without you. I stay in our home and all the great grand kids takes turn having a sleep over at Gi Gi's house so I'm not lonely in our big empty house."

"Sam's oldest, Joey, died on a mission recently honey. I am glad that Sam and Jane weren't alive to have to go through the loss of child. I know it would have killed them. His widow is besides herself and moved in with her oldest daughter, Darla. They are trying to help her through it but I know there is no cure for a broken heart better than anyone. If you get a chance make sure to find him and take care of him up there please. "

I sit quietly for a few more minutes at Dean's gravesite and leave the flowers I picked for it. The only reason I haven't died of a broken heart yet is because Lucy asked me to try to hold on till her baby is born. She is terrified to give birth and wants me there. Lucy and Dean always had a very special relationship. We love all our grand kids and great grand kids equally but Dean and Lucy just had a bond. Her birth was so rough and her mom was older when she had her. She's 22 years younger than her older brother and De De had terrible post partum with her. So Dean and I stepped in and helped where we could. She spent just has much time with us growing up has her own mom and dad. We even changed De De's room to be hers. I promised I would stay until our baby's babies are born.

It's harder to get up than it used to. I use his headstone to pull myself up and I lean down and kiss the top. "Love you Dean. Then, now and forever." I tell him looking up with a big smile on my face. I'll be with him soon.

The walk back home is peaceful. I take a seat on our front porch and just relax. Sam's and Jane's great grandchild Paige took over their house a while after they died. That was a rough time. We had a horrible flu go through New Sparta. We lost 15 people that winter, Jane and Sam amongst them. I am glad they went together. I don't think either of them would have wanted to survive alone. What was that 10 maybe 15 years ago now? Time is hard to keep track of when your my age.

I rock in my chair and just enjoy the spring day. Dean always said I smelled like spring to him so we both especially loved this season. "Gi Gi! Gi Gi!" I hear one of my great grand children yelling down the street. I push myself off the chair and look down the street. Henry, De De's younger son, Uriel, youngest son, comes running down the street.

Henry takes the stairs quickly just like I could have years ago before age won. "Yes honey." I ask once I get an arm full of my great grand baby. He hugs on to me and looks up at me and smiles. "Gi Gi! It's Lucy she is in labor. She sent me to come get you!"

I give him a soft smile and I follow him down the street. He leads me to the medical center in the middle of our community. I am glad they got her here. Jane's youngest son Gabriel, De De, and her oldest girl Anael have learned from Jane and I what we they could and have succeeded us in the medical field. We have a great medical library of books we have found over the years and even have a herb garden out back to make our own medicines.

Lucy's man Tyrese is holding her hand and has a cold cloth on her forehead and is trying to calm her down. When she sees me come in her face relaxes. "Grammy your here!" She shouts out in pain has another contraction hits her body. I get to her side has fast as I can with my old body and grab her other hand. "Of course I am honey. Now let's get these babies out."

"Baby grammy." Lucy says through gritted teeth. I chuckle and pat her hand. "We'll see honey." I go down with De De between her daughters legs to see the progress with the birth.

Some of the women in our line have hard births like me. And some have easy ones. I am thankful this is an easy one. Within five hours Lucy and Tyrese are laying on the recovery bed with their twins in their arms. Lucy looks up at me as I come in. "We want to name them after you and Grandpa Grammy." She tells me while she kisses the top of her baby girls head.

I take a seat on the bed next to them and look at my 9th and 10th great grandchild. "That is a wonderful idea honey. I know your grandpa would be thrilled." Tyrese is one of my favorite grandson in laws. Dean and I found him on a mission what is 18 years ago now. He was just a little four year old hiding in broken down building. His parents had died and we brought him back with us. We raised him like our own little boy and when him and Lucy were old enough to realize boys and girls don't have cooties they fell head over heels in love. I can still remember the day that Dean found him kissing Lucy in the backyard. He grabbed him by his shirt collar and they disappeared for a few hours. They came back roaring drunk and Tyrese had a black eye and split lip but they were both smiling.

Tyrese grabs my hand. "I know you miss him Grammy." He tells me. I smile at him and give his forehead a kiss. "I do but I had to see my newest great grand babies come into the world. Now hand over one of those babies before I just snatch one."

He laughs and hands me Dean. I hold the little baby in my arms. His eye are closed and he is sound asleep. I rock him in my arms and I trace my fingers over his soft caramel skin. He starts to stir and opens his little eyes slowly and looks up at me. He has green eyes like my Dean. "Hi honey, I'm your Gi Gi. Let me get you to your mommy so you can eat." I hand Lucy Dean and she hands me my name sake and I cuddle her in my arms for a bit.

I look at Lucy and Tyrese and just smile. They remind me so much of Dean and I. They are so in love. I am glad my youngest grand child found the love I had with her grandfather. It's not that my other children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren haven't found love but not all of them have found their soul mates. My little Lucy and Tyrese have though. "Lucy, Tyrese." I say to them to get their attention . They both look up at me. "Your grandfather and I discussed this a long time ago and we want you two to have our home."

Lucy shakes her head no. "No Grammy that is your house." I smile at her. "It is my house honey but I'm old and that house needs life. When I go I want you both to have it. I have let your mother and aunt know that is our wishes. Besides with your little ones that town home you guys are in is going to feel really small soon."

Tyrese and Lucy look at each other smile and Lucy looks back at me. "That's fine but I want to change your mattress." I let out a true from the belly laugh and shake my head at them.

I am not has young has I used to be and I am getting tired. I hand Lara back to her father and kiss my grandchild, adopted baby, and great children good bye. I slowly walk back home. It is dusk now. All the kids are spending the last few minutes of the sun playing outside. I pass a lot of my great grand children on my walk home and they shout out for me. I give them all a hug and kiss and keep walking home. Tyr waves at me from Balthazar's porch and I wave back. He's still physically a few years younger than me. He didn't lose his powers until I was already older than him. He is sitting with John and I hope he is talking some sense into that boy.

My home is dark but it's not scary or lonely. This house has seen so much happiness and has seen such a wonderful life. I can just imagine how happy this house is going to be to have Lucy and Tyrese move in with the twins. I open the front door and kick off my shoes at that front door. I am not that hungry so I head upstairs to Dean's and I bed.

I change into one of Dean's old tshirts and crawl into bed. I grab the picture of him and I off my bedside table and kiss him softly and put it back down. I curl into a ball and drift off to sleep quickly.

_"Lara! Lara! Is that you!" I hear in my dream. I slowly open my eyes and sit up. My room is filled with sunlight and I look around for the source of the sound. Dean is sitting on the bed next to me. I smile at him. He is so handsome._

_ "Lara you're here!" He exclaims. I was so taken away by his gorgeous body that I didn't notice how young he looks. He is no longer gray haired with wrinkles around his eyes and mouth. Not to mention the smell little pouch he got in the last few years around his waist. Not that it made him any less attractive to me. "Dean?!" I shout out. _

_ He jumps up on the bed and covers me with his body. "You're here Lara. We are never going to be separated again love." He leans down and kisses me passionately. I can't help but to respond to him. my hands are all over him. "Dean." I moan out._

_ I don't want him to leave me but he pulls back slightly. I take him in for the first time with a clear mind. He looks like he did when I first meet him over 60 years ago. Before he was taken from me, before he was tortured. He winks at me knowing I am appreciating his body. He jumps up and pulls me to my feet and drags me to a mirror. _

_ He slips off the thin nightgown I am wearing and shows me my new body. "You're healed to baby." He says while he moves the hair of my left shoulder and kisses my neck down my shoulder. I take in my body and I turn around to see that the burn marks on my leg is gone, the chunk out of my arm is healed, my back is soft and smooth. _

_ I grab Dean and start to rip off his clothes. "I want to see your body too Dean." I laugh out has I get his clothes off and in a pile at our feet. His chest, back, and legs are a smooth plain of toned muscle. He has all his teeth back and his face no longer has a gash across it. _

_ Who would have thought we would be having sex in heaven. Well apparently Dean because has he is pounding into me he keeps telling me how much he was looking forward to this while he waited for me. _

_ We lie in our bed a tangle of limbs and heavy breathing. "I missed you so much baby. Lucy had her babies. She had twins just like I said she would and she named them Lara and Dean." Dean pulls me into his body and I feel myself getting ready for round two. _

_ He kisses the top of my head and traces his fingers of my smooth back. "Sam and Jane are going to flip when they see you here. My parents and your parents are here too baby. Bobby and Karen have been reunited as well. They have all been chomping at the bit to meet you. Also Joey came awhile ago." He says sadly. _

_ I kiss his chest. "It was horrible Dean. His wife is devastated." Dean tightens his grip on me. "It doesn't hurt here like it does on earth. He is at peace and time will go fast for him while he waits for her." The last thing I want to do is get out of bed and leave Dean's naked body but I have people to meet. _

_ In no time at all I am surrounded by my family. Sam and Jane are ecstatic to see me and my parents who died when I was two and have no memories of are crying happy tears to have me in their arms. Bobby and Karen are a bit shy with me but I quickly pull them into tight hugs. Joey is safely between his parents and can't stop asking me about his wife. Uncle Gabe is here too. I hold on to him the longest and cry into his chest. He just holds me and I feel at peace._

_ In the back of the room are seven souls I don't recognize. I give Dean a confused look and he smiles at me and grabs my hand takes me over to them. "Honey I want you to meet our six children that we never got to have. They have been waiting a long time to be reunited with you." My eyes fill with tear and I hug and each and every one of them. Dean starts with the first one. "This is John. Next to him are the twins Cole and Gabriel. Then the twins Rick and Luke. And Daphne. The man next to her is Cas' brother Balthazar." He drapes his arm around Daphne and pulls her into him. I have a feeling she is more than just a charge to him now._

_ I spent the first 23 years of my life in hell. I was a demon play toy in a demon body farm. Death was a release but Lucifer resurrected me and forced me to give him a child. Then Dean came. He changed my life. I had 6 great years with him then 12 miserable years without him followed by 50 wonderful years with Dean and my family. Now I have eternity in heaven with everyone I love. _

a/n I hope you guys like the ending. I really loved writing this story I am sad it is done. I could be convinced though to write a few one shots if there is anything you guys kinda wanna read about.

I am glad I did this story this like. Originally (don't kill me) I was going to have Dean die in Becoming Free when Lara and John were in this world. I was gonna have this Dean go back with Lara and John and slowly they would fall in love. But I hated the idea of killing that Dean and I hated the idea of Lara getting over him and getting with this Dean. So I came up with this story instead.

I hope you guys all liked it as much as I liked writing it. I am open to one shot ideas and If I come up with one I might just post it. But for now this story is done and I'm really happy with it!


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